I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years. He's never seemed like a very sexual person and it always seemed like I was the one initiating sex. In the beginning we had sex a lot and then after a while like any other relationship it came down to if anything twice a week. Now even though I said that he was never a sexual person he still seems to have a really big problem with porn. Now I understand why guys watch it and why sometimes he would watch it, but now it's getting ridiculous. It's like I can't remember the last time he actually wanted me or found me attractive. And it seems he wants to watch porn more than have sex with me and it's really hurting. I am a very physical person and I love feeling sexually and physically connected. Now I realized recently the porn problem is getting worse. We hardly ever have sex anymore and if we do it seems like it's forced. And I know when he has watched porn because he kind of acts funny and well I just know because it bothers me. Then last night I was trying to come on to him and get him aroused and he literally got mad at me and started saying that I want sex too much and it seems like the last six months I have been trying to have sex with him too much, I really didn't understand this. I started crying and went to our bedroom then he came in and started apologizing. At that moment I knew he only yelled at me because he had watched porn that day and probably felt guilty. And I confronted him and finally after a while he admitted it. He started saying he was sorry and doesn't know what's wrong with him and he should get help. Now I don't know what to do, this is the final straw for me, if it doesn't stop should I leave him over this? Or am I overreacting?

He said he should get help. Hold him to that "promise" (go together for counseling?) and see what happens.

It could be that when you would like to have sex and your boyfriend act funny as though he does not want to may be because that he has been watching porn and has just made himself and has no desire for sex at the present time. So maybe you should learn to watch the porn with him or know when he is watching porn and time it so that you can ask him to have sex while he is watching porn but before he has made himself .

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Originally Posted by letmetellu

It could be that when you would like to have sex and your boyfriend act funny as though he does not want to may be because that he has been watching porn and has just made himself and has no desire for sex at the present time. So maybe you should learn to watch the porn with him or know when he is watching porn and time it so that you can ask him to have sex while he is watching porn but before he has made himself .

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A word was edited out but the meaning is to get himself off.

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he was sorry and doesn't know what's wrong with him and he should get help.

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That is a very good course of action on his part.

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this is the final straw for me, if it doesn't stop should I leave him over this? Or am I overreacting?

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If he doesn't keep his word and seek some help, its time to go. No you are not overreacting. Forget the porn or the non existent sex, his behavior is not to be tolerated, nor is his failure to communicate, or his not being willing to work with you to solve these issues.
Stick to your convictions. Now you know what to do.

I read an interesting article about pornography this week, and it was very enlightening.

To make a long story short, and I agree totally with one of the observations in the piece. A woman has to be aware that a man has a porn addiction when *PORN ITSELF HAS BECOME THE OBJECT OF DESIRE*... That is what has happened to your boyfriend. He doesn't desire you; he desires porn.

Treating addiction can be a long process, with no guarantee of success even assuming the client is willing and dedicated to overcoming his addiction. A porn addict is damaged goods just like an alcoholic.

You have to ask yourself if you want to waste a part of your life with no guarantee of success and him probably not being worth it. Life is short, move on.

He is addicted to porn. It happens to many boys & men =/