Heu guys!

Hope you'll doing all right...

I wanted to share a feeling that's going around in my head latley...

A year after being dumped by my Ex, I stiil feel there is no closur...

Some people say the closur has to be within myself, and it's all true, but I feel that something should happen that will concern her to...

What are the chances? What are the odds? It's a strange feeling...

Have a nice weekend everybody!

ROY

Your need for closure sounds more like a need for her to "realize what she gave up and regret it." Yes? Maybe?

You are the dumpee, not the dumper. You will most likely fret this breakup for the rest of your life. You will always care for the girl, but she jilted you. She took everything you two had together and declared "not enough for me." She said "you're not the man for me."

She did that. You can spend all the time you want for as many years as you want running her "through your mind" and you'll never get the closure you want. You got dumped.

She got closure, a year ago, in fact. You'll never teach her anything. She's just a stranger on the street now.

Your closure will only come when you finally compartmentalize your memories of her. You don't need to get over loving her or forget your feelings. I still remember my first great loves. But you do need to live in the present and there is a workd of female opportunity open to you.

She took her name off the list. It's just one name, though. Stare at that name as long as you want, but your future is with another one on there and you're not doing the work to get to her, find her, and love her while you're pining over closure with your ex.

Eyes forward.

The only people who need closure, are the ones who cannot accept their circumstances. Its also a sign of shock that turns to unresolved anger and resentments. Not conducive to healing.

If I may say to be more proactive in rebuilding your life. A year?? Still no closure? Re-evaluate your actions, as you have not learned to love yourself more than you do her. Focus on the future as you move from the past. Above all, leave her alone.

Wow that's ruff :(...

I guess It's all true...

It hurts though...

I can't believe it's over a year now and still no sign of "getting over" her...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by royweins

wow thats ruff :(...

I guess It's all true...

it hurts though...

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I know, these guys are tough, but honest. They helped me (I was in a similar situation). I hope you listen to them! And good luck with your situation.

Thanks :)

But is my heart going to squeeze every time she comes on my mind?

Is it really going to be like this forever? Isn't something going to happen that will make my feeling better?

Do the "dumpers" come back sometime? Or are the chances are not on my side...

I don't know what to say. I'm lost...

I'm sure you know the answers to these questions...
The dumpers dump for a reason. It does happen, but don't bet on it. Sorry to be blunt, but you need to hear it. What you need to do is go here.

You will get over it eventually, give it more time.
How long did you relationship last, if you don't mind me asking? A year is a long time to still be grieving over a break up.

Our relationship was 3 1\2 years long

Has something happened recently to stir up old feelings? Birthdays, anniversaries, emails?

And you have to start moving on, acting upon the fact that it is over. First there should be no or very limited contact, you don't email them or text them but go on. You start to date again, even if not the next love of your life, you move on and get new friends.

As long s you are living with the idea that it may happen again, then there is no moving on.

How do you let go? I do all the things you say guys... I have new friends that have no relation to the Ex, I have absolutely no contact with her, I'm not even going to places I know she could be there at certain days...

But I feel I'm moving somewhere but not feeling better...

You didn't get in this situation over night, nor will you heal from it overnight. Stay busy, and be patient with yourself.

royweins - time heals all. As I get older (and hopefully wiser), it heals a bit faster too. For my first breakup long ago, it took almost 2 YEARS! But it did fully heal. With my current breakup, its been a month and a half and I am doing much better. Don't worry, sometimes it just takes longer but you will get there.