Well new development into my break-up! 3 days ago I had a mild stroke and am now paralised down my left arm. My Lesbian Partner told me that she wanted to break up our 18 year relationship - now she keeps hugging me and kissing me. I asked her what was that all about and she told me that she still loves and cares for me - she feels like she is wasting her life - pointing out that it is not with me she is wasting her life with, but she feels like she is just living her life wasting it by hanging about and waiting to die. She pointed also out that all that hugging does not mean anything so I should not get my hopes up as we are still over. I do enjoy these times but she comes to me.
She has gone away for the weekend (with a friend of ours) she kissed me and said "see you Sunday, be careful".
Is she staying because of my stroke? I asked that and she said no.
Do you still want to sort the house and everything and see a solicitor? She said not at the moment.
I asked what is happening then? She said I don't know.
She cooks my tea, she is concerned and she keeps hugging and kissing me
HELPPPPPPPPPP

Sorry for your health problems. It seems your not getting the answers to your questions.

Let me ask this as is it possible she is distracted by the attention of another, and is merely waiting for a place to go to present itself?
Does she have the means to be independent?

I think your waiting for her to be more forth coming and reassure you as to where this relationship is going and she isn't. Being in limbo can't be fun, so being more proactive in getting your questions answered is the only thing I can think of, if it's that important to you.

The other part of the equation is are you really insecure?

I had to reread some of your other posts and it seems she is distancing herself and being very independent. Could mid-life be creeping into this equation?

Hi Talaniman
Yes I feel very insecure, because I don't know where I stand nor do I know where to go from here. I love that woman with all my heart and soul, I do try and distance myself but so far no can do. Pure and simple I don't want to loose her, she is my life. I said that before. It sounds like I am a sucker for punishment, but I rather have a tiny little bit of her than loose her completely. Sick and sad that what you may think and you probably right. She only goes away at the weekends( with our friend, whom I completely trust, as she is trying to get me and my Partner back on track) and when my partner spends time at home it is like old times. Hugging, kissing, talking, laughing. I don't ask questions as often as I do not wish to rock the boat.
And to your question of mid-life crisis YES she stated the menopause about 4 month ago. I honestly believe it has something to do with that ( so does our friend) as my partners head and emotion is wel somewhat all over the place. May that's why I still live in hope?

She is messing you around, you're her dummy who she can come back to and mess around and be with sumone else elsewhere, while you suffer. Ditch the biatch.

Sounds like you both have a lot to wrap your heads around here... you had a stroke with lasting effects, and her starting menopause--which serves to make the sanest of women question their existence (and/or purpose in life)...

To me, it sounds like she loves you very much... no woman I know is able to share such physical love without having the emotion to back it up... but it seems, like you mentioned, that she is confused about not having a purpose in life... She seems to desperately need to be needed (which could further explain her devotion to you more so now that you're paralyzed on one side)...

She seems to be saying.. "Here, you stay right where I left you and our relationship, and let me go figure some things out for myself...if I decide this is where I should be, I will come back to us.." Which could also explain why she doesn't want to split up the belongings... and doesn't want to mislead you into believing everything is fine when she kisses on you..

After 18 years together, I can imagine this would be terribly confusing for you both... if you love her enough to give her plenty of breathing room, then go for it... be patient as she tries to find herself, her purpose for the rest of her life...
She seems torn and unable to come to a final decision about the two of you... I wouldn't rush that if you're satisfied with her being there, and you're not upset with her disappearing on the weekends... Let her have her time, and she may come around to seeing you as the patient lover you are...

I think now is not the time for any major decisions to be made, but it would be nice, if you both be nice to each other right now.

Or buy a red sports car, and ride through the mountains of Tennessee, like I did.