It all started 2 and 1/2 months ago where me an an old friend started talking again, but he had a girlfriend this time, well we started getting close, flirting, talking about the old times and then we decided to meet up, so I went round his house.. and he started telling me about his girlfriend, saying how she's cheated on him but won't admitt it and other things and we got on great! Then he rang me on the night and we spoke for hours. I gave him advice so him and his girlfriend could get back on track and it worked but now we carried on meeting and he made the move and now every time we meet we kiss. So now, he's cheated on his girlfriend. But also, its even worst because I helped them get back togethere and now I've got feelings for him. So anyway, we carrry on meeting and they go bad again. She dumps him and says we need a break. But they still text each other telling each other they love them. I mean, I was round his house and they started texting, I feel like I am the rebound. Am I? He knows I like him again, I told me from quite near the start and basically, he's now saying. "I love my ex, but i like you" So he doesn't want to move on and go out with me in case his ex turns round and says, something like I'm ready to go back out again. Im glad he's honest with me but he told me he's not wastin his time but what if his ex says that in a few days. Then I would have wasted 2 months. I ask people what to do and they say " your a rebound, move on" or "move on" or "Hes using you" and things like that, but when were togethere its perfect. I don't feel used. Im sorry I've took you the long way round this but I didn't no how to explain it. What should I do? If you say wait then okay, because I want too wait for him I love him so much, but its hurting the fact he loves his ex and is waiting for her to say yeah or noo and leaving me there. And if you say move on you need to explain why to try and perswade me so. Because everyone that's said moveon has just made me more unsure they haven't perswaded me.
Thanks xx

You have to follow your guts on this. If you get tired of waiting and you feel like it's consuming you, taking much of your energy, getting you depressed most of the time, then you should let go. When you do decide that you really have to move on with your life tell your close friends about it. It will be easier that way because people's expectations affect our decisions. It would be nice if you're also ready to meet a new guy.

Follow your heart. Love doesn't have to hurt all the time. You deserve a breather.

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Originally Posted by lengkyx

you have to follow your guts on this. if you get tired of waiting and you feel like it's consuming you, taking much of your energy, getting you depressed most of the time, then you should let go. when you do decide that you really have to move on with your life tell your close friends about it. it will be easier that way because people's expectations affect our decisions. it would be nice if you're also ready to meet a new guy.

follow your heart. love doesn't have to hurt all the time. you deserve a breather.

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Thanks. Yeah I would love to meet a new guy but here in redditch there either gay, taken or idiots! Haha xx

SARCASM ALERT - WARNING - SARCASM ALERT (you have been warned)

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Originally Posted by Blondey

I ask people what to do and they say " your a rebound, move on" or "move on" or "Hes using you" and things like that, but when were togethere its perfect. I don't feel used.

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Perfect? Really. You mean if you ignore the fact that he's a cheater, and that he's uninterested in ignoring feelings for other girls, dotes on you for a while, then goes and dotes on someone else... is that what you mean by "perfect"? Really, that's perfect to you?

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What should I do? If you say wait then okay, because I want too wait for him I love him so much, but its hurting the fact he loves his ex and is waiting for her to say yeah or noo and leaving me there. And if you say move on you need to explain why to try and (persuade) me so. Because every(one) that's said move on has just made me more unsure they haven't (persuaded) me.

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Wow, I'm floored.

Your attraction to this guy, regardless of his commitment to you in any way, has got you willing to wait and you want US to persuade you not to do it?

Have you committed some crime, done something so horrible, you don't feel you're worth fighting FOR? You don't realize that YOU are the catch/prize, not him? Your self-esteem has taken such a beating in life that this all sounds perfectly reasonable to you?

Well, it's not. This is sickeningly dis-heartening when I read stuff like this. Relationships that LAST are based on two confident, self-assured, committed people. I'd like to blame this on his lack of commitment, but you're not in any better place, so neither one of you fits the bill right now for a lasting relationship.

So, if you're not going to get into a lasting relationship anytime soon because of your lack of ambition for yourself in your love life, waiting around on this "perfect" guy is as good a way to spend your time as any.

