I am the non-custodial parent of a 14year old daughter who spends 4-5 days per week living with me and my family. She is refusing to be with her dad because he has been psychologically and emotionally abusing her. I am now filing for full custody.Meanwhile when she is with her dad he is driving her crazy to the point of saying "i'm going to kill myself if I don't get out of here!" What other ways to speed up the process and what are the chances she would be heard in court! I live in New York State ulster county area. Help!

The chances are very good that she will be heard in court. A judge is very likely to listen to a 14 yr old. However, the judge will make the decision. The non custodial parent has to initiate the request for a change and proof will have to be offered of the father's abuse and unfitness.

You can speed the process by documenting the claims of abuse, having a psychologists evaluate the daughter etc.

In most states that I know of she is old enough to be heard. However, that dosen't mean she "chooses" as some people think. As scott pointed out the judge will ultimately make the decision where she lives. If you can get her to a phychiatrist before the court date and bring something from the phychiatrists office stating what he/she found that would be very helpful because the more evidence you have the better. While judges do look take what the child says into consideration they also know what it's like to be a teenager and know that a lot of drama happens during that time of life so sometimes claims of abuse are taken with a grain of salt.

Not my area of expertises, but my steapsister went though this, the age in most states is 12, and 14 in some, 16 in a few. But most likely even if she can't testify she can still speak her case somewhat to the judge.

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Originally Posted by Shaylynn Denilo

Not my area of expertises, but my steapsister went though this, the age in most states is 12, and 14 in some, 16 in a few. But most likely even if she can't testify she can still speak her case somewhat to the judge.

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The age for what? To testify? To decide whom to live with? To request a change in custody?

To my knowledge a child (defined as under 18) cannot decide with who to live. That decision is ALWAYS in the hands of a judge. Some states provide guidelines for the judge about how much weight they can put on the child's testimony. But the decision is always the judges.