So here is the deal, the other day I was in the car when my dad checked the mail. Instead of setting the mail on the dashboard or in the console he tossed it into the backseat. Now I am sure he meant to bring them into the house later (our drive way is long and we checked the mail on the way in to town). However he did not, which prompted me to look through his truck. What I found absolutely horrified me. I found 162 unopened letters addressed to me. That's not including the ton of things addressed to the rest of the family. I am a junior in high school! I need information on the colleges I have to apply to next fall. Also I missed almost every open house! I love my parents, I know my dad is forgetful and has had a rough year. But I am furious... this could affect my LIFE. College is a very big decision, and since I homeschool I have no guidance counselor, which means that MY correspondence is a big deal. I can't seem to make my dad realize why I am so upset. I loved my parents they are like my best friends, but sometimes they just make me want to scream. How can I convince my parents to be more considerate?

If dad is forgetful, check his truck everyday for mail, or ask him about it.
Set up a box for the mail to be put in and see if you can get him to do a routine. Have you asked your mom if she could start checking the mail.

If your definition of "considerate" is for them to change the way they behave after you "explain" to them why they should, then no, there's no way you can convince them to be considerate.

Now, since these things are important to you, you can SHOW them consideration by taking these important tasks off their hands.

When someone hurts or inconveniences you through a bad habit of their own and YOU let it continue, that is your fault. But you don't stop the issue by requiring THEM to change, YOU change the dynamic of the situation so it can't hurt you anymore even though they don't get better... which they won't. Does that make sense?

Specifically, YOU get the mail from now on as long as you live there. Period. You don't even have to ask, just do it. If the mail is gone by the time you check, go find it. You know where to look. Don't bother making an issue of it again, you'd be wasting your breath.

Dude. I am on crutches for another 3 weeks, I can't carry anything... also dad insists on checking the mail, he doesn't like other people going through it first in case they might LOSE something. Ironic isn't it?

That is very frustrating I know, but communications is the key here, and if that falls on deaf ears, then you'll have to be more proactive in getting your mail, crutches or not. You may have to enlist the aid of your mom, so be sure you include her in talking to your dad.

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Originally Posted by foreverblue8691

dude. I am on crutches for another 3 weeks, I can't carry anything... also dad insists on checking the mail, he doesnt like other people going through it first in case they might LOSE something. ironic isnt it?

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Oh my gosh, you can't write funny stuff like that! Yeah, pretty ironic.

Well, you're up the creek for the next couple of weeks. After that, you can get the mail, get your stuff out, leave the rest for him to "get first". Again, he doesn't have to know.

I'm tryiing not to read too much into this, but it seems as though Dad may have a few worries. You say you have been home schooled? I am guessing that you are a pretty close family - Dad may have concerns about you going away to college. Have you had any conversations with him about which College you want to attend and/or which subjects? You don't mention Mom - Does she share your frustration with the mail. As I don't live in the US, I'm not sure how your admin works as far as further education, but contacting some of the colleges to see if there are any late open days or to make further enquiries may help.
Hope you are on the mend soon

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Originally Posted by Millerquest

You say you have been home schooled? I am guessing that you are a pretty close family - Dad may have concerns about you going away to college. Have you had any conversations with him about which College you want to attend and/or which subjects?

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Yeah, I want to go to college in Alaska (lol and I live in North Carolina, but he wouldn't have done it on purpose because I had mail from the college 5 miles away I didn't receive. I think he just forgets, he's had a rough couple months...

He's had a rough time but unfortunately this is also causing you to be frustrated with him. I do hope you get into the college in Alaska (or the next best one) Seems like Dad's level of security has hit a low point - Are you worrying about him? Sometimes when a person is knee-deep with worries/problems, it is so hard to think rationally and to be aware of how his actions affect you. You sound like a dream kid - not wanting to add any extra pressure? When things start to go right he'll really appreciate your tolerance.
As I mentioned earlier, try contacting the colleges concerned - It's worth a try

Try and get the colleges to communcate primarily through email or get things sent to a friends address. I used to do the latter with things (usually presents for them) I didn't want my parents to see.

Good luck with your applications!

Are you sure he just forgot? 162 letters is a lot...