I have two sons 6 and 3. Their father is not a bad man, just not a very good one. He live is Oregon and I live in Arizona. He sees his kids about once or twice a year, he pays child support very infrequently. Though I would prefer that he not be a part of their lives, I am mature enough to understand it is not my decision to make.

My problem... I would like to teach over seas when I receive my teaching certificate (2 years). I think it will be good for my kids and me to experience the world and different cultures. I do not want him to be able to keep us from doing this. I have tried on several occasions to e mail him to request we discuss putting things in order with the kids so there is something in writing, in regards to child support and visitation. He has not responded. I don't know how else to proceed, he has no phone or physical address. I work part time and go to school full time and money is tight. I don't know if I should go to court, and if I do which court to go to. I want to make sure I do what is in the best interest of my boys without aggravating their father to the point where he tries to stop me from reaching my goals for my kids and myself.

Thank you

I would probably never recommend suggesting to a father that he give up his rights. That is hurtful to the children as much as it is to the Father. They need him and he needs them. It's not secret that some noncustodial parents man or woman tend to have problems from time to time putting things in order and doing what is right for their children. Family court is where you need to go. They will assist you in establishing parenting time and child support. They also have a mediation process that can assist you in getting the proposed future plan on the books for the benefit of all parties involved. They may move slow as suggested above, however, squeaky wheel gets the grease. Be your own advocate. Check in on them regularly to be sure that your case is front and center and being acted on and it will be the best small fee you have ever paid. Less than $50. Good Luck in the future with your dreams and getting your family situation in order. :)

Thank you. Do you know if family court can deal with the whole out of state thing?

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Originally Posted by rnouctk

Thank you. Do you know if family court can deal with the whole out of state thing?

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Yes, nothing unusual - they see it all the time.

Let me get this straight, you currently have no court ordered custody, support or visitation setup? Is the father on the birth certificate? Were you married?

Without a court ordered agreement, you are free to move. Only if your moving would affect a court ordered visitation would he be able to block it.

Correct, I have no court ordered support, visitation, or custody set up. The ability to move, would that include moving out of the country? I am concerned about the ability to get a passport for the boys. I don't want to keep the kids from their father, but he only sees them about once a year currently, I'm sure we will be back to visit family about that often. If I can't get a passport for the boys, should I go to court to get sole custody? Its all very confusing and I just don't want to do anything that is unfair to the boys in regards to their dad

If there is o court custody what so ever, what is on the birth certficate, under father / none or not known?? Or blank??

If the father is not listed and there is no custody agreement ( and that is why you are not getting any child support which you can't enforce)
But without any legal orders you are free to come and go like you want.

He is on both birth certificates. We have never been to court. We were trying for a while to just not do the court thing as both of us have relatively low paying jobs. For a while he was sending money now and then, but that has stopped, and he s stopped calling. I was looking at passport information and it says you have to have both signatures. So now I can no longer get a hold of him, and he doesn't get a hold of his boys, and I'm worried that I won't be able to get the passports.

I'm glad that I am able to move in the US... thank you

Why shouldn't you get passports? If they are US citizens there should be no problem. Parental consent is not needed to get a passport.

Where you might have a problem is getting a visa. A visa is permission from a foreign country to reside there. I'm not saying you will have a problem, but that would be the only potential problem I see.

At the website for the US Department of State it says both parents must appear together or there needs to be one parent with a notorized signature from the second parent. Where can I go to find information on parental consent not being needed. That would take a great deal of weight off my shoulders.

Whoops, I guess I was wrong. However, if you have FULL legal custody, then his signature shouldn't be needed. Just bring a copy of the court order giving you full custody.

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Originally Posted by rnouctk

At the website for the US Department of State it says both parents must appear together or there needs to be one parent with a notorized signature from the second parent. Where can I go to find information on parental consent not being needed. That would take a great deal of weight off my shoulders.

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Then it looks like you still have to file a Petition in Family Court if the father will not sign a consent. Taking the children overseas may only be allowed if you are willing to pay the cost of transporting them to see their father.

If he decides to get unpleasant on this issue, he is in a position to do so - it would be different if this were a job transfer.

Either parent, whether a U.S. citizen or not, may apply for the U.S. passport for their minor child. However, the Two Parent Consent Law, effective July 2, 2001, requires that, for a child under the age of 16, both parents must consent to issuance, or the applying parent must document his/her sole authority to obtain a passport for the child. Thus, before a passport is issued for such a child, Passport Services will require evidence of one of the following:

* Sole custody, a court order allowing the parent to travel with the child.
* A written statement under penalty of perjury that the other parent agrees to issuance or is unavailable, a termination of the other parent's parental rights, or compelling humanitarian reasons relating to the welfare of the child.

Each foreign country has its own entry requirements concerning citizenship, passports and visas. Information regarding those requirements may be obtained from the appropriate foreign embassy or consulate or from our publication "Foreign Entry Requirements." These requirements, along with the addresses and telephone numbers for the foreign embassies and or consulates near you are found on the Consular Affairs Internet web page at Welcome to Travel.State.Gov under Foreign Entry Requirements.

I have gone through this same situation the only difference was that I had, "sole custody", of my children. Even where courts do award sole physical custody, the parties often still share joint legal custody, and the noncustodial parent enjoys a generous visitation schedule. In that situation, the parents would make joint decisions about the child's upbringing, but one parent would be deemed the primary physical caretaker, while the other parent would have visitation rights. Seeing that the absent father basically has not visitation or support obligation this may not be an issue being that he doesn't exercise in visitation. Possibly offering methods of keeping the father informed as of the well being of your children would ease any concerns of alienation.

This has all been so helpful. I really appreciate all of your information and knowledge. Thank you so much!