Ask Me Help Desk - Does anyone having a hard time to determine "emotional appeal" scam online?

Does anyone having a hard time to determine "emotional appeal" scam online?

Im a Filipino, involved in an american (online too) for a year now.My BF has been flirting on-line for 10yrs before he met me and he was confused the same thing as reallywondering. Not all the time we mean what we say, not all the time we say what we mean and confusion is understandable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CFZD

You need to notice some culture difference, in most asian cultures, when someone says she doesn't have money for something, that means you need to buy for her!
American culture is different, you guys are more direct than most asians.

If you read about the business culture in Asia, you will realize that the way they express their needs are less direct as Americans. Americans misunderstand a lot of their words, not Americans' fault, just culture difference.

CFZD is right that we (asians) express our needs more indirectly because we balance expressing our need against pride. We don't want to look so lowly but we need to ask. We don't want the person we're asking us feel compeled either ,because its harder here to say "NO".

If you notice a girl is Mostly talk about her lack of money, repeated misfortunes, unending illness and tearjerking living conditions (which is most likely true), rather than talking about positive side of life, and have a good time , the guy should start to doubt that he's being tried to be milked... You're emotionally manipulated, BIG TIME!

Quote:

Originally Posted by reallywondering

She has said she has no passport and has no money for it. She has said she has no money for many things. I told her to buy this phone, she said it will take a long time to save up. But she doesn't beg. I dont know.......

On the other hand, the girl will be lying if she'll pretend that she has something what she doesn't have, right? If you asked questions talked about long time ago and she answered with consistency, then her story is a legit.( and just back it up with more scrutiny) She's poor and just feel gratefull that your country is first world.

My BF almost fell on his chair when I told him that I don't have a shower. I am not implying to him to send me money to install a shower! I just mentioned it because he asked what's our restroom like. I don't have fridge, I don't have microwave oven, and so? But when I talk to my BF it's not what I don't have that we talk about MOSTLY although he teases me that I live in prehistoric civilization.

Again, does anyone having a hard time to determine "emotional appeal" scam?

I'm sorry to be a completely clueless here but how is you don't have a shower, a fridge, or a microwave but you have a computer with internet access?

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

I'm sorry to be a completely clueless here but how is you don't have a shower, a fridge, or a microwave but you have a computer with internet access?

That's so true! Its sound like a scam to me. So who computer does you use?

Basically I assume they are all scams, esp if they are from specific areas of the world. And how they happen to meet.

Guys sorry to interrupt, but what does scam mean ? I can't believe you don't have Fridge :\! I am Egyptian people think we live in the pyramids and we ride camels! Surprisingly!! I have my own car, we have buildings.. lots of them, amazing designes by the way! And we live normally like any other :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

That's so true! Its sound like a scam to me. So who computer does you use?

I use computer in the office I work and to the cafe's close to my home. A lot doesn't have computer there are available ones U can rent specially those nearby in schools.

I have a TV, I have washer, fan and was able to watch IDOL GIVES BACK. There are stories featured there that have similarities in our situation here. B]I understand apprehensions but IM SADDENED THAT A LOT ASSOCIATE THE TRUTH OF SCARCITY AS SCAM. YOU ALL MOST LIVE IN FIRST WORLD COUNTRY, [/B]so just be grateful that you don't have to eat from garbage, sleep under the bridge, like some of my fellows here. Just be grateful people. Not everyone get a nice place to sleep and delicious food to taste.When I was a kid, I don't have a toy, I can't buy notebook and eraser and I can't have children's party because we're so poor. My mother told me to study hard so I can have good job someday and make my own money. I was able to pass in state university,graduated In college in 2003, now getting a masteral degree.Im earning good money now I just don't buy so much appliances because Im used to having nothing anyway. But I plan buying some. As I look back, I was way different years ago and my future children will be a lot better to compare when I was a girl. Not all stories of poverty is scam thats my point of writing this but u can always free to prey.Truth has nothing to hide.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiamokiss

Guys sorry to interrupt, but what does scam mean ? I can't believe u don't have Fridge :\!! I am Egyptian people think we live in the pyramids and we ride camels!! Suprisingly!!! I have my own car, we have buildings.. lots of them, amazing designes btw! and we live normally like anyother :D

scam
Pronunciation: \ˈskam\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1963
: a fraudulent or deceptive act or operation

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Basicly I assume they are all scams, esp if they are from specific areas of the world. And how they happen to meet.

Had to spread it again dear.

I too believe that for the most part, if one is only contacting people through the internet - there is usually a reason behind this. And, not just on the women's side - men don't always tell the truth either.

