OK, so it's a long story but I'm going to try to sum it up. I'm 20, he's 22... weve been together since high school, got engaged last year and moved in together. That was a HUGE step for me because I always said id never live with someone before I married them, but I let him talk me into it. Don't get me wrong, he a good guy, I mean a really good guy. He's never abused me and has amazing morals. He takes time out of his day to help strangers and would literally give the shirt off his back to anyone who needed it. I know he loves me, but latley we've been fighting, and I seems to be the same fight over and over and over again. I keep saying that I need to give it time and it'll get better, and it does, but then we fight again. Its always over stupid stuff, so stupid that I can't even really name it. This may be selfish but I'm a princess (or so my daddy tells me so) and I deserve to be treated like one. I'm so good to him, and I don't feel like I get the same treatment back. I DO EVERYTHING , FROM HOUSEKEEPING TO LAUNDRY TO PAYING THE BILLS, and he does the dishes. I'm just so afraid that things will get better, well get married, and then will start heading south again. How am I suppost to know if I should marry him? I feel stuck. I'm afraid to leave him and start over again, being alone. I just don't feel like he gives me the attention I need. I'm a HOPELESS ROMANTIC, and he has "no time or room in his life for romance." I feel like I've learned to live with it. I Don't WANT TO SETTLE FOR HIM JUST BECAUSE We've BEEN TOGETHER FOR SOOOO LONG, but I feel like I don't have the balls to leave. Latley I find myself fantasizing about being with this guy I know from school, which I TOTALLY uncharacteristic of me. Please help me, I'm so lost and have NO ONE to ask for help.

I think you just answered your own question... If you are having the thought that you might be settling and are just afraid that you have to start over than you have to get out of it. You are 20 years old, so young with so much time to start something new. Would you rather start over now or 5 years from now after you get married and really realize it isn't going to work.

I am 4 weeks into the break up of a 4 year relationship (I am 22). And while I am heart broken over it, I am still really excited to one day be deeply, romantically in love again.

Never settle, you will always live to regret it...

I think that if your fear of being alone is the only reason as to why you want to stay with him then I suggest not being with him. It will not only hurt him but it you as well. You need to become confident with yourself to say 'I can do this on my own. I don't need a man to make me happy.'

If you are having doubts now, then those doubts will more then likely turn worse if you get married. I'm talking divorce. You don't want that. It can get nasty.

>>>>>>"no time or room in his life for romance."


Were these his words or how you think he feels? If his words, and he knows it is important to you, give this much consideration. Fighting over little things, that you can't even name, is often indicative of a larger issue that you may be hesitant to bring up... perhaps wanting to avoid a confrontation because you already know what the answers will be. You can't sweep your doubts under the rug and hope things will get better.
If you can both openly and honestly discuss the situation... really listen to each other about what each of you wants and needs in a relationship, then decide if you can give that to each other or not... you might find things can turn around. If either of you can't, or won't, do that... there's your answer. Accept how things are, because they won't likely change, or cut your losses now... scary thought? Yes indeed... painful? Certainly... but it will free you both up to find the sort of relationships you both really want. If you do decide it just won't go how you would like it to... know that many have gone through the same thing... it is not fun, but you will be wiser on the other side, and it will get better.