Originally Posted by Raven2008
Hello Board,
I decided to turn to a forum since I used this method before for other issues.
I am recently married (3 weeks). I am 51 and my husband is 54. The original wedding date is next month and since we made plans for this date (photographer, honeymoon, dress) we are getting married again in a month, but did so sooner since he got ill and had no health insurance. I was previous married 3 times, the last time to an alcoholic who turned into a cocaine user. I eventually divorced him after a year of trying to change him and realized that wasn't going to happen. I met a guy via internet and we started dating. Everything was good and he was different than anyone else I dated. This guy was funny, smart and educated. After 3 months of dating my "now" husband, I had to go to court to resolve some issues with the "X". The court told my "X" that he could live in the house with me. When I heard that I freaked and my attorney made the agreement that he would live there and relinquish me from paying for the house and that the "X" would buy me out. I then was left with the mission to move. The "X" was moving in within 2 days. I had no place to go, no money and my credit was ruined because he had a repo which was under my name. My "now" husband told me that I could move in with him, but not with my daughter who was 15 at the time. I spoke to her dad and he agreed to take her. When I moved I could only take one of my three dogs. My daughter was able to take one to her dad's home and I had to leave one with the "X". I moved in to my new location and was given a bedroom. My "now" husband decided when I moved in it would be better to sleep apart since he could not sleep and I had to get up in the morning for work. He also accused me of having orgasims in my sleep! Of course this never happened while we were dating. When we have sex he comes in my room and leaves me after we were done. I am not trying to make him sound horrible. He doesn't leave immediately but after a while. My husband also has some medical problems and has never had an orgasim with me. I dealt with the situation as best I could. My daughter comes over every other weekend but can only stay one night...those are the rules. She can't sleep in the bed with me and I have to send her to the other bedroom which is a mother-in law quarters. My husband is nice to her but very detached. My husband was married once at 40 and divorced at 47. He married his friends wife. His x wife had a child around 9 at the time he married her. I know my husband has issues 'cause he brings up BS about his X"s child and to me it seems he was very jealous of the little girl. Anyway, I try and deal with all this and I know that I am not able to tell him anything 'cause he just doesn't want to know. The dog I left with the X husband got pregnant (the "X" has a male dog not neutered) even though I gave him money to spay her. I was able to get the pups from the "X" as the living conditions were horrible. My daughter and I were able to give them to good homes. My husband has no idea about this. Apparently the "X" is still on drugs and my old home is destroyed. Now the home is in foreclosure.
The other day I was riding in my "now" husbands vehicle. When he opened the center console I saw an e-mail with his x wifes name on it. I didn't say anything until the next day. When I got home he wasn't talking to me. I put it out on the table and he said I was being ridiculous and he already told me he does not want the past brought up. All I did was ask a question as to what it was and does he still talk to her. I got the paper out of the car and yes he was innocent. The paper had directions on it which he kept. I wanted to talk to him because I didn't think asking a question was wrong. The X told me to "get lost". I gave him his space and after a while I went in his bedroom. I opened the door to his bedroom since he had it closed and he asked "what do you want". I closed the door and cried all night in my room. I can't talk to him about anything. Everything in life has to be cut and dry with him. I have had a horrible life. I know what it is to be on the bottom, to be poor and to struggle. His life has been so different, although his business (he works from home) is not doing well and he is running out of money. Then there is the issue of finances. I give him 700 a month, pay for his health insurance of 400 a month and buy food which runs around 500 a month. I take home 2800 a month and have bills to pay in addition to paying for my daughter's horse who I refuse to give up. I had a truck and he told me to get rid of it and have it repo'd. I gave the truck (leased) to my son who is paying for it. He leased me a smaller vehicle in his name. I am not allow to wear anything sexy or wear a dress to work. Am I the one who is wrong?:confused: