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-   -   Please help. My man won't have sex with me anymore (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=220207)

  • May 26, 2008, 10:54 PM
    Yummietaste
    Please help. My man won't have sex with me anymore
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 yrs. We've been living together since like day one. The sex was great and the beginning we did it all the time. But for the past 6 months its been like twice a month or once. I know he's not cheating but he always has an excuse why we can't have sex. He's never really been the type to show affection and would never tell me he loves me unless I said it first but I know he loves me. I'm 23 n he's 33. I want sex and he could care less. I feel like he's not not me but he says he is. He never touches me I need help. What should I do? Oh and he's not gay.
  • May 26, 2008, 11:23 PM
    kp2171
    Well...

    He is older, which doesn't mean low sex drive, but can mean lower drive...

    And you have been living together for forever, which means you are going throgh is common in many longer term relationships once the "chase" is over.

    It takes work from both sides. Its not common that both partners are perfectly on the same page sexually day in and day out. People get into ruts.

    But long term, you honestly do need to feel like you two are on the same planet sexually.

    The best thing you can try is to communicate openly. That doesn't mean accuse. Doesn't mean attack. It means calmly talk about what you desire.

    If he isn't ready to reach middle ground, you have your answer and need to make a choice. If you stay with a man who seems incompatible with what you want, you choose it. Its your choise. You don't get to complain if you choose it.
  • May 27, 2008, 11:06 AM
    Choux
    I wonder what you are getting out of this relationship as he has "never really shown you affection"... also, whether you have a life and friends of your own.

    You have to have a frank talk with him about love and affection and caring and kindness... all the things that you want from him. If he is unable to provide you with you want and need, you may want to end the relationship...
  • May 27, 2008, 11:13 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    This sounds like he is getting too comfortable with you.

    Maybe he feels that sex now is a routine and he's getting bored.

    Try spicing things up a bit. What excites him? Turns him on? And what about you? Do you have a variety of sexual techniques? Have you tried in or on the...

    Counter
    Chair
    Floor
    Car
    Bathtub (suana)
    Water
    Woods
    Dryer/washer machine
    Office

    Have you used toys, lubricants, chocolate, porn, dirty talk?

    I'm sure your imagination will get the best of you when it comes to sex. Communication is the best medicine.
  • May 27, 2008, 12:03 PM
    Yummietaste
    He's not not toys at all. N as hard as it is to believe literally nothing turns him on. I've never seen him react to things men react to like: naked women breast sex porn etc...

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