Ask Me Help Desk - Should I give up?

I am dating with this guy in two months, I met him on one of the dating website. We were both attracted to each other and I feel I like him more than he does. We had good times when we were together. However, here are couple things that bothers me.

At our first date, I learned he just ended up one long term relationship at few months ago, he mentioned he is not so sure he is ready for a new relationship yet or not. I get surprised and want to quit , but after third date which after we kissed, he started mention that he is ready to get involve with me... but Things are, He only text me one or two times a day which just say hi or tell me what he is doing.. and sometimes no text, phone call or email at all in days. However, he active on the dating website very often... (only last week he did not act) we only get to see each other once a week, not what I want but his working schedule... on weekend he always go to play golf with his friends, and no time for me, even I ask him first... he always says, let me check with my friends to see that they have golf plans or not... :mad:

Couple days ago, after we ended up on my bed, I asked him what he feels about me, he told me that he feels so relaxed when he with me, he said he is kind of person very intensity, but with me he feels he is different... however, he still holds on and afraid to get deeper with me (this part is what I guess from our talk, not he said) He never says he likes me or loves me... and I am not so sure what should I do, should I give him more time... or should I move on to find someone who is ready to get in a relationship?

I have very few dating experiences, and really don't know how to do on the dating... please help...

Keep it at friends until you feel way more comfortable.
IF he is still logging onto the date sites it can mean he is keeping you on the back burner while he is checking his options. If he is on them regular he is very likely talking in the chats which usually indicate that he could be a player.

He has a full life. You are a new dating endeavor. His existing life will take precedence over you for many more months.

When he says he's ready to get involved with you after kissing you, that's a sexual response. Don't read too much into that. Normal for guys.

His lack of obsession with texting and online stuff is also good. Passing notes back and forth all day is actually clingy teenage behavior. Busy, active adults with full lives of their own don't need that much communication on a normal day. Plus, you have more to talk about when you do see each other. Don't fret the electronics.

You two are dating. Relax. Make sure he's aware of your interest level and you are aware of his. Respect each other's position.

If he's moving at the pace you need, keep working. If not, communicate your desires, if nothing changes (it won't), then time to call it quits and move on to the next lucky contestant.

No stress needed here.

JBeaucaire is amazing... and right.

Nothing is set in stone, you guys haven't committed yet. You two are dating, its like you're test driving a car and you're not sure if you want to take it home yet. A lot of people are skeptical about the dating sites too, so that may have something to do with him not going full force into a relationship too. You never know because you're not him.

You should be thankful that he has a life outside of dating, and texting you, and calling you, and hanging out. That means he's well balanced. And no one wants a man that is clingy. Trust me.

Just play it cool. Don't text him first, don't call him first, let him make all the moves so that he sees that you're not desperate. He'll appreciate you more if the ball is in his court at first.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Needhelpconfuse

I am dating with this guy in two months, I met him on one of the dating website. we were both attracted to each other and i feel i like him more than he does. we had good times when we were together. However, here are couple things that bothers me.

At our first date, i learned he just ended up one long term relationship at few months ago, he mentioned he is not so sure he is ready for a new relationship yet or not. I get surprised and want to quit , but after third date which after we kissed, he started mention that he is ready to get involve with me...but Things are, He only text me one or two times a day which just say hi or tell me what he is doing.. and sometimes no text, phone call or email at all in days. however, he active on the dating website very often...(only last week he did not act) we only get to see each other once a week, not what i want but his working schedule... on weekend he always go to play golf with his friends, and no time for me, even i ask him first...he always says, let me check with my friends to see that they have golf plans or not...:mad:

couple days ago, after we ended up on my bed, i asked him what he feels about me, he told me that he feels so relaxed when he with me, he said he is kind of person very intensity, but with me he feels he is different...however, he still holds on and afraid to get deeper with me (this part is what i guess from our talk, not he said) He never says he likes me or loves me...and i am not so sure what should i do, should I give him more time...or should i move on to find someone who is ready to get in a relationship?

I have very few dating experiences, and really don't know how to do on the dating...please help...

Take a step back. He seems like he is enjoying getting to know you, but at the same time is in no rush for a serious relationship. He is playing the dating game with you. You aren't the only thing in his life right now so that's why he doesn't call every day etc. I don't think you should have asked him how he felt about you, because a man will open up about that usually when he feels it. Take your time with him, and date other guys. Don't always be so available. Rememeber that men love to chase, when the chase is gone, they get bored. You have to rememeber that! Go with the flow, maybe suggest something that you've been wanting to do (in general) and see if he picks up on it and says something like " we should do it" or whatever. Give it another month, and see how things progress.

Thank you for those advices... they are all very helpful... I will try to step back little bit and see how's things going... will update...

Forget to say, once he was complained that I never call him to ask him out. He said he should not be the only one to keep asking me out, sometime I should call or ask him out... that makes me confuse too... anyway, after I tried to ask him out on that weekend after our conversation, he told me that he has this golf plan... :confused: no idea what he thinks about... feel he is afraid to get involve or deeper... anyway, we will see...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Needhelpconfuse

forget to say, once he was complained that i never call him to ask him out. He said he should not be the only one to keep asking me out, sometime i should call or ask him out....that makes me confuse too...anyway, after i tried to ask him out on that weekend after our conversation, he told me that he has this golf plan....:confused: no idea what he thinks about....feel he is afraid to get involve or deeper...anyway, we will see...

Try not to read more into his statements then there is. You asked him out, he already had plans with friends... it's as simple as that. If you had plans set with some of your friends, and he asked you out, would you drop your plans? I would hope not. Maybe ask him out again for a future date... or ask him when he is free because you would like to take him out and spend sometime with him.
He may not be ready to get more involved, which is fair enough considering he just recently ended another relationship. It sounds like he has been conveying just that. Keep it light and fun... let it progress naturally. Push too hard, when you have strong indications that he isn't ready or interested in that just yet, and you may just push him away.