BUT, the day you look in the mirror and finally see that awesome, gung-ho, first choice girl I bet I would see, then you won't need us to persuade you of anything. You'll laugh, and take care of it yourself... and won't understand what you were waiting on in the first place.

That will be a good day.

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And if you say move on you need to explain why to try and persuade me so. Because everyone that's said moveon has just made me more unsure they haven't perswaded me.
Thanks xx

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You should move on because you'll look, and feel like an idiot when he goes back to his ex.
Is that persuasive enough?

How about moving on, and ending a cycle of foolish wishing, and needy behavior.
Persuaded yet.

Stop letting him make an A$$ out of you.

If none of these persuade you then you have more problems than you thought.

Don't wait. You're the 'other girl' to him, his shoulder to cry on perhaps. Your his way of comfort when he can't have the other girl he truly loves. Judging by this, you are the rebound, especially as he's texting his girlfriend, whilst with you, telling her he loves her etc. you want someone who really sees something in you. This may seem 'perfect' to you because you are blinded by your feelings for him, but re-read your post as if you were giving advice to another person, how does it sound to you now? Stop meeting up with him when he wants to talk about his problems, because you'll only develop more feelings for him when he tries it on, not realising that he's only wants affection because he's upset, but nothing more. Trust me, before my current boyfriend, I've gone to another guy in the past for comfort about my ex, to pass my time and to help myself feel better, but had no true feelings for him. He developed feelings for me but I didn't see him in that way at all, I was just trying to forget MY worries. It just made me feel 'cared for'. I never intended it because I was too caught up in my own feelings but he did end up getting hurt. Is this telling you enough not to wait? There are sooooo many fish in the sea, oneday you'll meet someone who really loves you, who wants to be with you and only you, who enjoys listening to your interests and sharing his with you, and most importantly, who isn't a cheater. Remember the saying.. once a cheater always a cheater? You don't want anything to do with someone who has this potential do you? Sometimes its best to go with your head and not your heart.

I know your all right, I just don't want to accept he doesn't love me. I suppose I do need to move on, I just haven't got the courage to do it. There's no one else out there atm, just him. Im still unsure what to do :( I really want to forget him because I get so hurt but I physically can't do it. It hurts too much to no if I walk he proberly won't stop me.

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Originally Posted by Blondey

It all started 2 and 1/2 months ago where me an an old friend started talking again, but he had a girlfriend this time, well we started getting close, flirting, talking about the old times and then we decided to meet up, so i went round his house .. and he started telling me about his gf, saying how shes cheated on him but wont admitt it and other things and we got on great! Then he rang me on the night and we spoke for hours. I gave him advice so him and his gf could get back on track and it worked but now we carried on meeting and he made the move and now every time we meet we kiss. So now, hes cheated on his gf. But also, its even worst because i helped them get back togethere and now ive got feelings for him. So anyways, we carrry on meeting and they go bad again. She dumps him and says we need a break. But they still text each other telling each other they love them. I mean, i was round his house and they started texting, i feel like i am the rebound. Am i? He knows i like him again, i told me from quite near the start and basicaly, he's now saying. "I love my ex, but i like you" So he doesnt want to move on and go out with me incase his ex turns round and says, something like im ready to go back out again. Im glad hes honest with me but he told me hes not wastin his time but what if his ex says that in a few days. then i would have wasted 2 months. I ask people what to do and they say " your a rebound, move on" or "move on" or "Hes using you" and things like that, but when were togethere its perfect. i dont feel used. Im sorry ive took you the long way round this but i didnt no how to explain it. What should i do? If you say wait then okay, because i want too wait for him i love him so much, but its hurting the fact he loves his ex and is waiting for her to say yeah or noo and leaving me there. And if you say move on you need to explain why to try and perswade me so. because every1 thats said moveon has just made me more unsure they havent perswaded me.
Thanks xx

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IGNORE THIS BIT
"Im glad hes honest with me but he told me hes not wastin his time but what if his ex says that in a few days"
IT Doesn't MAKE Sense.
I think its meant to say,
"Im glad hes honest with me but he told me im not wasting my time but what if his ex says she wants to get back with him in a few days, because then ill be wasting my time because he will proberly get back with her"