Hello I am in a bind right now I have only been married for nine months. I am having problems with my husband he will not let me work and money is next to nill. In the past few months my husband is rarely home, he has been taking drugs, and spending our money. When he is home he sits in a room blowing glass or on the computer looking at porn. He onlys seems interested in me maybe twice a month. His anger when he runs out of smoke is unbearable and extremely mean is this a marriage, will it change. He says he loves me but he do not show it. I am his slave cook, clean, bath him. Help!!

It will change it will get worst, and be physcial abuse if it is not already.

First your husband can not stop you from working. And if he watches porn, put a porn blocker on the computer

But personally get out, go to a women's shelter and get a new start. Next time don't date and go out with drug users. If you use drugs also, get into a rehab and start your new life at a much better start.

You and I both know all the things he does now you had every chance of seeing and admitting was a problem in advance. You knew how he was, or strongly suspected, and got married anyway.

You only get two choices now:

• Get a backbone and do what you need to do in your marriage to keep it together including working (his permission isn't required) and getting into couseling (his permission isn't required)
• Get out.

I'm a HUGE advocate of making the marriage your #1 goal. I won't say you should divorce him, but you should leave. Divorce may be the only safe option for you since his list of sins includes pretty serious danger to you.

I'd vote just get out. Divorce if necessary, too, but for now, get out.

You sound like a hostage in your own home. Look for women's shelters and an attorney; also professional counseling so that you can get some real-life validation for what you are going through.

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he has been taking drugs

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Get you, and the kids, and get away from him. He is an addict, and is going down hill, and will drag you along with him,so you need to leave, and do what it takes to take care of your family, without him in your life.

Get out now while you still can. If he is into drugs, porn and is also controlling... that's a bad combination any way you look at it. Be strong and stick up for what YOU know is the right thing to do. I'm not saying to get a divorce but I would suggest getting a job and leaving. This way you can start thinking more clearly without the influence of his manipulation. You can always make a decision to go back once things are better and boundries have been put in place but the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.
Believe me... time flies whether your having fun or not. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. Don't waste another beautiful day on being miserable...

Pray and listen... You will know what to do.