So things have been going well with this girl I met a few months ago; we started hanging out more and talking more often, but just last week I saw her with some other new guy who's probably the most laziest, stupidest person I have ever seen. He can't even add 2+2 to save his life. He drinks and smokes all the time as well. Pretty much any bad quality you can find in a person, this guy has.
Just recently they've been hanging out more and more and I feel like I'm stuck in the gray area of being just a friend or being a potential boyfriend for her.
I really like her and I don't appreciate seeing her with this guy because he's a bad influence. Is there anything I can do to salvage any sort of relationship I could start with her?

This means that now you will find a girl 1,000,000x's better then her.

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Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

This means that now you will find a girl 1,000,000x's better then her.

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Real friends support each other..
But he could find another one if he wants too keep that girl happy..

You can't control her. I have trouble with the idea of: "I like this girl, I don't like her choices, or the people she hangs with, or her low standards, or her opinion of me...but I like her." I have a lot of trouble with that.

You like her, and as long as she totally changes her outlook on life, you and her friends, maybe you two can be together? You think that's realistic in any way?

It's not.

Well, you can't control who she hangs out with and what she does. Clearly. But if this guyu is a really bad influence, she will relaize within time that she doesn't want to be with him in any way, you just have to let that sulk into her. And if she never does relaize this than mabey she's happy being his friend, that still doesn't mean YOU can't be with her. She can have more than you as a guy friend.

And remember, there are a bunch of other girls in the world. So if this one won't work out, you still have 54534675747675644565756463454532 left.


OK I eagerated, but you see my point. Right? ;)

If you really like her then maybe you should talk to her, tell her you care about her and don't want to see her fall down that path. Either that or find someone that deserves you more than she ever did. I was in this same situation a couple months ago and my ex came to talk to me about this guy I was hanging out with. The guy was a really bad influence and I totally regret not listing to my ex.

Well have you told her that you really like her? You shouldn't tell her that you don't like this new guy because she might not like that, unless he's getting her in trouble. She may like this guy because he seems like a bad boy. Some chics dig that but then soon look for a better guy. If she don't have the same feelings for you, then you can either stay her friend and support her or you can get out of the picture. I say hang in there and have a heart to heart talk with her. Good luck

She has to learn her own mistakes.
If you try and convince her otherwise she could end up resenting you.
Be a supportive friend. You can tell her you do not condone her choice but you support her decisions and you are there for her thick and thin.
If and when she wakes up, if you are not with anybody, maybe she will turn to you for a shoulder to cry on and maybe more.

Two BUTS:
But if you try and talk her into leaving him, when she does she will not feel comfortable with you because she will see it as you looking at it as you were right and she was wrong I told you so.

But don't get your hopes up because she may not choose to be with you even if she leaves him. It is possible you are not her type or she just can't see the two of you being in that kind of relationship for whatever reason.

I know one guy liked me for over 20 years and he has a lot of good old fashioned qualities that are good relationship material but I told him that I was not interested in him as any more than a friend because while he liked me a lot his personality was too opposite of mine and I just could never see me with him. He would never be able to understand this and I didn't want to hurt his feelings or critic him so I never told him why I felt we were not relationship material. All he can see is I go for the 'wrong guy' rather than the good ole boy.

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Originally Posted by jooceman

So things have been going well with this girl I met a few months ago; we started hanging out more and talking more often, but just last week I saw her with some other new guy who's probably the most laziest, stupidest person I have ever seen. He can't even add 2+2 to save his life. He drinks and smokes all the time as well. Pretty much any bad quality you can find in a person, this guy has.
Just recently they've been hanging out more and more and I feel like I'm stuck in the gray area of being just a friend or being a potential boyfriend for her.
I really like her and I don't appreciate seeing her with this guy because he's a bad influence. Is there anything I can do to salvage any sort of relationship I could start with her?

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Unfortunately she has to make that decision not u and if she doesn't see u for the adonis u are move on , find another woman who will see the good qualities you have and make her your priority

Thanks for the advice so far, I really appreciate it. It looks like they're starting to be in an actual relationship now. They're beginning to go out to places, hold hands, walk with each other everywhere, etc.
Is it still a good time to tell her I like her? If so, how should I go about this?

If I was her I would like for you to be upfront with me and just say hey I'm really digging you and want you to be my girl and to see you with this other man is killing me inside (laughing) or something like that . Just tell the truth but keep in mind she might not feel the same way so be prepared for the worse