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-   -   Making my girlfriend feel better? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=220553)

  • May 27, 2008, 07:54 PM
    sadfaced
    Making my girlfriend feel better?
    Hello everyone. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I really love her, I can totally see myself being with her for the rest of my life. She's 17 I'm 19. We have a long distance relationship. We live about 1 1/2 hours away from each other. It's particularly hard seeing her now because she's so busy with school, finals, and work.

    My girlfriend texted me today and it said, "I'm having a horrible day today." I texted back with, "Baby it kills me knowing that u don't have a smile on ur pretty face. I would give/do anything to see u happy. I love you beautiful." Then she replied with, "Yea well I don't really care cause that isn't reality so it doesnt' really make me that happy." I came back with, "Baby if i lived by u or saw u on a daily basis I would try my utmost hardest to make that reality." She then said, "Ok but u don't live by me so that's not reality either." I texted her back with, "Baby im here for u if u want to vent tell me wuts wrong tell me wuts bothering u im hear to listen." She didn't text back.

    I know I'm bad at making my girlfriend feel better. I've told her that before. (I do, however, feel that if I lived closer to her or saw her on a daily basis that I would be better at it.) I feel so bad whenever she's having a bad day because I feel like a failure at making her feel better. I need advice, keep in mind that going to see her is not an option for now. What should I do when she is having a bad day? What should I text her, call her and say, anything?? For guys, What do you do when your girlfriend is having a bad day?
  • May 27, 2008, 08:26 PM
    Ash123
    Why the distance?

    It may be too much for her...

    If not, You can only be honest and communicate your feelings, and if she does not wish to text back, leave her alone. You don't need to pander or jump at every mood swing.

    You both are very young and this is a time to figure out a lot of things... She is getting her life together = and you too I presume.

    She just wants to know you are there, and you've offered all you can. But her not texting back has you very stressed and you may not deserve that. It may not just be about how you can make her happy... it's a two way street. Let her work her way through her stress - you will hear from her again. Send another note tomorrow if you want, but I would think she knows the difference b/w right and wrong (I hope) and you are owed a response soon.

    Let me know how it goes...

    this is not a time for flowers, chocolates and hallmark cards. It's a time to communicate like adults when she is ready.
  • May 27, 2008, 11:14 PM
    JBeaucaire
    She's fed up with the text messages. She is having a hard time in her life and you two not being in proximity has pushed her over the edge.

    Words on a text message are not true interpersonal connection. Not at all. It does not substitute for holding each other and comforting each other and encouraging each other eye-to-eye. She told you this. You just kept on texting. Nice going.

    Let her go find a local boyfriend or BE her local boyfriend. Every time you text her instead you stick the knife in a little further.

    Fix this. Break up with her and free her to develop a real connection with someone, or fix the distance thing yourself. Fix it.

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