I was on this site back in sept 2007 when I discovered my husband had lied about where he was. We went to couselling once and she said she couldn't help us because at the time I was very upset. To this day I still don't know why he lied.

We had only got married in November 2005 so I tried again to give our marriage a chance. This past weekend my mom was down visiting and she was on our computer and I noticed the browser history had a few disgusting little porn sites. I didn't realize he was doing this. Now it makes sense the totally lack of sex in our relationship... a big past concern... I feel like a failure because we haven't even been married for three years. However if I let this continue his lies will only lead to bigger things I sure.

He didn't obviously learn anything back in sept when I was ready to divorce him for lying to me then. I was able to retrieve some of the history on the computer as he said he only did it that one time and he blamed a friend from work. I saw many different days like on the weekends when he isn't tired and I go to bed alone like usual. We have sex maybe once every two months.

It was teenage porn websites. I am truly disgusted and I believe that explains the no sex in our marriage.

Do I even at this point try to salvage this marriage?

Leave the evidence of your discovery where he can find, it so he knows you know, and take some time away from the situation. Then the emotional dust, and shock can settle, and you can make a reasonable decision. Are you the perfect wife, or do you have shortcomings like the rest of us. That must be weighed into your decision, not just your outrage, or indignation, to have a fair, and honest evaluation of this relationship.

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Originally Posted by threetimesout

i was on this site back in sept 2007 when i discovered my husband had lied about where he was. we went to couselling once and she said she couldn't help us because at the time i was very upset. To this day i still don't know why he lied.

We had only got married in november 2005 so i tried again to give our marraige a chance. this past weekend my mom was down visiting and she was on our computer and i noticed the browser history had a few disgusting little porn sites. i didn't realize he was doing this. now it makes sense the totally lack of sex in our relationship...a big past concern...i feel like a failure because we haven't even been married for three years. However if i let this continue his lies will only lead to bigger things i sure.

he didn't obviously learn anything back in sept when i was ready to divorce him for lying to me then. i was able to retreive some of the history on the computer as he said he only did it that one time and he blamed a friend from work. i saw many different days like on the weekends when he isn't tired and i go to bed alone like usual. we have sex maybe once every two months.

It was teenage porn websites. i am truly disgusted and i beleive that explains the no sex in our marraige.

do i even at this point try to salvage this marraige?

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I understand where you're coming from. I actually caught my husband in the act. I embarrassed him straight off the bat. I asked him if he was looking at porn and he said no. Then I said what did you just wash off your hand in the bathroom? All was silent and I yelled if you're going to jerk off then off and do it at you father's house. From that day on I haven't seen anything. But it's still hard not to think of it. I feel like I can't trust him. But apparently I've talked to some people about this and they say men do it all the time. I say if they have upstairs then why? Well I ended up buying things to enhance our sex life and things seem great but there's still the trust thing.

3Xout,

Well, porn is a nasty issue for me. I dislike it and choose not to look at it. I'd much rather spend the time romancing my Lady. The rewards are consistently better!

People with a love of porn particularly child and teen porn, scare me! Do you have any daughters lurking around the home? Adults looking at adult porn is up to them. The participants in the making the porn, IMPO, are panderers!

By the way, if you want to have some fun, you can go into the browser options and block the sites he visits. When they "Up-chuck" on him if he knows his way around the PC he will have to infer that you clobbered the sites.

Porn is simply another addiction. And as such it needs to be dealt with just like any other addiction. Unfornutately it is one of the worst of addictions and many people are hooked on it.

We've only been married for 2 1/2 years and have hardly had any sex. My husband is always too tired. He's a trucker who is out of town 2 nights a week but is home on the weekends.

I discovered last week why I think our sex life is so minimal. He is addicted to internet porn sites, especially teens.

He said he is very sorry and that he needed to stop anyway. He continues to lie however about how long is has been doing this.

I don't know what to do or think right now and am trying to avoid him. He thinks I should just forgive and forget. It's hard to forget that he was probable masturbating while looking at young naked teenagers and internet porn.

He has no excuse for not having sex with me.

Do you recommend divorce, separation or forgiveness??

Please help

How old is your husband??

He is 36

I recommend talking to him openly... making sure he knows that he won't get screamed at or else he will continue to lie... try to figure out if he needs help.. this borders on pedphilia if it's only teens he looks at. See what it is about him and ask him if he is not attracted to you physically anymore. Be prepared for answers you might not want to hear.. but hopefully they will be honest ones and then you can decide from there what direction you should go.

