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-   -   Understanding women in bed (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=221134)

  • May 29, 2008, 12:26 PM
    PKaminski
    Understanding women in bed
    Okay, there are two things which I would like help with. Thanks in advance!

    Firstly, recently I have been fingering my girlfriend and have become slightly confused. Here's the problem, its all good when I start (shes wet and everything), I finger her for about 5-10mins and I assume she's having a orgasm as she arches her back and all that kind of stuff, but then she goes dry and returns to being wet 5 minutes later. Is this the "cooldown" period?

    Also, I have not had sex with her yet and I think we are at that point in the relationship. What is the best way to transition from kissing to going down on her to sex? It might be that we are both gagging for the other to initiate something, but what a good way to initiate this.

    I hope my questions don't seem too "ridiculous" and I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks again.
  • May 29, 2008, 12:41 PM
    plonak
    I have a suggestion, why don't you talk to her? You need to communicate with her to see if she's ready to have sex too..

    I think that if you're wondering how to go about things you're not ready yet, but that's my opinion.

    If I'm completely wrong, here's some suggestions on going from kissing to oral to sex, to go from kissing to going down on her, be on top of her and then slowly kiss her body as you go lower and lower (keep kissing her body or you can lick her too) and then to her "area" and (if you've already decided that you're BOTH ready to have sex) after kissing her down there, slowly move up (have a condom ready) and dry hump for a little bit and gaige her reactions and see if she's ready to do it, then go from there, but use PROTECTION!!

    And please don't do anything you're both not ready to do, I can't stress that enough.. and remember SEX=BABIES!!

    oh and yes, about the wetness, it's proly her bodies way of reacting to the orgasm and then needing to gear up again for more action hence the dryness, but you should ask her, that would help
  • May 29, 2008, 04:25 PM
    Xrayman
    oh dear.

    okay, "fingering" describe just what EXACTLY you are doing-probably (although she appears to climax?).

    protection=condoms=no babies USE IT! Because by the time you are going down on her-eventually she will most likely (as you) would want penetration, this would be handy to have condoms RIGHT THERE.

    you ASSUME she is having an orgasm and you DON'T know if it is COOLDOWN (refractory period) I'm sorry, you should be discussing this with your girl-I believe that if you can't discuss this intimate detail with your partner, then really you are not mature enough to be having responsible-adult sex.

    good luck with that.
  • May 29, 2008, 06:55 PM
    Choux
    How about skipping the "fingering" and for your foreplay, focus your attention on her breasts, neck and ears, thighs, buttocks... run your fingers over her body face, her hair... kiss her lips, and forget about her genitals... I would be willing to bet the rent that she doesn't enjoy your fingering, but she is too inexperienced to tell you.

    I bet she will soon be telling you how much she loves how you touch her... Skip the cunnilingus on a newcomer to sensuality until much later in the relationship, skip the "fingering" altogether... her heart's desire is not to have her genitals worked over, she's not experienced!! She still thinks sex has something to do with romantic love. :)

    You are going to have to have a talk about disease and how to prevent that and pregnancy... don't do that in the bedroom... have a talk in Micky D's. Good Luck! Treat her like a Queen!!
  • May 29, 2008, 07:49 PM
    Ash123
    1. How old are you?

    2. yes, it is common to go wet and dry
    3. sex is not to be rushed... taking your time is half the fun! Trust me...
    The anticipation is intense and the feelings may be as strong as they will ever be.
    4. if and when you all decide it should be done with a talk. And sex requires contraception on one of your parts. Fingering and kissing do not :-)
    5. sex is for two consenting adults - that preferably respect each other. It all happens when the time is right.

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