I am a 23 year old woman... and I have been looking for the right man for over a year

Anyway.. I met this guy online, and every quality about him fit exactly what I love and want in a man.
When I talk to him its so comfortable and we can talk endlessly on the phone.
Not only do we share interests and drive in our life together, but we live 21hrs away...
I've known him for about a month, and it seems I'm falling in love with him, he feels the same way...

I was invited to stay at his house to see how things work out between us, but I'm worried it might wreck the relationship... im not religious at all, but I do want a marriage and so does he!

I'm not sure if I should follow my heart and move in with him in August or wait longer... is 4mths too soon to move in with your boyfriend?:confused:

Have you met him in person yet?

I don't think that there is a set time frame in which you should move in with someone. My boyfriend and I moved in together after 2 months, and now a year and 5 months later we still live together, and love each other.

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Originally Posted by khriah

I am a 23 year old woman...and I have been looking for the right man for over a year

Anyways..I met this guy online, and every quality about him fit exactly what i love and want in a man.
when i talk to him its so comfortable and we can talk endlessly on the phone.
not only do we share interests and drive in our life together, but we live 21hrs away...
ive known him for about a month, and it seems im falling in love with him, he feels the same way...

I was invited to stay at his house to see how things work out between us, but im worried it might wreck the relationship...im not religious at all, but i do want a marriage and so does he!

im not sure if i should follow my heart and move in with him in august or wait longer...is 4mths too soon to move in with your bf?:confused:

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You should pick a nuetral place to meet first and take a friend with you. Go with the "if it's too good to be true" rule and work from there. If you have not already met him in person you don't really know know him. Be careful.

Your post is titled "too fast?" That's a good choice. It means you really are aware you're acting dangerously. That's good.

I hope you realize that you haven't met him yet at all. You've met a persona on the internet. The feelings you have about this persona are probably real enough, but you have no basis for believing anything about his feelings other than words on a computer... and those words are the persona so far.

I know this is extreme (something I do well), but it's like the baby mouse saying to it's mom, "But the nice cat said I could come out play anytime I wanted because he wants to be my friend so bad....please can I go out and play, can I, can I?"

You don't have to be religious to be moral. Wanting a marriage and a family isn't a religious thing, it's a REALITY thing. But there are predators out there that use good people's values against them when coupled with bad sense.

So, 21 hrs away. You have no convenient way of "dating". So your pen pal wants to meet you and move things to the next level. The distance may trick you into making dangerous concessions. I hope not. "the cat invited the mouse to stay at his house..." Hehe...

I know what he means by "work out" and I bet you do, too. That may even be attractive to you in some way. The internet creates a strange sense of false connection, it's really weird.

My best short answer (too late now), don't do anything with this guy you wouldn't do with some stranger you met last night. When you meet it will be FOR THE FIRST TIME. You cannot assume anything you've learned so far is true. I'm sure some is, but you cannot safely assume anything. So don't.

To actually date this man, you will have to move, or he will. You know that. Dating means risk, and one of you will have to make that sacrifice. Meanwhile, don't make any silly concessions until you two are ACTUALLY in a position to date on a weekly, available basis. Until then, you have an awesome pen pal.

Remember this and you cannot go wrong.
Friends first,
Then marriage,
Then sex

Well arranged marriages where the couples never meet before or even talked can work if both want it to. Mail order brides from overseas worked for years. 1000's of online people meet and it works great. BUT, 1000's of online ones end up finding the other one is abusive, has mental issues and more.

This is the problem with long distance. Do you do web cam's have you each traveled to the area of the other person, and visted for a week end or two. All of that need to be done first