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-   -   Not sure how to deal with all this (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=228503)

  • Jun 19, 2008, 07:52 AM
    confused1145
    Not sure how to deal with all this
    I am about 11 weeks pregnant. I am currently living back at home until my new house is completed. The man that I'm pregnant by can't seem to make up his mind if he wants to be with me or not. He changes his mind daily, which is due to manic depression and past hurts. Everyone is constantly pushing abortion on me. There's not too many people that actually accepts this pregnancy. I think the father even wants me to have one just by the way he acts, but doesn't come right out and say it. He hasn't told anyone in his family about me being pregnant and we've know since I was 4 weeks. I'm so fed up with this whole situation. Please help me understand this a little better!
  • Jun 19, 2008, 08:27 AM
    smokedetector
    Well obviously we can only give our opinions, and some people will tell you abortions OK and others will not. In the end, you have to decide, so my first piece of advice is to do what you think is right, regardless of what everyone else wants you to do. Take advice, but don't make your decision based on what other people want. Know that whether you choose abortion, adoption, or keep the baby, there will be consiquences, good and bad, so make a decision that you can live with yourself after making.

    That being said, my advice is to keep the baby. If you can feed yourself and your baby, and don't have any drug addiction that you don't plan on kicking, and if you think you can give the baby a decent life, there is nothing to keep you from keeping your child. There are single mothers, and while I'm not saying it won't be hard, you don't need that guy to help you raise your child. Children learn from their parents, and unless you want your child to be as flakey as this guy, the it might be a good thing if he chooses not to be with you.

    If you feel you can't provide an adequate life for your child, adoption could be an answer. You would carry the baby to term and then hand it over to a family that wants and can care for a child. It would be hard to let go once you have been with your child for 9 months, so you need to make sure of your decision before you choose a family to raise your child. While some people have a hard time living with themselves after giving up their child, if you truly believe you have made the best decision for your child, it should be a bit easier to live with.

    Abortion is not something I personally agree with, except in extreme cases such as rape, and if you care for more of my opinion on that, you can message me, but for the purpose of this post, we'll leave it at that. However, since it is legal, it is still an option you have. Some women have the same regrets after aborting as women who choose adoption, but again, if you think this is honestly the best choice for your baby, then that is up to you.

    Whatever you choose, your first priorities should be yourself and your baby, as you are the two primarily effected by your decision, and everyone else should be second. If you want more information on all of your options, you should find some articles, blogs, and/or message boards about pregnancy and your options. Stay true to yourself, and I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.

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