Ask Me Help Desk - Why does he keep doing this?

OK its me again my ex-bf broke up with me 2 and half months ago and he just sent me a text message saying he doesn't love me anymore and good bye I did try calling him but he never answered so then after that I never tried to contact him I deleted him from my Facebook, msn and everything else. A month later he calls me and I miss his call but he never left a message, I didn't call back and then a week or so later he sends me a text message asking how I'm doing so then we went on msn and talked for an hour about stuff and once I logged off msn he sends me another text message saying I hope this was all just a dream because I don't want to start this all over again" I didn't reply and now he sends me an email saying how great I'm and how I changed his life and he feels guilty about he broke up, he tells me that he thinks about me all the time and he is always there if I need him and all that bull

Why does he keep doing it I mean he was totally out of my head for once I didn't care about him, I hated him and I was happy for once but now I'm crying again
Does he not get it that if he stays in contact I will never be able to forget him
I'm just so mad right now and crying

He's selfish. Forget him. Don't let him do this to you.

Chihua is right..
How long were the two of you going out for?

Take him off your msn, and if possisible block him from sending you messages to your email change your number, and most importantly don't shred anymore tears for him. It possible that he might miss you but by you talking to him it only leaving you bringing up old memories, only most likely the good, and making u miserable. He having control and messing with your mind so leave him in the past and move on like you was doing until he starting contacting you. You have control on whether to talk to him, so choose not to.

He's a selfish motherf****... Apparently he loves playing with your mind...
Just don't answer any of his messages/emails or maybe if he texts again you can txt him back and tell him to please leave you alone,that if he really cares for you to stop txtin/IMing you.If not just ignore him and maybe he'll get tired and leave you alone... but please don't give in, don't believe anything he says..

Damm Dameged calm done. Lol. This guy sounds
Like a jerk. He probably went with some other chick that he thought was the one, then got canned. And I now trying to run back to you. Well, well, well. Does this bring back memories were you had to convince yourself that it is your gain his loss. MAKE HIM PAY.

The guy is an idiot and thrives on the drama, I know people that are like this, I bet he's been out with someone else who actually realised what an idiot he was and binned him out and now he is feeling low he thinks he'll just pick you up again to make himself feel better.

My advise is to simply ignore him, the guy is a moomin!!

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Originally Posted by nickshehe

Chihua is right..
How long were the two of you going out for?

I was with him for 5 years I met him when I was 16

You guys are right. He is a very selfish person he feels guilty for what he did to me and wants to make himself feel better

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does he not get it that if he stays in contact I will never be able to forget him

It not up to him to get anything, its up to you to ignore him, and not let him contact you.

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I'm just so mad right now and crying

Do a much better job of no contact and save yourself the drama, misery, and pain, and confusion.

No Contact works only as well as you apply it.

I agree with talaniman. He is right. If you don't apply any of this then it won't ever change.

My ex girlfriend does the same with me too. Once things don't work out with her current or past boyfriend she comes crawling back. I like you start feeling better as time goes on, and then she will send me a text bring up old song quotes or something. She then will talk to me and then once she finds someone else to talk to or something to do. She stops replying.

They do this because we still talk to them, because they know we are still in the hole missing them. (even though we are getting through this at our own pace). The right thing to do is to just let go and stop talking to them all together. I know it seems harsh, and you don't want to knock them out of your life or make them feel like you don't care about them, but if you think about it, if you see them like 10 months from now and they ask you why you never returned their messages or calls.. . What are you going to say? Probably "well it just was to hard to talk to you and it was time for me to move on." They can't say anything bad when you say that, because they know they hurt you.

If they want to be friends in the future they will try, but he will say anything to get your heart and hopes up so he feels he has someone when things don't go his way.

