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-   -   Not sure if I should tell (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=228693)

  • Jun 19, 2008, 05:09 PM
    confused1145
    Not sure if I should tell
    Ok, I need some major advice. I have been dealing with so much lately over my ex. I am 11 weeks pregnant by a man who can't seem to make up his mind if he wants to be with me or not and he suffers from manic depressioon. I am really close to his mom and we talk pretty often. My ex refuses to tell any of his family that I am pregnant. He says that no one needs to know now. My question is, should I tell his mom myself? I hate keeping this a secret and I don't think he's even considering saying anything to anyone. I'm going to be really showing very soon. Someone please help!
  • Jun 19, 2008, 05:41 PM
    ylaira
    Dont tell his mother. They will know about ur pregnancy anyway. Someone will see u having a bump somewhere and tell any of the family members. Why ur ex wouldn't want his parents to know that ur pregnant?Maybe he just dont want "pressure" from his family since ur close with his mother. He's ur ex now, and sounds like he doesnt have a plan to be with you, make urself productive. Quit worrying on something that will be "broadcasted" at any minute. Take care urself. Think of the baby's health while in ur womb, not ur ex.
  • Jun 19, 2008, 05:51 PM
    confused1145
    See my ex and I just broke up the other week. He wants his mom to think we are still together for some reason. Him and I decided to stay friends. His mom just asked me if we were being safe an I felt obligated to say yes. Now I feel bad about lying.
  • Jun 19, 2008, 05:55 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I will go the other way, being pregnant is not a secret, everyone is going to know in a few months and the mother could feel hurt and angry you did not care enough to tell her. Esp if you and the son are not a couple any longer, why should you care what he thinks. I believe if you wait and let her hear it from someone else, I would tell him that he has two days to tell his mom or you will. And even being "safe" it still can happen. No need to get into details with mom.
  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:12 PM
    smokedetector
    Well if he's your ex, then you theoretically have a better relationship with his mom than with him. If you view his mom as a friend, then there is no reason why you should not tell her. He won't say anything, but he isn't your boyfriend anymore and you don't owe anything to him. In other words, since he is your ex, you can now view them as two different relationships rather than your boyfriend and his mom, kind of lumped into one. I say if you want her to know, tell her yourself.
  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:17 PM
    ylaira
    Just in my opinion, since you and your ex are not couple any longer, its the mother and son's business anymore. If his mother will find out and ask why it was not informed to her, then who's original idea is it?Ur Bf maybe confused as of this time and avoids too much "pressure" of unplanned fatherhood. How old were both of you why his mother is so important in this picture? This is personal matter. Mother may feel hurt that a secret was kept from her but sure she will understand HER SON.
  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:17 PM
    talaniman
    Tell her, and for whatever reason the ex has for this absurd need for secrecy its you who will suffer.
  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:22 PM
    liz28
    I told my daughter father mom when I was pregnant when I was with our daughter. Me and his mom had a close relationship and it seems he was dragging on telling her, I was like what's the big secret. I spilled the beans and she was not disappointed or mad, but I was not afraid to tell her because of the relationship we had. Till this day we get along well even though me her son is not together and is a great grandma and her son is a great father to our daughter who will be turing 10 this year.

    Your ex might not be thinking straight since he suffer from manic depression aka bipolar disorder. If you have that bond with his mother tell her, unless you want to wait until you start to show. Do what you feel is right. Good Luck and Congradulation, when your due date?
  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:31 PM
    ylaira
    There must be a reason why ur BF wants to keep ur pregnancy as a secret. Tell him to tell his mom that he got u pregnant. They may have issues that u don't know. Give him time and if he won't do it, thats until then you can confess urself, since it sounds like his mother is very important to you.

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