Ask Me Help Desk - Unmarried, fathers wants joint custody. Father did not sign birth certificate?

I am an unmarried women with a one month old son. Sons father and I are not together anymore and he did not sign the birth certificate. I am breast feeding and I have son on my insurance. Father wants joint custody and visitation... Will the courts allow him joint custody or not since he did not sign the certificate, but he is the biological father? Also if I say I would like joint custody between us what visitations will he be limited to, and could he end up taking full custody.

First he will have to go to court and request that the judge order a DNA test. Once the results come back positive then the judge will order support and visitation. Don't worry about him taking your son away from you he would have to prove that you are an unfit mother to do that. The visitation will start small and gradually he will get more and more leading up to weekends and more but that generally won't be until the child hits the 12month mark.

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Originally Posted by malikpooh

I am an unmarried women with a one month old son. Sons father and I are not together anymore and he did not sign the birth certificate. I am breast feeding and I have son on my insurance. Father wants joint custody and visitation...Will the courts allow him joint custody or not since he did not sign the certificate, but he is the biological father? Also if I say I would like joint custody between us what visitations will he be limited to, and could he end up taking full custody.

Never agree to joint custody! I am in the same boat as you. If he gets joint custody then he will not have to pay you child support- This is a Fathers' Righters' game.

You need to have sole custody(physical and legal) so this way you can make all the decisions. Tell the courts you want him involved and once the child is weened then he can see him more. According to the PACT program and one of their top instructors who is a psycologist- says that a child up to age 1 1/2 should have 30 minute visits 2-3 times a week. After that then go based on what you both feel. Overnights should NOT happen until the child is school age or age 6.

Good luck.

Well first sorry but there are a lot of men who want to be part of the child's life, and there is no law that says that the mother should automatically be the parent with custody.

What normally happens at birth is the father may get joint custody with the mother having primary physcial custody, at least till the child is a certain age ( 2 to 4) at which time the father can ask for joint phsyical custody also.

So unless he is some criminal, drug user or some threat to the child, yes in many courts he will have rights to custody.

And I am sorry at the one poster, but the father will get weekends at least very soon after 6 months or so at least, and have the child for weeks during the summer at the least. There will be no 30 min visits that is just plain silly to start with, since it has to happen in the moms home.
And there will always be over night long before 6 in fact it is serous not to, since the child will not be used to going with their father.

So get used to the idea he will be part of the child's life and he will get at least visits that allow him to take the child to his home and latter if he stays invovled he can well get joint custody, as he should as the father.

Being on the birth certificate has no bearing at all, all he has to do is prove by DNA he is the father.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Well first sorry but there are alot of men who want to be part of the childs life, and there is no law that says that the mother should automaticly be the parent with custody.

What normally happens at birth is the father may get joint custody with the mother having primary physcial custody, at least till the child is a certain age ( 2 to 4) at which time the father can ask for joint phsyical custody also.

So unless he is some criminal, drug user or some threat to the child, yes in many courts he will have rights to custody.

And I am sorry at the one poster, but the father will get weekends at least very soon after 6 months or so at least, and have the child for weeks during the summer at the least. There will be no 30 min visits that is just plain silly to start with, since it has to hapen in the moms home.
And there will always be over night long before 6 in fact it is serous not to, since the child will not be used to going with thier father.

So get used to the idea he will be part of the childs life and he will get at least visits that allow him to take the child to his home and latter if he stays invovled he can well get joint custody, as he should as the father.

Being on the birth certificate has no bearing at all, all he has to do is prove by DNA he is the father.

OK thanks for the advice... would say though I do want him in his life evan though things with us are not good, I love the fact that he wants to stay in his life and I love that and want it to... fyi, because if you meant to sound like an or not you did...

I just had my mediation hearing today and I am in a similar situation. The dad was not there through my entire pregnancy or the birth. After my daughter was born he all of a sudden wants 50-50 custody, even though he never calls to see how she's doing and has only seen her 6 times and she's 2 and a half months old. I am convinced he is asking for joint custody just to make me mad. GOOD NEWS: The mediator informed me that a baby who is under the age of 18 months cannot have any overnight visitation with the father. He can only have short but frequent visits, for instance, 3-4 times a week for 1-2 hours. 50-50 custody is not possible when a baby is that young. I was also worried about leaving my daughter alone with her dad because of his lack of experience and his threats that he was going to take her from me. I expressed this to the mediator and she said the visits will be supervised either by me or by his parents since they babysit her while I'm at work. I am breastfeeding so I was also worried that he was going to take her for extended periods because that's what he was pushing for, but regardless of the breastfeeding, a baby under a year and a half old cannot be taken from the mother for more than 1-2 hours at a time, unless she was unfit and the baby would be better off with the dad. I live in California so I don't know if that's just the policy here, but it should be like that everywhere. Hope this helps!

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Originally Posted by jaimmelynn

I just had my mediation hearing today and I am in a similar situation. The dad was not there through my entire pregnancy or the birth. After my daughter was born he all of a sudden wants 50-50 custody, even though he never calls to see how she's doing and has only seen her 6 times and she's 2 and a half months old. I am convinced he is asking for joint custody just to make me mad. GOOD NEWS: The mediator informed me that a baby who is under the age of 18 months cannot have any overnight visitation with the father. He can only have short but frequent visits, for instance, 3-4 times a week for 1-2 hours. 50-50 custody is not possible when a baby is that young. I was also worried about leaving my daughter alone with her dad because of his lack of experience and his threats that he was going to take her from me. I expressed this to the mediator and she said the visits will be supervised either by me or by his parents since they babysit her while I'm at work. I am breastfeeding so I was also worried that he was going to take her for extended periods of time because that's what he was pushing for, but regardless of the breastfeeding, a baby under a year and a half old cannot be taken from the mother for more than 1-2 hours at a time, unless she was unfit and the baby would be better off with the dad. I live in california so I don't know if that's just the policy here, but it should be like that everywhere. Hope this helps!

Im going to respond to this even though you tagged this on an old post. As far as the law goes there is no such thing. And if that is what the mediator told you they should be reported then fired. As far as your breastfeeding that doesn't hold as much weight as it used to. You can express and save or you can switch to bottle feeding. It's a shame if what your saying is true and a slap in the face to fathers in California.