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-   -   My friend won't STOP LYING about stupid stuff. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=223488)

  • Jun 5, 2008, 10:04 AM
    mudderbox
    My friend won't STOP LYING about stupid stuff.
    Okay, so I have this friend who is always lying about stupid stuff but other then that she is a great friend and I love her. Every week it is like a new big lie. Even if you kind of question it she can just lie more. Always about stupid stuff which is obvious like finding out her dad isn't her real dad and her real dad is in prision for being an acsessory to murder for holding a guy against a wall while another guy shot him and just TONS of crap. I was watching a video from when her, another friend of ours and I went down town a few months ago with a video camera and she even lies in that like how she was getting this phone which was 200$ and look... She never got it. It gets annoying and we would love her more if she didn't lie. Most of the lies are really big and there is pretty much no truth to them. I'm starting to careless about her lying because it's never really over thing that would be backstabbing and I love her but I reall want to know what this is called and if there is a medical term. I don't know if she can control it or not.
  • Jun 7, 2008, 12:07 AM
    justcurious55
    I'm a little confused. Have you, or have you not confronted her about her lying? If you haven't next time she starts one, end it immediately with a simple "you don't need to lie to me."
  • Aug 27, 2008, 11:39 PM
    BetrayalBtCamp
    People that lie like that do because they don't feel worthy or lovable a lot of times or because too many truths in their lives have been too horrible for them to bear, so they make up a better life for themselves than they can actually have (like getting an expensive phone). And it sounds like she has some ruff stuff in her past like her bio dad being in prison that probably made her feel she doesn't want people to know the truth about some things in her life.

    It's not a good thing for her to do & will keep causing her problems all her life until she stops, which she probably won't be able to do without help, both some counseling & by you lovingly letting her know that she doesn't need to lie to you or anyone.

    Let her know you think she is a great friend & special & you love her too much to let her lie to you so to please stop. Tell her that you will give her a signal if you are with other people that she's going off in the wrong direction instead of toward the truth so you don't embarrass her (figure out a code word or phrase you can use). You will have to do that every time a lie pops up.

    It may hurt her feelings, but let her know you still want to be friends with her, just not to listen to the lies.

    She's lucky to have such a good friend like you!
  • Aug 28, 2008, 08:28 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Pathological versus Compulsive Liars - Truth About Deception

    Compulsive Lying - Truth About Deception
  • Aug 28, 2008, 04:33 PM
    N0help4u
    I agree she doesn't know how to tell the truth whether it is fear, habit, or whatever reasons she is craving some kind of attention. You should have a talk with her and ask her why she tells stories and tell her she would be a lot more appealing if she would be truthful and genuine. She may need counselling to break the habit. She may even be so far into her lies that she believes many of them herself and wouldn't know the truth if it smacked her in the face. I think she needs somebody that will talk to her honestly and let her know you support her in getting help.
  • Aug 20, 2010, 06:53 PM
    smoothtop
    MY roommate and I have been friends for akmost two decades and recently we rented a place together. Ever since then I cannot get a straight answer out of him. When I ask him a question I already know the truth to I still can't get the truth.What do I do?

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