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-   -   How to deal with others (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=228490)

  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:19 AM
    dolly100
    How to deal with others
    Think I am very nice. But I do not want to show my feelings to others
    Because I don't want to be weak or stupid
    Sometimes I feel insid of me is a nicer than outside
    Atsel how to be frank with others without hurt them as How to be nice bto others witout becoming stupid or weak
  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:40 AM
    Credendovidis
    Why do you think that showing your feelings makes you weak or stupid to other people?
    Ever thought about that?

    :)
  • Jun 19, 2008, 06:44 AM
    N0help4u
    Basically only tell people as much information as you want them to know (need to know bases). You feel stupid because then they use your feelings and your kindness to manipulate and walk all over you.
    Don't pour your heart out to everybody
    AND be firm
    When somebody asks can you drive me to the mall and you don't want to
    Just say a firm NO. When you start giving people reasons then they start looking for ways you can get around your reasons so you CAN tell them okay.
    Example: When my kids were little people would ask me to take them to the mall
    I would say No. They would beg. I would keep telling them no until I got to the point that
    I would explain I am cooking dinner, doing laundry, helping my kids with homework, then I have to make sure they get their baths and have something to wear to school in the am.
    That left the door open for them to say well I will help you with everything and of course they wanted to go to the store first and didn't help anyway.
    When people ask you to do something make sure you WANT to help them if you don't you have to be firm about it. If you feel like you are a doormat if you do something, don't do it
    I have also found that when you say no and they have claimed there was nobody else to help them they always managed to find somebody else anyway.
  • Jun 19, 2008, 08:33 AM
    dolly100
    Hi credendovidis
    Because I think its very shy to tell someone (people) how I feel about them. And its a weakness to let them take control, manipulate
    I mean I want my head rule my heart
  • Jun 19, 2008, 08:49 AM
    pumpkin_cat
    I don't think you should ever be afraid to show your feelings. I haven't ever considered someone who shows their feelings to be weak or stupid. I've always wanted to be like them because they seem outgoing. I'm JEALOUS of those kinds of people. And being nice is never a bad thing!
  • Jun 19, 2008, 09:33 AM
    dolly100
    Pumpkin .I have been exposed to several of cheating and deception

    I Even was On the verge of being kidnapped
    I do not want anyone to deceive me
    I do not want anyone to manipulate me
    But at the same time I want to be as I am
    I don't want Hide or be bogus
    I want to show my feelings so that people can know who I'm
  • Jun 19, 2008, 10:01 AM
    N0help4u
    It takes years of discerning and separating your heart from your reasoning
    And knowing which one to follow when.
    I have been through ALL that too and much more and then some.
    Some times it is better to follow your heart and sometimes it is better to follow your reasoning. Mainly you need to start by cutting out all the distractions and pre conditioned thinking. Then you need to ask yourself questions like do they need to know my life history or that I do not like perfectionist people or that I do like all people or whatever.
    Be more of an observer and introspect things.
    Learn something valuable to keep as a life lesson in every situation good or bad.
    Be in control of what you do and say and react to people yet be free in your spirit to live and love and be yourself. I am finally arriving at that point and yet feel I still have a long way to go.

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