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-   -   Dryness (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=226351)

  • Jun 13, 2008, 02:54 AM
    flower81
    Dryness
    Why is it that sometimes your are dry and only time you're wet is when its oral sex?
  • Jun 13, 2008, 06:47 AM
    kp2171
    Dryness can come from a large number of things.

    Some will post dryness means you aren't getting proper foreplay if you are dry. This is ignorant of the fact that some women, with all the "proper" physical and mental stim, can still be dry. For example, estrogen levels play an important part in dryness, and can fluctuate over time.

    If you find that oral is the best thing to get your body primed properly, then don't fuss too much about it. My partner is the same way sometimes... almost as a "rule" she gets oral before intercourse... it gives her time to get mentally lost, but don't forget... it also allows for your body to release chemicals that cause physiological changes... such as blood flow to the breasts and genitals, skin sensitization, and vaginal lubrication. The shape of the vagina actually changes shape, readying to receive the man, and the vaginal walls "sweat", offering lubrication.

    So... its not always as simple as "you need more foreplay"... when estrogen levels fluctuate, it can change. Mental health can also play a part, as stress can also contribute to dryness. Smoking can also contribute to fluctuations in estrogen.

    Many problems with any kind of sexual "issues" can be solved or at least minimized by "good living"... meaning be well hydrated, eat well, take a good multivitamin, exercise, get good sleep, minimize stress.

    Also, certain feminine hygiene products can contribute. Excessive cleaning with soaps or douches can actually dry you out. Instead of a bubble bath take a shower. Using pads instead of tampans can help sometimes.

    And also getting the needed foreplay is important. You aren't "broken" if oral is what gets you there more often than without. As I stated before, I think oral on a woman to completion or close to it is one of the best ways to prepare a woman's body for intercourse.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 07:12 AM
    flower81
    Wow that's great
    Thanks so much
    Im normal lol
  • Jun 13, 2008, 07:19 AM
    flower81
    Once my hubby did say that he gets annoyed that is the only way he can get me wet
  • Jun 13, 2008, 07:25 AM
    rodandy12
    Some women lose the capability to become wet with age.

    KY jelly can help.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 07:28 AM
    flower81
    With age? I'm 29 :O
  • Jun 13, 2008, 07:43 AM
    Synnen
    Some men don't understand that it takes getting MENTALLY in the mood to be PHYSICALLY in the mood.

    Your husband sounds like one of those men that don't get it.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 07:47 AM
    flower81
    Lol I think so to!
  • Jun 15, 2008, 03:34 PM
    Choux
    Isn't it an automatic response to have a lubricated vagina if a woman is really turned on? I believe so. I think you aren't really turned on for some reason.

    I think you should get a lot more experience with vaginal sex... all the various kinds of thrusts a man can make and how you enjoy them, and all the moves and muscle work you can do to bring on more pleasure. YOu may or may not orgasm, but you will have the groundwork for basic female sexuality. Practicing is really enjoyable! :)

    YOu can add oral sex later if you want to... :)
  • Jun 15, 2008, 04:14 PM
    talaniman
    Whatever the reason, keep lotions and oils handy, and let him undry you.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 07:00 PM
    kp2171
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Choux
    Isn't it an automatic response to have a lubricated vagina if a woman is really turned on? I believe so.

    No, it is not always "automatic".

    Proper mental release and physical stim play strongly into this for many women, and it is one of the first areas that should be addressed, but it isnt all there is to the situation, and to state as much is just reckless and an insult to women who experience this phenomenon due to other factors which are commonly and clearly known.

    Perhaps you could write the mayo clinic, harvard medical, yale medical, among others, and correct them on their idiotic suspicions that female dryness is sometimes more than a lack of proper arousal.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 07:16 PM
    Alty
    You are perfectly normal, really you are. I used to have no problem with natural
    Lubrication, but after the birth of my two children I suffered from dryness for a few
    Years, I'm okay now though. :)

    Lubricant is a great answer, but be careful, some lubricants can cause allergic reactions
    Or even yeast infections, that happened to me on a few occasions. Don't buy
    The cheap stuff and buy small samples until you find the one that's right for you.

    Good luck. :)

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