OK , as a lot of you know I was dumped about 4 weeks ago, I was heartbroken, espeicaly since it was done by text... anywhew, being the rebound type of guy I am I text a bunch of ex gfs... one of whom replied and wanted to meet up. Eventually we did tonight. I was very nervous since tbh, this is the girl I always believe was THE ONE!. and I'm so happy because she isn't! I know that sounds silly, but all she did was irrtate the life out of me. And all the little irritations I had in the past were maganified like mad tonight and when she left I wa slaughing my arse off talking to my friend going 'what the did I ever get so upset about!' hahahaha. So this means... I hope that one day ill feel the same about my current girlfriend who, right now I'm hurting over but I know just isn't right for loads of reasons. Anyone else had these moments of clarity?

s0 if you believed she was the one and she wasn't, maybe you'll get over your most recent ex faster!. thats awesome...

& I, many times have my moments of clarity where I see my ex and they relationship for for what they really are or were.. I feel great.. but then I get stupid again.. lol... it happens.. :D

Yea exactly. Like I know my most recent relationship wasn't right but I do miss her so much... but I know if I give it time I won't miss her so mucha and really know that its for the best!

It is for the best :) :D :)~

True- even though right now I miss her like mad! And can only remember the good times. Maybe that's it - maybe I should right down a list of things that used to annoy me about her. I was thinking about this yesterday, that we say that if we love someone we should except their flaws, be with them through thick and thin, but when we split from people we start telling ourselves that we were different and we both want and need different things... if that makes sense. I don't know, right now I'm just trying to find any old excuse to convince myself that this was for the best! Its so werid that though with the girl I saw yesterday, I had gotten over but always wondered 'what if' and after yesterdays encounter I will no longer, ever think that as I know that I could never have continued to be with this girl. Maybe I should write down a list of all the things then what annoyed me about my most recent girlfriend or start up a thread called THE LIST!. what do you think?

I think it won't work.Now.

What made the difference with the old girlfriend was TIME.Not the nagging stuff.That was always there.

I think it's cool and brave that you can love and bypass all the annoying stuff.There will always be annoying stuff with anyone.It goes for you,too.That's why one of my big questions is,when someone breaks up because of something like that,does it mean they never really loved you?. Or are they just not willing to put in the effort?.

I don't know...

Its absolutely true, you need to remember that when you split up with a girl its also the habit of seeing them all the time and having them call you and text you that you feel lost with out, its a lot of things changing all at once and its just a shock to your system, but you need to remember that you split up for a reason.

When you met up with this ex you didn't have any of the other feelings anymore of being lost and all there was was the feelings of annoyance that probably contributed to splitting up.

I think everyone has their moment of clarity and says to themselves "What was I thinkin" and everything falls into place. I also promote people making a list of bad things about their ex as it will keep you from making contact.

(QUOTE) That's why one of my big questions is,when someone breaks up because of something like that,does it mean they never really loved you?. Or are they just not willing to put in the effort?.

I don't know... [/QUOTE]

I comepletley agree as this is the reason me and my ex split. I basiclaly went into a cole paranoid mood which I haven't done since January, and she said she can't be with me like this... which makes me ask the same question the you said, did she ever really love me or is just not willing to put in the effort. Because they way I'm feeling now is that she didn't really love me as I would've put up with and did put up with all her annoying traits. I said to her 'look everyone has faults... this is mine.' she wouldn't have any of it!

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Originally Posted by srulik86

That's why one of my big questions is,when someone breaks up because of something like that,does it mean they never really loved you?..Or are they just not willing to put in the effort?..

I don't know...

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I think they may have loved you, but not enough to put in the effort..

I understand you guys feeling as though they didn't love you, or didn't want to put in the effort. But sometimes it becomes too much for the person, looking back, when I was at the time you are at now, sure I felt like that. But after 6 months, and a lot of healing and soul searching, I've realized it was just as hard for them to walk away as it is for you to let them go. They do love you, will always love you and did at one point want it to work out but the stresses got to them. You will come to that point soon enough, but just remember it will get better and sunny days are ahead.

I made alist today of all the things that annoyed me or that was wrong with her... and after it all it all seemed pointless, since the biggest thing was the most obvious... she doesn't love you anymore!

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Originally Posted by damaged

I think they may have loved you, but not enough to put in the effort..

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I agree with this.