We just brought home a retreiver, newfoundland mix puppy 2 days ago. He is very shy, and will go to a corner and cower when new people come in. He has totally bonded with me to the point that he will follow me everywhere, but as yet, has not bonded with my husband. We are both home all day. He is 16 weeks old and we got him from a no kill shelter. I don't know what his history is, whether he was abused or just not paid attention to. Anyway, could someone help me to help him overcome his shyness? Thank you.

At 16 weeks he is past the point where puppies accept new experiences as well as earlier. It is going to take a lot of time and attention now to correct this problem. In addition, some puppies go through a fear stage about 16 weeks. Don't push him too far.

I just took a quick look here and have a dinner to go to. I will post more in a few hours.

Hi, julie,
I do have a suggestion for your husband.
It worked for me with some dogs in the past.
Since he is home all day, he might have time to do this.
When your puppy "shys away", say into a corner or wherever, ask your husband to go sit near him, on the floor, maybe a foot away from him.
Tell your husband to just sit there, not saying anything, not touching the puppy. Sit there as long as it takes, maybe an hour, for the puppy to start having some kind of reaction. The puppy has to know, and learn, that your husband is not to be afraid of.
If the puppy doesn't do anything in maybe an hour, then your husband should get up quietly, and try again later.
Eventually, the puppy will get up, look at your husband, and start wagging its tail, and may even give him a kiss on his face.
This method shows the puppy that your husband is not out to do it any harm, and wants to be friends! I am not saying that your husband would harm the puppy in any way; please don't get me wrong. The puppy has to see this for itself.
I do wish you the best of luck.

I posted an additional answer last night, but it disappeared. I retrieved it, from my clip board and reposted it again, and it is gone. I have real experience and training to share with you. This may be a tough problem and you need a good answer. I will try again.

Buy a crate. If the 36'' large plastic ones don't have room to spare for him to stretch out in, buy the next larger size. Put it in the corner he runs to cower in, and leave the door open. A dog that has not been crated since it was little, may take some work. Start just putting its toys and treats in the crate. Praise it for going in. Have your husband feed it in the crate. That should go a long ways toward showing the puppy both he and the crate are good.
In general, in a day or 2, he may warm up to your husband. Don't let him scold the dog. Try to keep it amiable between the 2 of you.

It is very important not to push him too far. If he wants to run to the crate or other safe place when somebody comes, let him. Don't let it upset you. Instead greet them warmly, and keep up a happy chatter. If you are happy, how bad can they be? Have some of his kibble ready. If after a while, he decides to risk investigating these strangers, let them offer him a piece of kibble. If he won't get close enough to take it, they can drop it in front of him. I the never comes out, you might take them back towards the crate. Back off if he is uncomfortable. Again, try having them offer kibble or throw it in front of the crate. I have used the kibble trick. When I took my puppy out in public, I would fill a 35 mm film canister with kibble and have strangers, at least to the dog, offer it to him.

After only a few days, it is hard to say how severe the problem is. Many dogs from the shelter have had some bad experiences. If confined in too small of a place too much, he may be slow to accept the crate. The puppy I had 2 years ago was 16 weeks old when I got her. She was definitely slower to accept strangers and noises that the ones I get at the usual 7 weeks. I took it easy with her and used the tested procedures I was taught by the dog guide school I volunteer from. I also had additional help from the professional field trainer from the service dog school she belonged to. She is now helping a severely disabled person in a wheelchair.

I am wondering if I was burned by my other posts being too long. I had pasted in some other material I though you might find helpful. Much of the dog care advice is very poor. The dog guide school I have volunteered for the last 15 years has far more resources than many of the people putting up dog advice websites. I have seen their tested methods work for both me and many others. I will put some additional material in a third post,

To defeat a possible limit on length posts, I am posting the additional material I think you should find useful is another post. Much of the housebreaking advice I read skips part of what I, and others I know, find works.

Much of housebreaking is not training the puppy, but making it easier for your
Puppy, you, and your carpet while its body to catches up to its instincts. At
Around 8 weeks when the puppy goes to its new home, the time from when it
Realizes it has to go, and when it can't wait any longer is a matter of
Seconds. Only time will fix that. You can hardly be expected to be attentive
Enough to avoid all accidents There is no sense punishing the puppy for your
Inattention. It is not fair to punish you either, but you still have to clean
It up if you didn't have the puppy outside in time.

Housebreaking starts before you get home with the new puppy. If you don't have
A crate, buy one. I prefer the more enclosed, den like plastic ones. Skip the
Bedding. At first it gets wet, and later it can be chewed into choking
Hazards. A wire rack in the bottom will help keep the puppy up out of
Accidents at first. They are available with the crates, but a piece of closely
Spaced wire closet shelving from a home supply place is cheaper. If you
Already have a metal crate, covering it may help. Just make sure you use
Something the puppy can't pull in and chew. Dogs that start in crates as
Little puppies, accept them very well. Never leave an unattended puppy loose
In the house. If nobody can watch it, put it in the crate. I suggest letting
The dog have its crate all its life.

Choose a command and spot you want it to use. The less accessible to strays,
The less chance of serious disease. If it is a female, choosing a
Non grassy spot will avoid brown spots later. When you bring it home, take it
To the spot and give it the command in a firm, but friendly voice. Keep
Repeating the command and let the puppy sniff around. If it does anything,
Praise it. Really let it know what a good dog it is and how much you love it,
And maybe a treat. Note, being out there not only means you can praise it,
But it also keeps it from being snatched by a hawk. If it doesn't go, take it
Inside and give it a drink and any meals scheduled. A young puppy will need to
Go out immediately afterward. Go to the spot and follow the above routine.
Praising it if it goes is extremely important. If it doesn't go, take it back
Inside and put it in its crate and try again soon. Do not let it loose in the
House until it does go.

