Ask Me Help Desk - Complicated situation

My son is now 10 yrs old, his father left for work when I was 5 months pregnant and never returned. When my son was born he had my maiden name until he was a month old at which time his grandfather (dad's dad) pressured his father into signing the paper work to have their last name. He did see our son every once in a while but that's been over 8 yrs ago now. His father started paying child support when he was a yr old per a judges order and has continued to pay but doesn't care to have any contact with him. The state orders him to carry insurance on my son and he does but it's a fight to get anything done with it. Every time my son has to go to the doctor or has an emergency we (me & the doctors) have to fight with the insurance company and hunt the father down to get the necessary papers signed and insurance process going. What's the use of having the insurance if we can't use it when needed?? Anyway I would like to get the process started to have his parental rights terminated. I believe he would do this without argument, if I can find him & his family now... Would this be granted in court if he agrees and I agree? Even though he pays childsupport and has insurance on my son it's more of a hindrance then help... I just had an episode today with a $450 doctor bill that the insurance sent the payment to the father (not the doctor) over 2 months ago and of course he didn't send it to the doctor, so now I'm stuck with this bill :mad:

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Originally Posted by tonia1716

My son is now 10 yrs old, his father left for work when I was 5 mths pregnant and never returned. When my son was born he had my maiden name until he was a month old at which time his grandfather (dad's dad) pressured his father into signing the paper work to have their last name. He did see our son every once in a while but that's been over 8 yrs ago now. His father started paying child support when he was a yr old per a judges order and has continued to pay but doesn't care to have any contact with him. The state orders him to carry insurance on my son and he does but it's a fight to get anything done with it. Every time my son has to go to the doctor or has an emergency we (me & the doctors) have to fight with the insurance company and hunt the father down to get the necessary papers signed and insurance process going. What's the use of having the insurance if we can't use it when needed??? Anyways I would like to get the process started to have his parental rights terminated. I believe he would do this without arguement, if I can find him & his family now.... Would this be granted in court if he agrees and I agree? Even though he pays childsupport and has insurance on my son it's more of a hinderance then help... I just had an episode today with a $450 doctor bill that the insurance sent the payment to the father (not the doctor) over 2 mths ago and of course he didn't send it to the doctor, so now I'm stuck with this bill :mad:

It is not all that easy to terminate his rights - nor do I see any point to it. There are lots of posts on the subject here if you search them out - many by State.

So go back to Court, explain the problem, you should have your son's insurance card, ask for reimbursement of what you have paid on your son's behalf that if your ex's responsibility.

You also cannot force him to have contact with your son - but I'm sure you already know that.

If the father agrees to sign him over, then it shouldn't really be a problem. You should consult a lawyer, but I forsee lots of parerwork if you go through with it.

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Originally Posted by smokedetector

If the father agrees to sign him over, then it shouldnt really be a problem. You should consult a lawyer, but i forsee lots of parerwork if you go through with it.

It is not true that the father can simply "sign him over," at least not in any States I know.

This is actually not very complicated. If you browse through the Family Law forum, you will find dozens if not hundreds of very similar posts.

What I don't understand is what you think you will gain by terminating his rights, in the unlikely event it would be granted. That will mean you have to pay the insurance on your own and it may mean cessation of child support. Right now the father is not exercising his parental rights, so what difference would terminating them make.

As far as health insurance, has the father changed jobs a lot? If he hasn't I don't understand the hassle. Once it signs up for insurance listing his son as a covered party, then you should get as medical card for him. There should then be no hassle. I can see a problem if he changes jobs so his coverage changes and he doesn't list your son initially.

Ok I could be wrong about how easy it is, but I know it's possible. When I was adopted they had to get my dad to sign over parental rights, and it seemed easy enough to me then, but I probably didn't know everything that went into it. Of course, it may be different for adoptions or in Texas or even 15 years ago when it happened. In any case, I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do.

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Originally Posted by smokedetector

I know it's possible. When I was adopted they had to get my dad to sign over parental rights, and it seemed easy enough to me then

That IS a different story. Generally a TPR is granted in only two scenarios, to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent is a danger to the child. If the TPR is to allow a stepparent to adopt, then it generally is easy. The bio parent simply signs a relinquishment form and may have to appear in court to affirm that he is voluntarily relinquishing his rights. But the courts will mostly rubber stamp such a scenario.

But the OP didn't say anything about an adoption. She just wanted to sever rights. A court is not likely to grant that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smokedetector

Ok I could be wrong about how easy it is, but I know it's possible. When I was adopted they had to get my dad to sign over parental rights, and it seemed easy enough to me then, but I probably didnt know everything that went into it. Of course, it may be different for adoptions or in Texas or even 15 years ago when it happened. In any case, I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do.

I didn't see anything about adoption - I only saw surrendering rights.

I think you need to rethink what you wish as this will cause more problems down the road. The inconvenience with the insurance and health providers bills being paid can be worked out by going back to court and having the judge order the bills to be paid. Once this is done, maybe ex won't keep doing this and get the idea to pay the bills or forward them to his insurance company. You should have instructed the health provider's office to send the bills to the insurance company. You are partially at fault on this one for not giving them explicit instructions on how to get paid.

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Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

You should have instructed the health provider's office to send the bills to the insurance company. You are partially at fault on this one for not giving them explicit instructions on how to get paid.

Where did you get any indication she didn't do this? In fact she said that "me & the doctors" have to fight for payment. Please read the posts more carefully.