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-   -   Confused on Decision (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=222095)

  • Jun 1, 2008, 01:10 PM
    hsheri
    Custody
    I wanted to get sole custody of my daughter but I'm thinking of changing my mind and giving him joint custody because I'm thinking that we might get back together in the future.
    He has apologized a millions times. I have court tomorrow and I feel like telling the judge that I don't want to go through this anymore. Is that even an option at this point?

    If he has joint custody does he have to bring my daughter back to me at a certain time?
    Does he have the right to say I can't go on vacation with her?

    If we have joint custody and later work on our relationship do we have to go to court again to be together?

    What's the difference between joint legal custody and joint physical custody?

    If I give him joint custody and later decide I want to get sole custody can I do that with good reason?
  • Jun 1, 2008, 01:50 PM
    tickle
    If you feel that strongly, and he does too, yes it is an option, always an option to stay together when there is a child involved. Voice your feeling in front of the judge and maybe it will all come together for all three of you.
    Romantic sounding, yes, but that's okay too. Good luck, hsheri !
  • Jun 1, 2008, 02:23 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    You can move in together anytime you want, but then you will still be under the agreement, and if there is a child support order you still have to pay.
  • Jun 1, 2008, 02:34 PM
    cdad
    Depends really on the relationship as it existed before the orders came into place and what they will be after. Example.. if you were married and filed for legal separation and then went to court on the children then reconcile. You are no longer bound by the court orders but you should still file papers stating your back together. Then if something were to happen you have to do it all over again. If you are not married then even if you live under the same roof you will still be liable for child support no matter what because because boyfriend / girlfriend relationship is outside of marriage ( a legal and binding contract between 2 people )
  • Jun 1, 2008, 02:36 PM
    cdad
    What you could do is ask for a postponement. AKA time to reconcile and if not you won't have to file anything more. If you do reconcile you will have to file withdrawl papers with the court.
  • Jun 1, 2008, 02:39 PM
    cdad
    Can you define what your really talking about because your question is vague. There are 2 types of custody.. legal and physical. It would help if you clarify what your situation is.
  • Jun 1, 2008, 03:24 PM
    stinawords
    Just look at her other posts and you will know what her situation is. All of her questions really need to be combined into one and it will be easier to answer.
  • Jun 1, 2008, 03:33 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Please, please stop making new threads, esp since they make no since if you don't read the other ones. This is not like a blog where all your posts get joined together automatically.

    I have merged all of the posts so people can understand more what you are saying


    *** with custody if it is joint there should be set times, weeks, days for him to have the child There is also joint legal custody which is not the same as joint phycial custody.
  • Jun 1, 2008, 04:01 PM
    stinawords
    If you have joint physical custody then as said there should be set times that each of you will have her. During which times, unless the judge orders otherwise, you can each do whatever you want with her. That means if you want to take her on vacation it wouldn't be a problem as long as it is during your time with her, you can't just say "hey, we're leaving you'll get her next time around". And at the same time, especially if you have joint legal custody, he can't say you can't take her on vacation (as long as it's during your time). If you get back together as in dating/living together the same rules apply because just dating/living together isn't the same a marriage as calif pointed out.
  • Jun 1, 2008, 04:38 PM
    hsheri
    Thanks for your feedback everyone
  • Jun 1, 2008, 07:57 PM
    oneguyinohio
    Actually, you may or may not agree to it, but ultimately the court would be the one to make the decision either way. If you have a valid reason not to want to go along with the joint custudy, then you owe it to your children to protect them by bringing the matter to the courts attention. If it is only for your convenience, that is a totally different situation.

    I'm not making any judgements about you because I do not know the case.
  • Jun 1, 2008, 07:57 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    First it is not always what you "give" him, it may well get it in court if you can't prove why he should not. But yes if you can prove he is a threat, or if he is a danger to your child you can change it later
  • Jun 1, 2008, 08:02 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Ok, one more time, PLEASE..! Stop starting new questions and threads that are related to this main question, and wouild not make sense without reading the other ones.

    I have merged the questions again. If you want to ask a follow up question, post it as a answer to your question.

    All of this merging is starting to confuse this thread now.

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