Don't be his rug mat and let him walk all over you, pick yourself up and forget him

I speak from his perspective- I disagree with everyone's certainty that he is being mean. Perhaps yes he is toying with your emotions and I won't say anyone here is wrong. But consider this: I do believe that (based on my own history) both of your are reacting to one another based on limited communication. Sounds like he tries no communication, gets mad and says its over, but that's not what he wants, he misses you and wants you back, so maybe no communication again might work, and wait... you're not coming back so now he's frustrated, and now sad, maybe frustrated again - and back and forth. He is reacting just like I reacted while my exgf at the time was just getting lines of bs from her male and female friends telling her to turn and run and that I wouldn't marry her (I love the jealous male friends btw- she ended up bangin one of them- lucky him) when the truth was I loved her more than anything in the world but I was emotionally distraught and didn't know the appropriate reactions to bring someone back into my life. They told her I wasn't being sincere -but why would I put myself through such mental and physical anguish if it wernt real? Its was purely reactionary in my case and it seems that no one on the otherside of the fence ever recognizes that. I wish my ex did. She was flat out mean though (and maybe her friends were telling her to say this stuff). She called me names like insane and mean, and that I freaked her out, simply by me being frustrated or sad, but all I ever truly did was react to a situation I didn't know how to handle. I just wanted to communicate. And I'm a really great guy! I know she was just reacting back at me. I was just lost and love is a hard thing to handle when you can't really talk about it. Imo everyone is quick to judge rather than understand. In the end, I think she still loved me, but with limited communication between us and 100x more from her warped and jealous friends, shutting someone out is just the easier option
you seem like a very nice girl and I hope the best for you in your situation but consider your advice here. Read through your posts. There is a lot of assumptions and some vindictive posts based on getting burned themselves. --suddenly he's seeing girls, he's a mf'r, a jerk, and you should MAKE HIM PAY?? Question your advice- mine too

Hunni Do What's Best For YOU. Don't Worry About Him. Someone you Love Should never Make You Feel The Way he Does to You. He Lives Off This Attention, Go Out With The Girls Have A Good Time And Don't Think About Him. Ignore Him Completely. He Obviously donesnt Know What He Wants. Good Luck Hunni :) Stay Strong!

I am going to have to agree with RunDown... I guess in the end you need to do what is best for you! If you see yourself still wanting to have him in your life... then great.. . No one is going to think any less of you.

The reason we tell you these things like naievedude calls "getting burned ourselves" is because 9x out of 10.. . It's really how it works. People do weird things to try and not move on, because they themselves are scared too. We have also gotten burned before the same ways... that's why we tell you this. Honestly it has taken me over a year to realize how burned I have gotten... but you need to push through it.

I am sure you have great qualities about yourself, that no one else has. That is what makes each and everyone of us unique. Dating is a part of life, if we never lost someone we loved (especially our first love) How will we ever know if that one love is the right one for us? Breaking up with someone causes maturity with in us. Things will work out. You just need to try and realize what is best for you!

Omg! What a jerk ignore him he's not worth a tear once he calls you and tells you he doesn't love you and then he e-mails you and says he hopes that you don't believe its da beginning of everything nope! He's to fresh he is just getting in reach with you when he's bored.

I can't imagine leaving a girl after 5 years unless I really wanted out, really was no longer interested or something had drastically changed. I have been dumped a few times in my 46 years and I have dumped a few women as well. And this I will tell you from a man's perspective. After a couple of weeks the hormones build up and I have been known to go back to a girl I have broken it off with because I'm feeling lonely, and horny! But the reasons I left in the first place were still valid and even though the relationship began again, it always ended again at some later stage, ended with more pain for her and I. I've done it 3 times now and had it done to me once. I hope I have learnt my lesson now.

If it were me I would keep my guard well up around this guy, and if your seriously thinking of asking him back then I would sit down face to face at a neutral location and demand exactly "why" he broke it off in the first place and what is so different now. Then I would go away and think about it for a week or 2.

Good luck princess.

Sorry for the long first post.
My name is frank, I live down here in Australia and have just broken up with a young woman 2 days ago, hence I googled in here.