Thank you boomerpro

You are welcome... good luck and please look after yourself first and foremost

Here is your answer. Porn is an addiction just like drugs or booze. Until he is willing to admit he has an addiction problem and get professional help there is nothing you can do. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink



The Statistics Are Staggering:

* 66% of Internet-using men between the ages of 18-34 look at online porn at least once a month (1)
* 55% of pastors admitted to participating with porn online. (2)
* Over 40% of women on line are involved in problematic cyber behavior. (3)
* The largest consumer of Internet pornography is the 12 to 17 year old age group. (4)
* 70% of Internet porn traffic occurs during the 9 am to 5 pm workday. (5)
* Two out of three companies have disciplined employees for misusing the Net at work and pornography topped the list of abuses (6)


References:
(1) Psychology Today September/October 2005, pg.84 (source comSource).
(2) Survey conducted by Pastors.com April 23, 2002.
(3) Counselor June 2006, pg. 34 “Women and Sex Addiction” by Dr. Patrick J. Carnes .
(4) CBS News: The Passionate Eye –“O.com. Cybersex Addiction” Aired Monday Feb 7,2005 at 9 pm on CBC-TV.
(5) SexTracker. SexTracker Universe .
(6) Saratoga Institute, 1999. http//www.pwcservices.com

I am struggling to make a decision about divorsing my husband... it has been a week since I discovered he lied to me once again and has been hiding from me the fact that he sits at the computer when I'm asleep or at work and watches internet porn sites.. mostly young teenagers. He has apologized and given me roses and cards to express this. However I don't think I can go on with this marriage even though I do love him because of the disgust and disappointment I feel for him. We never have sex and I am sure this is why. I can't believe he could do this to our marriage. It's not so much the porn... im no prude , its just the fact that it was teenager. Do you have any advice

Put a porn blocker on every computer in the house that only you can bypass. Pesonally my wife would have most likely thrown the computers out the window. But he has an addiction, just like someone who uses drugs, if he can not see it when he is at home, he can't be looking at it at night.

Since he could get fired at work, he needs to stop that on his own, I have fired people before for that.

3Xout,

It's a fairly simple matter,

With the Internet Explorer launched go to Tools > Options > Security > Sites.

Cut and paste the "Sites" from the "History" that you want blocked into the "Sites".

Like Chuck said porn is an addiction just like drugs. He needs to get some professional help to go along with the site blockers that you are going to put on the computers.

You Need To Get Him Some Help. Something Like This Shouldn't Be Ignored. You Don't Say If You Have Children.. If So This Wouldn't Be the BEST Way To Raise Your children. If They Were To Come Aross Something.. Things Wouldn't Go Down So Well. Just Talk To Him. If Things Don't Seem To Change.. Do What You Have To Do. Its YOUR Life. You Need to What's Best For YOU. Even If It Costs You Your Marriage. Best Of Luck. He's In My Prayers :) x

There are several 12 step groups you can find online. The each deal with sex addition. They are: SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous)
SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous)
SA (Sexaholics Anonymous)

Each are good programs and fairly common in larger centers. They are 12 step programs based on the 12 steps on Alcoholics Anonymous.

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Originally Posted by threetimesout

i am stuggling to make a decision about divorsing my husband...it has been a week since i discovered he lied to me once again and has been hiding from me the fact that he sits at the computer when i'm asleep or at work and watches internet porn sites..mostly young teenagers. he has apologized and given me roses and cards to express this. however i don't think i can go on with this marraige even though i do love him because of the disgust and disappointment i feel for him. we never have sex and i am sure this is why. i can't believe he could do this to our marraige. it's not so much the porn...im no prude , its just the fact that it was teenager. do you have any advice

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Have you tried "faith" in God?

Addictions are very difficult to tackle on your own. Alcohol, for example, is a very powerful addiction and the most effective programs to combat alcoholism recognize the spiritual aspect of the problem:

Ephesians 6 12 For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood; but against principalities and power, against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places.

Catholic support group
Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery

Christian support group
Porn and Sex Addiction Support Groups for Christians

List of various support groups

Open Directory - Society: Sexuality: Sexual Addiction: Support Groups

I also recommend this website:
Christopher West Home

Christopher West teaches the role of sex in our lives and in our marriage. I highly recommend his lessons...

Sample article:
Christopher West “Pornographic Interference”

... for both of you and especially his book:
Ascension Press: Good News about Sex and Marriage

Oh and prayer. I strongly recommend you pray. And him as well. Pray continually.

Luke 1 37 Because no word shall be impossible with God.

Sincerely,

De Maria

There are dozens of programs, you download or buy a program at a computer store, you put it in, with a password that only you know.

Here is one but there are many Porn blockers