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-   -   How to trust him? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=226226)

  • Jun 12, 2008, 04:46 PM
    heartbreaker
    How to trust him?
    Me and this guy have been going for six months and it bugs him that I can't trust him because of my last past experiences. I want to so badly.but, what experiment or something that I can do to show weather I should?
  • Jun 12, 2008, 11:18 PM
    NorthernNiceGuy
    Well, really the only thing you can do is bite your tongue when you feel like saying something about not trusting him. You really just have to force yourself to stop. Do you have any reason not to trust him? Because if you don't than you have no reason to be that way towards him. I understand that your past experiences have made you this way, but your past experiences could ruin a perfectly good relationship if you are not careful.
  • Jun 12, 2008, 11:59 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Do you know anyone that ever stole something? Should YOU be punished for it? Should anyone even point any attitude in your direction at all about something someone else did?

    Anyone ever lie to you? Don't you now disbelieve every statement made to you by any person on any issue, after all, you were lied to once, right?

    Ever seen something written down about someone you know wasn't true? Well, if that's the case, can't you now refuse to believe anything you see in writing about anything on any topic from anyone?

    You see the problem with what you're doing to him. It makes no sense WHATSOEVER to punish him, distrust him, suspect him, bad attitude him in ANY WAY based on the actions/words/writings of some other random person. It's nuts.

    Snap out of it. Apologize to him, and anyone else you've done this to recently.

    Every person deserves absolute honesty and trust from you until THEY specifically break that trust. And then you only distrust the thing they broke, not every aspect of them.

    Being fair with people takes work on your part. DO the work.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 05:36 AM
    talaniman
    This sounds like your problem to deal with, not his. I strongly suggest you take the steps to solve it, or risk destroying any relationship you have, and will ever have. Maybe you needed to put more time healing, before jumping into this relationship.

    If you need help, there is no shame in getting it.

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