Originally Posted by jenn_r21
okay...
from the beginning...
i went to cuba with 5 girls for a vacation (7 days) about 3 weeks ago. before i left, i was struggling with my confidence when it came to guys. i was becoming frustrated because i felt like i had so much to give in a relationship, but i wasn't finding the right guy. i have no problem meeting boys, but i always seem to attract the wrong ones, and the ones that are great, i'm not interested in. even though i'm only 20 years old, i was beginning to feel as though there was no hope for me. before my trip, i decided to put that all behind me, wipe the slate clean. i remembered that i have never been the type of girl to need a relationship, plus, it would happen when i least expected it.
i though the cuba trip was going to be a relaxing time away from home with some of my closest friends. i knew we would be partying, but i didn't expect to be meeting any boys, because all of the girls have long-term boyfriends whom they are committed to. i was okay with the trip just being a girls week!
to my surprise and everyone else's, i fell in love in cuba. now before you go jumping to conclusions, hear me out.
i met JM the second night we were in cuba. his first language is french, and mine is english. he does however speak english, but he has trouble. i, on the other hand, only know the basic stuff in french (colours, numbers, months, animals, etc.).. so therefore i couldn't carry on a conversation in french, so if he wanted to speak with me he had to talk in english.
at first, i thought it was just a fun fling thing for the week, but he turned out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. we made this amazing connection in cuba, and it wasn't because of the sun, sand and tropical view... it was much more then that.. and we both knew we couldn't just let this pass us by.
i have felt in love before, but never like this. we both decided that we wanted to be exclusive and that we would try a long distance relationship. he's 23 and is starting his career as a lawyer. he lives about 14 hours from where i live.
i know you are all thinking i'm crazy, but have an open mind.. sometimes you find love in the weirdest places. i have always had a hard time with relationships, but i had finally found someone that i cared so much about and i had someone love me like i've never been loved before. how could i just let that go? and we both knew from the beginning that if we tried this, it would be extremely difficult because 1) the language barrier 2) long distance 3) we didn't have a lot of time to get to know each other.
anyways, the week after i got home from cuba, we talked every day and i fell even more in love with him and it made be confirm why i was putting myself through this. along with falling more in love with him, i really realized how hard it was going to be, so i decided that i needed to go visit him in his home town.. see him in his environment, to make sure this was real. i went for about a week.. i met his family (whom don't speak a lot of english) and he showed me around his hometown. we had a great time, i love his family, we got to know each other a little better and i confirmed that these feelings i feel are real. we talked about all of my worries (i'm a natural worrier, and he's not), and the best part about everything was that it wasn't perfect. we are both very opinionated and we had a couple of disagreements and we got a feel for each other's personality.
i love him so much and i want this to work more then i have ever wanted anything, honestly. i don't mind putting a lot of effort in and i know it's going to be hard. but i'm worried. i'm worried about a lot of things (even after we've talked about them)...
here they are:
1) the language barrier - i am going to learn how to speak french, but it's not going to happen over night, so for the time being we have to speak in english. he sometimes gets tired of speaking english because he always has to think about what he's saying and how's saying it. he also has a difficult time expressing himself in english sometimes.
2) the distance - he's going to be living in his hometown for the next 6 months - he has no choice, he has signed a contract until the end of november. but he has expressed interest after those 6 months in moving to my hometown.
3) he has a full time job during the summer, and i do too... so i worry about how often we will get to see each other.
4) communication while he's away - i'm a very expressive person and i have no problem expressing my feelings, but he does in english, so sometimes i get frustrated..
5) i worry that his feelings are going to fade for me if he doesn't see me, even though he's so positive about this and believe we can do this.
now you may be wondering if i'm worrying about all of that, maybe i should just end it? i don't think i can just do that because i'm worried, i care way too much about him, and when we are together we are so good!
i don't mind hearing criticism, but if you're going to tell me to dump him, don't bother giving me your advice... all i want is for people's opinions, generally on the situation.. mayeb someone can give me a different outlook or something... i just want to hear other people's opinions, other then my friends... please and thank you!
-jennxox
