Okayy so I'm 17 and I'm really mature I have a job I've been at for almost 2 years I have my own car that I boughtt not my parents I'm basically very independent and I take care of myselff. I am a virgin but I'm emotional & physically ready to "lose itt" the only thing stopping me is my mom threatens me if she finds out I'm not a virgin she will dead me and kick me out & I know she will get physical & probably hurt me. She always tells me how girls are hoes if they aren't virgins even if they have been wit their boyfriends for likke 2 years... I don't know & she always says she will take me to the doctors to see if I'm a virgin or not.. I'm readyy though should I trust my own instincts?

First let me commend you on still being a virgin at 17. That takes a lot of restraint to say no when your body is yelling, "YES"!

Once you "lose it" with your boyfriend, what happens then with the next boyfriend and the next? You lose your goal of maintaining your virginity.

Once lost, never regained!

I was a virgin when I married and I have never regretted it. Making love to the man you marry has a depth to it that you won't know until you experience it. If you choose to "lose it" now, you will never know the depth that you could have known of the oneness that comes with coming together in marriage as one with no excess emotional baggage.

Your choice should be based on the standards you set for yourself rather than fear of what you mother will do. If you respect yourself, others will also. Choose well! Your choice will change you or keep you.

Jrebel, I could not have said it better myself. Both my wife and I wish that we had saved ourselves for each other.

If you do choose to "do it", make sure you use protection, get on the pill etc. because the only form of birth control that is 100% is abstinence. If you are afraid that your mom will find out about the pill, most towns have a free clinic for people under 18, and will give you free birth control and condoms. It is your choice, but make sure you use protection if you do choose this.

What's another year or two, if you've made it this far?

Wait until you are no longer living in your mother's house, in my opinion.

I wished I would have waited. I pretty sure you and your boyfriend already have a deep connection without sex and your both can wait if your weather th storm this long. It's good that you have your pritories in order, most people your age don't or some are even older, keep doing what your doing because you're a very responsible young lady and if you continue this way it tells a lot about your future.

If you decide to do it go to a clinic to get everything you need and advice on how to protect yourself. I wish you well.

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Originally Posted by lostsoul29

I am a virgin but im emotional & physically ready to "lose itt"

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But are you emotionally, physically and financially ready to have a child? There is no 100% sure form of birth control. One should ONLY engage in sexual intercourse if they are prepared to have a child.

Alkso there is no mention here about who you want to lose it to. No mention of a longterm boyfriend or whatever.

First you need to ask yourself what are your motives for 'wanting to lose it'?
Doing it isn't about maturity level or it is time because I am 17 or I am 27.
It is about committing yourself to a relationship with someone that you love very much.
If it is because you feel that you are missing out on what most other teens are doing
Then DON'T!
If you are just wanting to do it with the first guy that you have an interest in and have the chance to do it with then DON'T!
You need to just wait until you find someone that you are truly in love with and the time is right. Jrebel said it so right! Sex can lose its meaning, emotion and appeal when it is not with someone you truly love.

Time for you to cut the umbilical cord, man. Your mother is lying so she can *control* your sexuality! You're gong to have to put her in her place(calmly) soon(she's too intrusive); that is what a *man* would do. That frees you up to have a woman in place of mom, like a man.

You will be 18... this is a good time to begin your sex life.

Good Luck to you... lots of pitfalls out there to avoid!

Best wishes, :)

Only thing is--SHE probably doesn't want to be a man, Choux :)

WHAT? Lol!!

Sorry, girl, keep your virginity till you're 21 lest you get in over your head and drive your life into a ditch. :)

Yep I agree with Choux's last reply (have to spread rep)
You will know at what time and age and guy you are ready
Just make sure your motives are right. Not because you want to defy your mother's control. What she says is her opinion and her best interest for you. But when it comes down to it she can preach, nag or try to control you all she wants BUT YOU WILL do what you will do whenever regardless so let her vent her views and leave it go as a non issue.

Yes after you are about 21 then trust your own judgemennt ( which will still most often be wrong)

Not the way to express their feelings but at 17 it is still best to wait

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Originally Posted by shapes

If your thinking about going away to college then you can wait till then.

hell thats what i did

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Is college where you learned to spell and punctuate? Your various posts contradict each other, by the way. I note sometimes you're in high school and now you're in college - which is it?