I met him April fourth, at a concert. May second we started going out. But, we only hung out twice. I have been dating him for a month now, and I don't even know him. We talk on the phone, but its boring and I don't like it. I tried to break up with him, and he begged me not to. So, I didn't. Of course. I just want us to be friends, but I don't think it will happen, because I'm his second girlfriend and he won't let me go. I like being single, where I can talk to all the guys and flirt. Then go home and not regret me hugging someone. I don't know how to dump him, without him getting all mad and not being my friend. Like I said before, I don't really know him. So, I don't know what to say, or how he would act. My friend told me that he cuts himself, and I think I have seen some marks. I don't want him to do that because of me. Someone please help. I don't know what to do. And I don't want to make him sad ):

Who cares how he reacts. Whether he gets mad or does not want to let you go. Too bad for him. The longer you leave it the harder it will be.
You clearly state you do not want to go out with him. That is it. Make it known to him. Whether he is sad or not is not the point here. Stop pretending to like him and finally tell him the truth. No matter how much he begs or whatever.

IF YOU DO NOT REALLY KNOW HIM, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE. IF HE CUTS HIMSELF THAT IS HIS ISSUE AND HE WILL DO IT NO MATTER WHAT.

Any kinds of problems that will arise in his life he will cut himself but he needs to learn how to deal with things better. It is not up to you to do that for him.

You have to accept sooner rather than later that you can't accept responsibility for other people's actions. That you care about him enough to be concerned is very noble. But you can't lie to him, you just can't.

I suggest the straight approach, tell him you're not going to be bf/gf any more and then NOT run away. Stay there and interact for awhile on other things as long as you can. It's something.

If you can't bring yourself to that approach, you maybe could try scaring him away. I'm not sure how best to do that, but you might. You're looking for several things about yourself or your environment you use to make being your b/f tough to keep doing. This could be a LOT of work, I've seen it done, it's just not easy.

Just telling him and letting him start to get over you now, that's still my best advice.

Yeah I was seeing somebody which seemed to revolve around boring phone conversations once as well. I got him to stop contacting me with a series of increasingly weird and abstract text messages about fish. It worked and amused me greatly at the time.

If you think about it you never see each other and you don't really know him- so it's not really a relationship anyway. You won't be breaking up with him as much as telling him how it is.

As for the self harm- he do or not do that anyway, it's not your problem. Good luck, you'll wonder why you were worried and why it took so long once your out and FREE!

You are not responsible of his actions. He cuts himself not because of you but because he has problems that he must deal with. He sounds controlling to me.

You are on this world for you not for anybody else. If you do not like him then it makes no sense to be with him.

All right, this is your best advice:
a) He is not your responsibility; nobody is but yourself.
b) If you don't hurt him now, you will wound him much more in the future (to cure your guilty conscience)
c) He will be MUCH happier being with a girl who is as lame as him.
d) Break it off calmly, despite any given reaction, and don't listen to him. Listen to yourself talking while you're breaking up with him (although I wouldn't even consider this a relationship); you should actually listen to yourself, and pride in how good you're doing at it.
e) You will encounter many men and women with similar problems in the future, and from then on, you can help them be more confident.

It seems like you have a very guilty conscience, but if it helps: you are doing a bad, bad thing to him by staying with him. And even more so... to yourself, whom matters far more. :) It will be a major relief when you get it over with.
OH, and don't ever let him contact you again, because the whole thing will start over, and you won't be helping him to get over you, and begin a happier life by speaking to him (yes, even as a friend, I'm sorry to say).
If you feel this guilty after one month, imagine when he starts giving you gifts, and believes you've grown a stronger connection. Once you reject this first one, you'll realize, everything you do has a good purpose.
All the best :)
( by the way, if he tells you anything negative, remember not to listen to his actual words and their meaning... because you don't know what he means when you do not actually know him. And if he asks why, just tell him you are not interest him, just like that... not telling the truth or being too nice will send him right back in a week!)

I had a relationship like that.. he would fake having seisures every time we fight or every time I broke up with him it is hard to brake up with someone like that because they are so controlling but you have to do it as soon as posible before things get worse. I had to deal with my ex for almost two years because I was too scared. I did it the wrong way I guess but it still work.. every time he would call I wouldn't pick up or pick up the phone and tell him I was really busy doing homework and that I was going to call him later and later never came until I told him that I needed to talk to him I was going to tell him that we needed a break but he just guess,, he said. Your breaking up with me right? And I said yes I´m sorry.. he cry so much but believe me they do get over with after a while.. so better do it soon

I dun have to tell you that you are in a very tanggled web with a sensitive guy.. try to have a face to face break-up. Don't be afraid or show you are afraid.. u must be firm on de reasons you want to break-up... if he still holds on to you tell him that you are leaving and that's that... try to not go out alone for a while after that... always have friends.

It's a grind finding the right person, but I don't understand how self mutilation helps rectify the situation in his case. You got to do what you feel is the best course of action whether its with this guy or moving on into the single life for the time being.

Trust me, there's no way to let this guy go and still be friends. He seems lik that guy that is way too overemotinoal. I think that if you don't want him to cut himself over you dumping him, find a way to make HIM dump YOU. Act really obnoxious or just ignore him over the phone while you watch TV. Anything will work. Good luck!

My sister dated a guy who cut himself, was suicidle, etc. He wound up saying if she didn't sleep with him he was going to kill himself. Don't put up with his BS guys *and girls like this for that matter* don't deserve your compassion. Just because he's a controlling, emo little man, doesn't mean you need to feel sorry for him. If it's a relationship over the phone, I'd break up with him over the phone personally, you've seen him twice? I don't see the point of breaking up with him face to face. Let him go, do your thing, have fun be single, but let him go.