I am started to like a girl I've been "seeing" for a short time and I am wondering how to show I am not just in it for friends, but also don't want to act too pushy with anything.

I met this girl through a business networking event where she immediately bought me a drink, gave me her business card, and acted flirty with me for our conversation. A month later, I worked up the guts to give her a call to ask her to do some "business networking."
* We met up for our "networking" dinner at a bar. Things went well, we got to know each other.
* The next week we went out for drinks, she seemed fairly intent with getting me drunk, near the end I asked her what bar we were going to next, she replied with her place for a movie and she initiated some very slight cuddling & kiss on the cheek.
* The next week, we got together for a movie at her place, things went well, but no physical contact other than hug at end of night.
* Last night we got together, I brought her some dinner + bottle of wine. She seemed impressed, but was tired from working late. All I could do was to work up the guts to give her a kiss on the forehead(I wish I had tried lips) before I left.

I initiate contact almost every time and ask her to get together every time (she always promptly returns my texts, calls etc... ) I do get some faint, fairly flirty signals that she likes me when we are sitting on the couch. Ie positioning herself closer to me, I catch some mild stares etc...

She will be out of town this weekend for a wedding. How do I go about making it clear that I like her without acting overly anxious? Should I wait for next week to organize another relaxing night like I've been doing and try to make some move then? Is it OK to send her a text today letting her know that I had fun with her last night and hope we can do it again and that she can call me on her trip? Or should I actually ask her out and use the term "date?" Any tips would be helpful. I'd also like help knowing if it seems like she is interested or not and anything else I can do.

After reading so much about heartache on this site, it's wonderful to hear from someone in your position. Where do I sit on the couch to let her know? What will she think if I send her a text? Will it be too much? What did it mean when she looked at me in that way? Butterflies in the stomach at all Brian?

I think you've been an absolute gentlemen about all this. I don't doubt she's charmed by you in some sense. Whether she's sending signs or you're just seeing them because you want to, well, who can tell? It's impossible to call from outside the situation... and often from inside too, as you're finding out.

I can't think that sending her a text saying you had fun would be a bad idea. Taking the conversation away from business like that will let you know a few things I reckon. See how she responds, take it from there.

You clearly like her. She probably sees that. I'm presuming that the last few movies and dinners were just the two of you? Maybe that tells you something?

At the end of the day though, it's got to be your call. Best of luck buddy.

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Originally Posted by nethy

I can't think that sending her a text saying you had fun would be a bad idea. Taking the conversation away from business like that will let you know a few things I reckon. See how she responds, take it from there.

You clearly like her. She probably sees that. I'm presuming that the last few movies and dinners were just the two of you? Maybe that tells you something?

At the end of the day though, it's got to be your call. Best of luck buddy.

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Thanks for the advice. We don't really talk about business anymore really, so we are not on that level at all. It is now basically just two people hanging out together. Yes, the last few times we've hung out has just been us. I believe she clearly liked me from our 1st 2 meetings, and nothing has happened to change that recently, but it's just that, nothing has happened/

Keep it simple. Have a good time, as you both get to know each other and get comfortable. Be attentive, alert, and always the gentle man. There is no need to spill your innermost guts at this time, as its much to soon. Give you both a chance to get close naturally and if it continues to go well, then you can evaluate the relationship together.

Move to fast, and give to much, to soon, you crash and burn, as there is no hurry for anything, but a great time at this point. Give it 6 months. Be patient till then.

Let things go as they have been going. Why rush it? You are enjoying it now, so take it slow and see where it goes. No doubt things will continue nicely, and if they don't you will have no regrets as you haven't made any 'leaps of faith'.

Thanks for the advice. Do you think I've done enough to show that I have "interest"? So from what you are both saying, I assume you believe it would be best to only contact her again next week and try to set up a time to hang out together like we have been doing? And to just keep being the gentleman for now.

You are both right, it is not right to rush into anything and time is our best friend.


Would it be too forward if I just said something like "Thanks for having me over last night, I always enjoy spending time with you and hope we can do it again. Give me a call this weekend if you're board while driving" or even anything along the lines of "Hopefully next week I'll have the guts to ask you out on an actual date."

Just helpful to think out loud and get help in this "dating" thing

I'm probably not your best resource for dating advice, as I haven't started a relationship in 4 years, but I don't see any harm in being nice and telling her that you enjoyed the weekend.

