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-   -   Sexual boredom? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=222860)

  • Jun 3, 2008, 03:41 PM
    BriiL713
    Sexual boredom?
    My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for a while, and I have a feeling that the normal things we do are starting to get boring... judging the fact he has a hard time keeping it up lately. I do this kissing, licking of the neck and ear, I tease him, I rub him, and every time it leads into the same stuff: the regular "man on top". Even when I am on top, he still does all the work. We preform oral, and we take part in all the "normal" foreplay activities, however, I just feel like we need something new.
    I need some ideas on how to spice it up, where I can be in control, and where I can make him want more... We need something fun and exciting to keep the physical aspect of our relationship hot and heavy... I want to surprise him... any ideas?
  • Jun 3, 2008, 04:00 PM
    CheekyChop20
    Mix it up with some role play, that's always hot.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 05:10 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Dozens of positoins, games, dress ups, only limited by imagination and your health
  • Jun 3, 2008, 05:29 PM
    Alty
    Read the Kama Sutra together, if that doesn't give you some ideas, I don't know what will.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 05:47 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Why are so many young people having problems with sex and it getting boring? I've been having sex with the same man for over 30 years and have not found it boring in the least.
    I think with all the "stuff" out there people think they are bored because they are being told they should be.
    When two people know and care about each other, things evolve in the bedroom without anybody having to tell you.
    That's my take on it and all I'll say.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 05:57 PM
    Romefalls19
    Everyone has already given a lot of examples and ideas, so I just can agree. Role-play, show up at his house in barely anything, tease him with texts. Anything is possible
  • Jun 3, 2008, 05:59 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
    Why are so many young people having problems with sex and it getting boring? I've been having sex with the same man for over 30 years and have not found it boring in the least.
    I think with all the "stuff" out there people think they are bored because they are being told they should be.
    When two people know and care about each other, things evolve in the bedroom without anybody having to tell you.
    That's my take on it and all I'll say.

    I know, what did we fight for in the 60's for the sexual revolution.
    I am a old "stick in the mud" man, but after all my years bored is not the word, At the younger age, it sounds like they are not combining the emotion with the physcial.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 06:18 PM
    JBeaucaire
    If your sexual interactions ARE the point, I understand the boredom. You need to not only be playful in the sack, you need to be playful in life. Men's libidos are greatly affected by their activity level.

    Men who play sports in a league on Saturday mornings are invariably more sexually energized later that day. Physically strenuous things you BOTH like should be added to your weekly regimen of activities... see if you don't notice a difference in your enjoyment of sex as well.

    Spontaneity also can't be undervalued. Same place and time, same sex. Possibly boring.

    But taking him for a long hike and jumping his bones in a remote but not entirely private spot... turn-on city!

    It wasn't romantic, but my wife once dragged me into a janitor's closet at a fully open and full of people school and we did it right there on the floor. Nasty? Heck yeah. I still remember it 20 years later.

    Secretly tease him sexually while out in public, and you could find a nicely out-of-control engine by the time you get home.

    You've been together long enough you should realize by now that you've stopped some of the fun and silly and sweet courting behavior that brought you together. Bring it back. Court your man again as if he wasn't a "sure thing".

    It's all in the attitude.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 06:28 PM
    Ash123
    It's MENTAL.

    2 ways to go:

    1) Be LESS available and make him work for you.That drives some guys crazy. Though, it is a bit manipulative.

    2) Be more creative... he MUST have fantasies and probably assumes you all have done it all... maybe you can whisper a few things to him he would NEVER have expected... or show him some things. I like this because If you connect mentally the sky is the limit.

    Dressing up, playing games, trying too hard only makes it worse if he is not hot for this all right now... so, if you don't see him getting into anything... back up and make him work... tease that boy.

    How old are you?

    Do you live together?

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