I'm an alcoholic, haven't stayed clean for more than a couple of days, what's life like without drink how do you cope, sober today and already I'm getting paranoid about what I've done, any help would be great, my mind is in overdrive just want to get drunk and hide, but I know I have to stop, :eek:

Well, therapy is a great place to start. A support group. These are great motivators to help you stay sober. I would definitely recommend them. I would also start exercising. Walking a few miles every night. It will allow you to work off stress, etc. Plus it gets you healthy.

How long have you been dependent on alcohol. How long has it been that you have identified yourself as an alcoholic.

14 years abusing it, the last 7/8 really badly lost total control, still sober today but its hard really trying to stay positive, but feel like I'm failing, reality is kicking in and its scarey.

The people at AA are great, there is no magic cure, It is hard but what you have done before is the same, sober or drunk, you don't change the past by drinking, merely start new bad memories

Congratulations wayne in admitting you are an alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery! Admitting you have a problem. Now all you need to do is find the solution. There is a solution in AA. AA teaches you how to live without alcohol - alcoholics do not know how to live without alcohol, we need step my step guidance! Your racing head, guilt and remorse, paranoia and wanting to run away and hide is what is called the disease of alcohol-ISM and this is what needs treated. Alcohol will not cure your alcoholism, it will only make it worse! That is the trap you are caught in. AA is the way out. Seek help now, you can do it. Find a meeting and ask for help & u will be OK! Trust me I have been there!

Keep staying positive, stick with group like AA, or any group where you feel a positive link. You know you have a problem , you just need to talk to people with similar problems where you can work out issues. Don't give up hope, there's a lot of help out there, especially on the web, if not in you general area. Check out sites and/or start talking to people! Step number 1.

This is not advice but merely a story of what I experienced. Take from it what you will if there is anything of use,

I started drinking about a bottle a day when I went through a tough break up... truth be told I got slaughtered just two nights ago. The thing is that you think its helping but its only a temporary fix. I've done this so many times that it seems the only way to cope and eventually I found I was just drinking every night, as it was easier to pass out at night after struggling the whole day with my emotions. The thing is I need take a stand for myself now because the thing that caused the pain (emotional) is long gone and I'm left with the sh1t. Got to focus the very little time I have left here on ME and start enjoying life, knowing that there are people out there who if I allow them will hurt me again.
But its up to me how long I dwell on this. And I realise now that that is the key. I've always wondered how people can just brush things off as if they don't care... I know how important and effective this is now in terms of self preservation. I understand now that they were not heartless but merely trying to keep themselves from falling into that same trap I allowed myself to fall into. OK enough about me... :)

The point I'm making is that it takes a conscious decision to love yourself and protect your own heart, because you should always be number one in your own life even if you have children because if you can't be number one they will learn to be 2nd best too.

Just get up and go... AA is an option they will help you uncover the ability in you that you already posses to beat this thing...

Get in tocuh with some group, church, friend, organization, web site, just talk with someone, who understands and can give you the supposrt you so need!

The good news is, it gets better. In fact, amazingly better, but that takes time. You have to not drink (and for an alcoholic, that's really weird.) You have to get really, really honest with yourself, about yourself, all the time.

Go to AA and talk your guts out. Don't worry what they think because you are helping them stay sober with every word, and they know it. Don't keep secrets. Sometimes it's inappropriate to tell a certain person or any person. Then you tell someone else, it might be a neutral friend, it may have to be your dog, or the prayer plant, or even your journal. Drinking is all about hiding as you know. Come out of hiding, share yourself with the world, one day at a time.

Even if you have to start over, it's so worth it. Alcohol is a very nasty friend. Kick him to the curb and tell him to "shut it."