Hi.im 26 years old married women and have 1 kid.im in a big problem.9 months back I met a guy online.1st he was just a good friend but then with time I got very attached with him.we started talking on ph.I live in usa and he lives in Pakistan.he is engaged and getting married after 4 months,but he keeps on telling me that he loves me more than anything.from the last few months I also feel that I can't live without him.im badly involved with him.on the other hand I'm very happy with my husband and have no problems with him.I sometimes feel so guilty that I'm cheating him and I'm not sincere with him.when I think of leaving my boyfriend I just get so sad even with the thought of it.I think that I will miss him more than anything and that I can't live without him.:(
He also says that no matter what he will never leave me.but I don't kow if he is just passing time with me or is really seroius.what should I do? please help me.should I leave the guy (which is very very difficult for me)or should I stay with him? :confused:

Leave him.
Put your family first. You have a kid, and a loving husband. Don't let a guy on the other side of the world take that away from you.
And you can live without him. You lived before him, and you can live after him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jrsg

Leave him.
Put your family first. You have a kid, and a loving husband. Don't let a guy on the other side of the world take that away from you.
And you can live without him. You lived before him, and you can live after him.

---

Exactly, are you willing to leave a good marriage and family for an online relationship? Do you actually believe you to will end up together in the same place? Have you even met this man in person? Stop talking to this guy and be happy with what you got. Your family deserves better. Frankly, I think that if you did leave your family for him you would find that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

Tried to give you some green on this one jr but the site wouldn't let me.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

tried to give you some green on this one jr but the site wouldn't let me.

---

Lol, that's fine... I guess you have to "spread a little rep"," huh?

Jrsg is right, you have certain obligations to your family.
As well as that, it's an online relationship. And while these can be genuine, they're not necessarily an accurate portrayal of a person's character. I don't mean that he's lying to you (most people are more honest than we give them credit for), but he doesn't necessarily come across the same way in real life. You'd be sacrificing a lot based on a crush on a man you've never met. Is it worth it?
You've also said that you're happy with your husband. Why put that at risk?
He's engaged. Even if he isn't in love with the girl, he has an obligation to her.

For the sake of everyone involved, including yourself, I'd advise you to stop flirtatious behaviour with this man. If that's impossible, maybe cutting him out of your life entirely is the best option.

I'd also recommend that you talk to your husband about this. The fact that you're seeking out male friendships like this is possibly an indication that you're lacking communication in your marriage. Have you considered couple counseling?

Kal

Thanks for answering.you have motivated me to stop doing what is wrong.its very difficult for me to leave this guy.I talk to him on ph daily for 2 to 3 hours.sometimes I chat with him.I feel like I've known him since ages.. I know what I'm doing is wrong.its just that I can't make up my mind what to do.its a struggle between mind and heart:(... should I talk to him and tell him that I won't talk to him now or should I just start ingnoring him :(... :confused: .

I'd suggest explaining your situation to him. Be honest, but don't let him talk you out of it. It doesn't sound like you have a future with this guy, so there's no point pretending you do. But to just ignore him seems... cruel.

Do you know how happy you could be in your marriage if you devoted as much time on your husband, and kid, as you do tripping on someone a world away.

Your family deserves better than a distracted airhead, don't you think??