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-   -   My Boyfriend won't have sex with me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=229081)

  • Jun 20, 2008, 09:39 PM
    Caligirl81
    My Boyfriend Won't have sex with me
    I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years, we haven't had sex in a year and a half. I know CRAZY! When we first started dating we had a great sex life then everything started to head down hill. I found out he was cheating on me and decided to forgive and forget( can you really ever do that), after the whole cheating thing we continued to have a OK sex life and now there is no sex life. I have confronted him many many many times and he says that he has never had a strong sex drive. Personally I think this excuse doesn't fly cause when he cheated he had a purely sexual relationship. At this point your probably wondering why I am still with him, other than the no sex our relationship is perfect. He is the man I want to marry. I just can't live the rest of my life with no sex... I know your probably thinking that he is cheating on me again but I can honestly say I am 100 percent sure he isn't, I'm not naïve I really know that he isn't cheating on me. I have asked him to go to the Doctor to check his testosterone levels and he brushes me off. I have tried the whole sexy lingerie and seduces him but no luck! What should I do?? :eek:
  • Jun 20, 2008, 09:43 PM
    cookie25
    He is cheating or he is gay and nobody knows.cause no man sleep with a woman in a bed and not get horny... so stop making excuses for him.he cheating or he gay .good luck
  • Jun 20, 2008, 09:45 PM
    plonak
    OK in my opinion I see BIG trouble here.. a relationship is more than just getting along and having a good time, it's about intimacy and connecting emotionally.. How can you have a successful marriage if you don't have those things?

    You need to figure out what's wrong.. or cut your losses. There are obviously some underlining reasons he doesn't want to have sex.. maybe he is taking medication.. or he's really stressed... but the fact that you haven't had sex in 1 1/2 years may not be do to stress.. I suggest that you sit him down and explain your concern and tell him that a relationship simply cannot function without intimacy..
  • Jun 20, 2008, 11:33 PM
    chocopies
    5 year relationship. History of cheating. No sex in the past 1.5 years. You claim he's not cheating. Maybe he's not. Either way, communication is key to any relationshi whether it's with your friend, parent, or boyfriend/girlfriend. Talk to the guy and figure out what's going on.

    Him brushing you off when you are concerned about his health isn't too cool either.
  • Jun 20, 2008, 11:53 PM
    booyah
    He's not the right person for you. No one should have to put up with a sex-less relationship.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 06:06 AM
    Distantlove
    The only way you would 100% know that he is not cheating on you is if you have followed his every footstep, where he goes out without you, what he does in his own time.. for all of these you have been there? Probably not, but if so, then that is worrying.
    But anyhow.. he has a history of cheating, he doesn't want to check he testosterone levels (why? Because you may find that they are actually quite high?) to be honest, it doesn't look good. He may not be cheating, it might just be him and how he's feeling, but either way, it doesn't look good. All I'm saying is just be prepared, this doesn't mean you are going to find out something you didn't know, but don't lay all your trust into him or you may get really hurt. Be open-minded about it. Expect the worst and that way you won't be as shocked if it was bad, or you might be pleased to find out otherwise, and that way you can work on things. Have a chat with it. It's the only way you can solve things.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 06:21 AM
    talaniman
    Since you can't talk to each other, you don't know what's on his mind. That's where the focus should be, on a lack of communications, and after 5 years you should have formed some sort of talking, and listening between you. The fact you haven't, is worrisome more than the lack of sex.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 11:12 AM
    sweety
    He's cheating on you and you aren't accepting it. He's fooling you.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 11:33 AM
    RedneckMama
    Exactly WHY is it that you'd like to marry him?
  • Jun 21, 2008, 11:49 AM
    kimdeelee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Caligirl81
    I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years, we haven't had sex in a year and a half. I know CRAZY! When we first started dating we had a great sex life then everything started to head down hill. I found out he was cheating on me and decided to forgive and forget( can you really ever do that), after the whole cheating thing we continued to have a ok sex life and now there is no sex life. I have confronted him many many many times and he says that he has never had a strong sex drive. personally I think this excuse doesnt fly cause when he cheated he had a purely sexual relationship. At this point your probably wondering why i am still with him, other than the no sex our relationship is perfect. He is the man I want to marry. I just can't live the rest of my life with no sex....I know your probably thinking that he is cheating on me again but I can honestly say I am 100 percent sure he isnt, im not naive I really know that he isnt cheating on me. I have asked him to go to the Doctor to check his testosterone levels and he brushes me off. I have tried the whole sexy lingerie and seduces him but no luck! What should I do???????????:eek:

    I think he maybe cheating or he has a std
  • Jun 21, 2008, 01:47 PM
    confused1145
    Something big is going on. The two of you need to really discuss this one.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 02:12 PM
    lovetko69
    Do something exciting... like going out to a restaurant and suck on his cock under the table.don't say anything for the rest of the night.u will see that he will talk then.bye now.

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