At first it is your responsibility to know and take the puppy out when it
Needs to go. It needs to go out the first thing in the morning, after eating,
Drinking, and sleeping. If it quits playing, and starts running around
Sniffing, it is looking for a place to go. Take it out quickly. You will just
Have to be what I call puppy broke until it is a little older.

By the time most dogs are about 3 months old, they have figured out that if
They go to the door and stand, you will let them out. The praise slowly shifts
To going to the door. Some people hang a bell there for the dog to paw. If
Your dog doesn't figure this out, try praising it and putting it out if it
Even gets near the door. A stern "Bad dog!" is all the punishment that is
Effective, and only when you catch it in the act and are sure you didn't miss
It going to the door. Clean up accidents promptly. I mostly keep the little
Puppies out of the carpeted rooms. Still I need the can of carpet foam
Sometimes. First blot up all the urine you can with a dry towel. Keep moving
It and stepping on it until a fresh area stays dry. A couple big putty knives
Work well on bowel movements. Just slide one under it while holding it with
The other. This gets it up with a minimum of pushing it down into the carpet.
This works with even relatively soft ones, vomit, dirt from over turned house
Plants, or anything else from solids to thick liquids. Finish up with a good
Shot of carpet foam. Note, do not let the puppy lick up the carpet foam.
Once the dog is reliably housebroken, your carpet may need a good steam cleaning.

Many people strongly strongly push cleaning up all evidence of past accidents. I am slower to suggest that. Dogs will return to the same spot if they can find it. When you see one sniffing the spot, that is your clue to run it out.

What does a puppy need?

A crate. It is only natural that a puppy resists its crate at first. What the puppy wants more than anything else is to be others, you, anyone else in the
Household, and any other pets. In our modern society, even if we are home,
Other things distract us from the attention an uncrated puppy must have. The
Only real solution is to crate the dog when you aren't around. The dog may be
Happier in its den than loose in the house. It relaxes, it feels safe in its
Den. It rests, the body slows down reducing the need for water and relieving
Its self. Dogs that have been crated all along do very well. Many of them
Will rest in their crates even when the door is open. Skip the
Bedding. At first it gets wet, and later it can be chewed into choking
Hazards. A wire rack in the bottom will help keep the puppy up out of
Accidents at first. They are available with the crates, but a piece of closely
Spaced wire closet shelving from a home supply place is cheaper. I think the plastic
Ones give the dog more of a safe, enclosed den feeling. Metal ones can be put
In a corner or covered with something the dog can't pull in and chew. Select
A crate just big enough for the full grown dog to stretch out in. At bed time, with a new puppy, I have found lying down in frontof the crate like you were going to sleep and speaking softly to it, or singing, until it settles down and goes to sleep works very well. Follow the pattern, a period of active play, outside to eliminate, and then into the crate.

Chew toys. The pet stores are full of toys that many dogs will quickly chew up into pieces they could choke on or cause intestinal blockages. If you are not
There to watch, stick to sturdy stuff such as Nylabones and Kongs. Keep a
Close eye on chew toys and quickly discard anything that is coming apart in
Pieces. Rawhide is especially bad because it swells after being swallowed.
These problems are the worst with, but not limited to, large, aggressive
Chewers such as Labs.

Food. Find out what the breeder is feeding. If it is dry chow you can buy readily, I would stick with it until the dog is 4 months old, at that time switching to a dry adult chow. If not, try to have the breeder give you a few days supply to use making a gradual change to a dry puppy chow.

Dishes. Empty plastic food containers are good enough. If you want something nicer, buy the spill proof? Ones. See http://www.petsmart.com/global/produ...1078323611448À. I have found them at Big Lots too.

A collar and leash. You should stay with a flat fabric or leather collar until your puppy is 5 months old. Then you can go with the metal slip collar with the rings on each end. Otherwise you could damage its windpipe. Put it on like this for the usual dog on the left position. Pull the chain through the one ring forming a"P". Facing the dog, slip it over its head. The free end comes over the neck allowing the other end to release pressure when the leash is slack. A five
Month old's head will still grow some. If you buy one that easily goes over
The head, it still should come off leaving the ears when the dog finishes
Growing. I start the puppy out with a metal leash and switch to a leather one after the worst of the chewing is over and I need more control.

A name, try http://www.lowchensaustralia.com/names/petnames.htm#1 and http://www.cat-dog-names.com/

A brush. Start the puppy with a bristle brush. They don't shed much at first, and the bristle brush will remove dirt and help control odor. When shedding becomes a problem later, switch to a slicker brush with the wire teeth.

The number of a vet. It is very hard to evaluate them. Dogs need more medical care than in the past. Many new problems are wide spread.

A book. Any book is better than none at all. I like the Monks of New Skete and their The Art of Raising a Puppy, ISBN 0-316-57839-8.

Obedience training. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. Start obedience training the day you get the dog. Build on the foundation of housebreaking. The younger the puppy, the shorter you must keep sessions, only a few repetitions at a time. A few minutes here and there, and by the time the puppy is 4 months old, people will be impressed with what a nice dog it is.

An AskMe bookmark so you can come back for help as needed.

I didn't forget treats, shampoo, and bedding. I seldom use them.