Ask Me Help Desk - Baby issue.

K, me and my husband aren't really getting along on one subject. I want another baby so our 5 year old son won't be an only child. But, he doesn't want anymore. I asked him for a good reason and the only thing he says is that one is enough. He says that he doesn't want anymore. But, I'm more mad at the fact that he thinks what he says goes and I have no say so in it. It's not fair to me. I do all the necessary things for our boy like, bath, bedtime, feeding, taking and picking him up from school, discipline, everything. Yeah, he works but only 3 days a week and I'm looking for another job now. So, I don't see what's going on. It's not that I want one tonight. I would like to have the option in the future. But, he says NO. What do I do? I'm not on birth control and condoms don't always work. Am I going to have to wait until one breaks? That could never happen. What do you think is the real reason why he doesn't want anymore. I only want one more. I couldn't handle more than two. I've got to try for my little girl that I've always wanted. All his friends are telling him that it's easier with two than just one cause he will mellow down cause he will have someone to play with and not be bored. Is that true? Please, help me and give me some advice. I really want this but, don't know what to do. Thank you.

Having children should be something both agree on. The child means a lot of changes, since it means a new baby. And at this point, if you got pregnant now, one child @ 6 at birth, the older child 7 when child is 1, 10 when the child is 3, 15 when the other is 8, there is no one for them to play with, there is someone for the older to have to help babysit.

Is it easier with two? Sometimes, but not always. Every child is different and every child has a different temperament. It can be much harder with two if there is any jealousy involved, and unfortunately you don't find that out until the second one is born.

Now, as for him. Have you asked him to elaborate on why one is enough? Is it finances? Was he an only child or did he have siblings?

You really deserve a better answer than "one is enough." There has to be a reasoning behind it. It's kind of like asking your child "Why did you do that?" And they answer you with... "Because." It's just not a good enough reason.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Is it easier with two? Sometimes, but not always. Every child is different and every child has a different temperment. It can be much harder with two if there is any jealousy involved, and unfortunately you don't find that out until the second one is born.

Now, as for him. Have you asked him to elaborate on why one is enough? Is it finances? Was he an only child or did he have siblings?

You really deserve a better answer than "one is enough." There has to be a reasoning behind it. It's kind of like asking your child "Why did you do that?" And they answer you with...."Because." It's just not a good enough reason.

Thank you, I think I deserve a better answer to. Yes, my husband has 2 other brothers. From what I hear they have lots of fun memories. I want my son to have that. For Finances, I don't think that's a major problem. We both have family members that are always there to help if we needed it. I didn't think we could have made it with our first one and we did. I don't think it's money. I think it's because he would really have to grow up and stop buying stupid guys toys, you know what I mean? He has like 4 computers, who needs that many? It's just really getting to me that I can't have anything. When I brought up the baby thing and when he said No, I ask if we could have a dog, and his answer once again was No. It's not fair. I don't know how to bring the baby subject up without it turning into an agrument or possibly turning into something worse. I want another baby. Well, thank you for you advice. I appreciate it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Having children should be something both agree on. the child means alot of changes, since it means a new baby. And at this point, if you got pregnant now, one child @ 6 at birth, the older child 7 when child is 1, 10 when the child is 3, 15 when the other is 8, there is no one for them to play with, there is someone for the older to have to help babysit.

I don't agree with you. I wouldn't make my older child babysat if he didn't want to. I don't do anything or go anywhere. If I did the kid goes with me. I have no alone time. Plus, he is always telling me that he wants a baby sister. Are you an only child? I'm sorry if that happened to you but, I wouldn't do that to my kid. He deserves to have a normal childhood. No kid should have to grow up so early in age. But, thanks for writing anyway.