I haven been going out with this guy for the last three months. It's been great, all going well, he is very caring, he said he is in love with me and he's been making long term plans whereas I have been the one saying let's see how it works out, I don't want to make plans for the future cause it's too soon, although I did say to him that I am in love with him too. He is divorced with a daughter. Two days ago we were together and he was again making plans and saying that he is so lucky to be with me etc. Yesterday he called me and said that it's going too fast, that he is not certain if he can give me what I want , at leas not yet and that he wants a couple of days to sort his head out. I told him that it's too soon for me to have any expectations, that I am the one who kept saying let's not make plans and he is the one who's been moving fast. I don't know what to think. How can someone change his mind from one day to the other? I assume that was his way of saying he wants to split up? I am so confused!

It sounds to me that he wants to split up. But I am not in his head. He has a daughter to care for, and worry about the well-being of. So, perhaps he is afraid things are moving too fast for HER. How old is his daughter?

While he's taking time to think things over to consider if he wants to be you, you take this time to think if you want to be with him.

You don't have to be the keeper of his intentions and meanings, just your own. Sounds like that's what you're doing. The fact that he's wishy washy is not a reflection of anything except HE is wishy washy.

He has a lot on his plate. He's uncertain of the future, and his daughter is watching. He says things about what he wants and then doubts the reality of it later. Truth is, none of this is particularly problematic. A little irksome, but only if YOU take things more seriously than you apparently are trying to.

Through all of HIS working on HIS issues, you just keep the course simple and true based on who you are. When he's getting weird, tell him so, give him a hug, and "love you anyway, hope you have a better day."

Don't let YOUR peace about things be jerked around by his wishy-washiness. You can still be OK. You'll both benefit.

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I am so confused!

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Don't be, he is finally thinking and not talking, so give him what he ask for, and he will call if he is ready, in the meantime enjoy your free time, and see how it works.

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Originally Posted by channel

I haven been going out with this guy for the last three months. It's been great, all going well, he is very caring, he said he is in love with me and he's been making long term plans whereas I have been the one saying let's see how it works out, I don't want to make plans for the future cause it's too soon, although I did say to him that I am in love with him too. He is divorced with a daughter. Two days ago we were together and he was again making plans and saying that he is so lucky to be with me etc. Yesterday he called me and said that it's going too fast, that he is not certain if he can give me what I want , at leas not yet and that he wants a couple of days to sort his head out. I told him that it's too soon for me to have any expectations, that I am the one who kept saying let's not make plans and he is the one who's been moving fast. I don't know what to think. How can someone change his mind from one day to the other? I assume that was his way of saying he wants to split up? I am so confused!

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I think that when men really do love someone, and want something with a women... they tend to get scared a little (naturally) when they look at the overall picture. I'm sure he wants to be with you, he probably just feels like he isn't in a place financially or career wise to give you what he thinks you deserve. Guys have power trips over that stuff for some reason, even though at the end of the day women (the good ones at least) could care less about all that stuff. Maybe sit down and talk with him, express your feelings and that you want to work this out together, fina compromise and just ask if you are on the same page with stuff. Three months is still kind of new and fresh, so maybe he's just anazlying whether 6 months down the line, you could be the one. Give him space, and let him know how you feel... without sounding needy.