What you need to be careful of is getting too into the relationship while she is taking it slow. Once you become over-invested, it is game over. Make sure you aren't rushing forward and putting too much into something that doesn't really "exist" yet...

Hi Brian,

Welcome! I would say a text would be fine. Being a woman, after being on a few get togethers with someone, I know I would be so happy and feel so good by getting a text like that :) . I would keep it short and sweet: 'Thank you for having me over last night, I had a great time. I would like to do this again soon". You are keeping it light, but letting her know you are interested, subtly.
Good Luck!

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"Thanks for having me over last night, I always enjoy spending time with you and hope we can do it again. Give me a call this weekend if you're board while driving" or even anything along the lines of "Hopefully next week I'll have the guts to ask you out on an actual date."

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"Thanks for having me over last night, I always enjoy spending time with you and hope we can do it again. Give me a call this weekend if you're board while driving" or even anything along the lines of " or even anything along the lines of " Can I call you in a few days?

If she says yes, make sure you call. That's it!

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Originally Posted by talaniman

"Thanks for having me over last night, I always enjoy spending time with you and hope we can do it again. Give me a call this weekend if you're board while driving" or even anything along the lines of "Hopefully next week I'll have the guts to ask you out on an actual date." Can I call you in a few days?

If she says yes, make sure you call. Thats it!!

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Great advice from everyone. I think I am just so nervous around her because I am seeing how much we have in common/what a good person she is.

How's this?

"Thanks for having me over last night, I've always enjoyed spending time with you and I hope we can do it again. Do you mind if I give you a call Sunday to see how the wedding went? Take care"



IDK if this is a sign, but my boss just walked in here and gave me a voucher for $100 towards a meal as an appreciation award. Hopefully I can use this on a date of ours sometime and take her out someplace nice (she won't know about the voucher, I get reimbursed after dinner)

I sent this message "Thanks for having me over last night, I always enjoy spending time with you and hope we can do it again soon."

No response to that, not good.

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Originally Posted by brian1231

I sent this message "Thanks for having me over last night, I always enjoy spending time with you and hope we can do it again soon."

No response to that, not good.

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Hi Brian,

That was great! Not to worry though. She may be busy and not had a chance to respond. Give it a day or two, and see what happens. Keep us posted! :)

What you think she sits and waits to answer your text? Going about your own business and keeping your life balanced is essential. Don't be discouraged give it time.

Thanks for the advice star and talaniman. It's been about a day, and there has been no response, but you are both right. I need to focus on other things, which I am going to try to do.

I don't want to seem too pushy, but what if I give her a call sun when she is driving back from the wedding to just chat/see how everything went for her, and then said something along the lines of "I enjoy spending time watching movies at your place with you, but would you like it if I asked you out on a 'real' date this Saturday night?"

IDK, I don't want to seem too pushy at all, but after a few times hanging out and her showing interest initially, this isn't too forward is it?

I had overlooked the wedding, and that my friend, is when females are super busy getting hair , clothes, shoes, and a bunch of girl stuff together. Knowing she is really busy, I would wait until this is over, and then see what's up. You've already sent a message, give it time to bear fruit, patients!

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I had overlooked the wedding, and that my friend, is when females are super busy getting hair , clothes, shoes, and a bunch of girl stuff together. Knowing she is really busy, I would wait until this is over, and then see whats up. You've already sent a message, give it time to bear fruit, patients!

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Agreed, I think I am reading too much into this. I get conflicting advice from people. Many of my friends say that I should have acted faster when she was sending me her signals. They think I've sent "friendzone signals" to her. I can kind of see how, I didn't take any initiative when she sent me signals initially, and whenever we do things like watch a movie and she offers to share the blanket with me, I usually end up wrapping her up in it to keep her warmer. (I know I'm lame)

They believe I should ask her out and use the word "date" to let her know at least my faint and other says I should just keep things casual and get to know her. I

You always have great advice tal, what would your next steps be?

Hi Brian,

Tal is right. I would wait until she gets back, and see if she responds. If not, then at that point, perhaps you can call her. But I wouldn't do anything right now.

Kissing isn't a "friendzone" signal :)

Calm down, go with the flow.

Doing everything I could think of, to not think about her so much.

Very good advice. If I seem needy, I am going to only drive her away more. I guess I am just one of those guys who doesn't know the fine line between showing interest and being needy :)