Ask Me Help Desk - How do I get her back?

Hi. My name is Nathan and I am 18 years old. I have been dating an 18 year old girl named Mandy for two years. Recently I broke up with her for no reason at all, except that was at an emotional stage because of a medication I had been taking for my face. Up until that point our life together had been amazing. I tried explaining to her that it was all a mistake. But she said that she didn't know if she wanted me back anyway, because she had taken a 'break' from me a month earlier and during that time, I told an old girlfriend that I liked her, but she had a boyfriend and it really didn't mean anything, I was just looking for companionship. But anyway Mandy now says she can't trust me because I lied to her about liking this girl. But I did not lie, I do not like her. Anyway, after that little tid-bit we tried getting back together but she said it didn't feel right yet, she needed more time. Shortly after she decided to start 'dating' this guy. Well the other day they decided to kiss and he started to touch her and she made him stop and she left because all she could think about the whole time was me, and she proceeded to call me after that to tell me she thought of me. So the next day we cuddled on her bed and watched movies, but she said she still needed time and space to decide what she wanted. She had told the guy that she just wanted to be friends, but now she is 'dating' him again. I want her back so badly, and I do not know what to do. Im trying to give her space but it is very hard to do, I just miss her so much. Does anyone have any advice on what to do or how to get her back? It would be greatly appreciated for the help. Sorry so long.. :)
Im a leo, and she is a Aries, does that have anything to do with this?

You are only 18 years old. You have many years left in you. It sounds to me like she is playing games with you. Try spending your time with school, work or a hobby. If she wants you bad enough, she will come to you. If not, it was not meant to be. If it was not meant to be, I know it will hurt, but time heals and you will find someone else. I hope this helps. Kirsti

You two are well past the period when "methods" will work on each other. She can no more change your mind about something you want than you can change hers.

After two years, you have to simply believe what each other say, when it is said. Right now you still care for each other but don't actually feel that strong bond/commitment that is central to easing through situations like you're in right now. That's too bad, but it's good info to have.

I'm not going to say flat out that you're doomed, maybe not. But there are no tricks here. You know each other too well.

All you can do is be a rock and wait.

If you spent as much time, and effort, into something productive for yourself, and your future, you would be bothered by what a confused teen-ager is doing.
She is doing her thing without you, so keep your dignity, and self respect by leaving her alone, and accepting she is done with your relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGS1975

You are only 18 years old. You have many years left in you. It sounds to me like she is playing games with you. Try spending your time with school, work or a hobby. If she wants you bad enough, she will come to you. If not, it was not meant to be. If it was not meant to be, I know it will hurt, but time heals and you will find someone else. I hope this helps. Kirsti

Honestly you should follow her advice that's the best giveable advice, if you really do want to get her back pm me

I agree.. ur still very young.. and she knows how you feel, if she loves you she will come back.. and if she doesn't, well her loss.. you will find someone better... Do like AGS says: concentrate on school,work, hobbies.. It'll all get better in time!

The worst thing you can do is crowd a person who says they need space. If you love her, the best thing is to let her have her space. Even though she's "dating " the other guy, she did let you know that she was thinking of you. Maybe dating this guy is her way of testing you to see if you truly want her back and if she really wants you back. Just be her friend until she gives you her answer. Don't pressure her because the person you get back may not be the person you want.

Zell I would like to PM you, but it won't let me, you pm me

First of all, did you read the first four stickies of this Relationsips Section? If not, then it would be a good idea to do so. A lot of people who went through similar situations, sometimes more than once in their lives, have given a lot of thought to share their experience and advice.

You are not alone in this - you belong to 99% of the human race with emotions - the other one percent are cold-hearted and unemotional.

If I had just 5 cents for every time I hear or read 'I want him/her back' I would be a millionairess.

Fact is that at your age, you and her will go through changes - both physical and emotional. That is called growth. And if you don't grow together, i.e. common interests, common goals and a clear commitment as to plans for a future together, you will probably go your separate ways and go on. The only guarantee is that we learn from each experience, and during this time we should also get to know ourselves and what our specific likes and dislikes - and room for improvements look like.

The worst thing you can do is to search for blame.. or lame excuses... there are none, it's just a fact of life and we all have to accept it. But sometimes ego gets in the way and prevents us from growing and learning.

Again, at your age, learning about closeness does not necessarily mean the one and only love of your life.

She is being honest with you, now it's time to be honest with yourself. She's ready to move on - so should you be - without looking to blame or looking for ways to get her back.

So, once you've read the stickies, and recognized some facts about yourself, get back with us and we will help you in your plan for the healing process.

Starsigns.. well, IMO, are guidelines for the individual - and not to guide you in finding the right partner. Each sign has traits that we can identify with as we get to know one another - specially ourselves, but no matter what you read or hear, the final choices are always your's to make.

So don't look for 'outside' influence to decide your future, but look deep inside and watch your own growth with the fascination of an 18 year old and not a 50 year old... All options are still open to you.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif

BTW, I'm 57, female and Aquarius and been divorced, had several non-beneficial relationships and I promise you that you will survive this no matter how it winds up.