It's up to each of us to determine what happens when the 'curtain rises'.

When I was living in Georgia, I volunteered to teach Korean and Phillipino ladies to learn english so that they could pass their citizenship tests. This taught me a lot about different cultural issues and the state of mind embedded to them through influence and how they should act to survive. I must admit that it was a 50/50 chance for the men they married that these ladies would wind up still being married to them once they got their 'independence'.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gifJust more proof that nothing in life is guaranteed.

Its just its so disturbing that a lot of to generalize "This girl from (country) just married him for to come in the U.S.A and after getting greencard he dumped him." It's so biased and unfair because we don't know what happens behind close doors, but you're right Cherry survival rate is 50/50. Couple's who didn't spend so much time together due to distance has more challenge in adjustment. I'll speak to my fellowmen; we're loyal partners. We don't have divorce here and marriage is a big deal to us, unlike in west. As much as we can bear, we stay and separation is not an option. I knew friends who married whites and they have good intention for getting into it. and US embassy is so strict on marriages over internet. If the girl separated with the guy after getting the green card, she realized long before that that she can't stay for some reason and just waited for that GC to compensate her headaches. If they ended up in divorce is because of the cultural and lifestyle difference, not because they already got what they want. Why some go back here anyway?

Who had an unyielding faith on Presley-Jackson marriage? How about Mc Cartney-Mills? Anna Nicole Smith -Howard Marshall's fortune? Same thing with Athina Onassis's BF. Who knows what's true? These marriages are just magnified with material things that's why doubt is present. Everyone's entitled on their opinion, ces't la vie! But then again weigh things... think before we judge and associate on the word "SCAM".

I think that it's a scam anywhere in the world when one expects something for free. Anyone thinking this way winds up paying one way or the other in the end.

There are girls from Thailand, Russia, South America, etc that offer themselves in a catalog to men they don't even know seeking benefactors for a better life. Some of these poor women wind up being treated like slaves or worse, away from their home thinking that their life was too poor in their own country. I believe they had true hopes of happiness but it's still dangerous. In most cases dreams become nightmares.

When talking about people living under bridges, eating garbage, destitute - hey guess what, there are people in the USA, even in Germany that live like that. In the way this world is changing, a person can have a good job, great educational background, home and happy family one day, and wind up in the street the next. There are no guarantees anywhere unless you belong to the rich that feed off the poor today. There are housing projects everywhere being emptied of poor people that cannot afford to live elsewhere, just to renovate by money-mongers to sell or rent at such high rates that those that lived there all their lives cannot move back. MONEY rules the world now, no matter where you are.

Before my medical retirement last month (of 700 Euro a month), I was forced to live off the 'state' for three years until the retirement was approved. My last job before this paid me 2000 Euro a month. This can happen to anyone - the stuggle to keep what you have is just as hard with the drop in standards of life, the payments don't drop just because your salary does. But, it never crossed my mind to look for a man to make things easier for me, either in person or on the internet.

So, a young woman or man, physically fit, intentionally asking for 'donations' to better their lives without thinking of working hard for what they want, is a scammer - no matter what country they are from.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
I think we did get off the subject a little - there are no Presleys or Jacksons, etc - looking for partners on the internet - their 'scams' are of a different category altogether.

But, this is the place for opinions and opportunity to vent your feelings, so keep them coming - it's your right - and don't let anyone stop you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chery

So, a young woman or man, physically fit, intentionally asking for 'donations' to better their lives without thinking of working hard for what they want, is a scammer - no matter what country they are from.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
I think we did get off the subject a little - there are no Presleys or Jacksons, etc - looking for partners on the internet - their 'scams' are of a different category altogether.

But, this is the place for opinions and opportunity to vent your feelings, so keep them coming - it's your right - and don't let anyone stop you.

Though life isn't easy as I mentioned I dont have so much, It's not my mentality to ask help everytime I'm screwed up. I don't like the feeling of being a burden to someone. However, I dont consider asking donation of in need as a scam.I only consider it a scam if a lie & deception were used why sa person needs help. Regarding the posing of women in catalogue, well "patronizers" know in the at the very start that those women are looking for husband/ benefactors so there's no scam there. Men got them for slavery purposes anyway so no one's loss. If the woman weaved so many lies to make these poor men fall inlove, marry them and has pre-plan of ditching after the release of greencard, thats the scam.Only we don't know who's who and those have sincere intentions becomes victim too of stereotyping. And being a partner of someone you dont' know is not for FREE anyway. You do chores, make the partner pleased in bed, do whatever works for both of them.