It's my first time to have a very persistent suitor. He already has a girlfriend who's about to have their baby. But then he kept insisting he loves me and wants to marry me. I don't feel love for him and I told him that many times and that I only care as a friend. He insists that I must feel something special for him as well because I welcome him to our humble apartment even during wee hours. He gives his girl a ride to work at 3 a.m. since his work starts from 6 am to 3 pm, he would hang out with me to pass the time. His workplace, his girl's workplace and my apartment are close and their house is quite far.

That's my main reason for accepting him as a visitor. However, it means different to him. Also I always reply to his messages. He might be getting the wrong idea from those acts of kindness (?).

Is it just right for me not to reply to his messages anymore? Not having him as a visitor during wee hours is reasonable enough for me.

What else can I do to have him stop?

Just say, "I don't love you. Understand?" And then stop inviting him over in the wee hours. And stop replying to his messages. He'll understand soon enough.

So what chihuahuamomma mean is to be cruel...

Well in my way..,. I would just sit down and talk to him straight up wit him.. and if he keep resist like that told him that " if you keep going like this , it might ruin our friendship...^^ we can't be together but dont make it we can't even be friends ^^"

Be nice yet be cruel

THINK ABOUT IT

thanks guys. I really appreciate your help. ^_^

lol.. no problem.. hope it can helps...

but if sometime you can't avoiding hurting someone... but if the only way.. you have to.. hurt someone somehow..

so if that comes ? Hurt them better than hurt ourself ^^/... now that is CRUEL but CLEVER

Only you know if being just friends will work. I don't know either of you but from your description of his status and actions, I personally don't think it will work.
Sounds like he has responsibilities at home and that is your perfect reason for making a clean break, that you are not going to get involved in family matters and you don't want the mother of his child to suspect something. If he says he is leaving that relationship tell him you still don't want involvement in his family matters.
Friendship to him just means he still has an opportunity to take it to another level.
I could be wrong but I don't think he is searching for a friend.

Don't help him cheat on his girlfriend, a pregnant one at that. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. You deserve more and he not someone who should be at your house wee hours at night send him home. Have one talk with him and then leave him alone. Avoid calls and texts.

Whoops liz28--make that agrees!

If you REALLY want a guy to get the message, start every conversation with, "Oh great it's you...Can you give me some money?" Every conversation. If he says yes, take as much as he will give you. Donate it if you feel bad. Ask for twice as much next time.

Never borrow money, by the way, ask for it free and clear. Hehe.

Quote:

---

is it just right for me not to reply to his messages anymore?

---

Its absolutely the right thing to do in light of his taking your kindness as an opening to cheat on his pregnant girlfriend.

Quote:

---

not having him as a visitor during wee hours is reasonable enough for me.

---

Never should have started that BS!

Quote:

---

what else can I do to have him stop?

---

Make him respect you by cutting him from your life and if he persists, let him know that you will speak to his PREGNANT girlfriend, and she if she can stop his disrespect.

I was just wondering if his girlfriend knows that he is hanging out with another chick in the middle of the night... does she approve of this?

Hi ChihuahuaMomma.

No she didn't know. I followed your advice and didn't reply to his message until he assumed I was mad at him but I treated him kind in person. It was like he was judging me that I was being plastic.

I replied that I wasn't mad I just didn't want him to expect for anything more. Then he told me never to text him again. He thanked me anyway for the attention I gave him.

I didn't text back. I was tempted to because it's like he only turned the table. He made it look like he's the one who broke it off. But then what the heck, right? It's over and done with. Whew!

Thanks again people!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

If you REALLY want a guy to get the message, start every conversation with, "Oh great it's you...Can you give me some money?" Every conversation. If he says yes, take as much as he will give you. Donate it if you feel bad. Ask for twice as much next time.

Never borrow money, by the way, ask for it free and clear. Hehe.

---

Wow. I wanted to do that. That's another option. I'll think about it if this thing happens again, OK? Hahaha. Thanks.

Well congrats and good job!!