Hello,

I have a question on child support payments. My boyfriend had a son with his ex-wife in the state of Texas. She has now remarried and has not allowed him to see his son for the past several years, stating that his son was getting confused having two dads. And for the sake of his son's feelings, he has complied with her request after several attempts to see him. He used to pay her child support every month (sent her personal checks) and then stopped since he wasn't allowed to see his son.
Recently, she sent him legal papers stating that he needed to give up his rights and he didn't want to cause any issues and did sign them... And now they take money out of his paycheck for child support and did not take into account the money he had paid earlier. I think she filed something called a "child support lien" - not sure what exactly that is...

I know he still loves his son and hopes that he'll find him some day, but I am concerned about all the legal issues if I get married to him. I know that he has no issues paying for child support, but they started taking the money out of his paycheck only after he gave up his rights. Is this a fixed amount? Or will they be taking money out of his paycheck forever? He does not have a lawyer at this time... Will he need to get one?

I am just confused at this point and would appreciate any responses. I don't discuss this with him for fear of upsetting him in any way...

Well, I wish your husband luck. If I were him, I'd contact the Tx. Attorney general. This sounds impossible, but it is not. Look in the blue pages. If he was paying her with personal checks, he ought to have a pretty good record of the payments, even if he has to go get it from his bank. Anything he cannot account for he will probably have to pay.Since he has signed his rights away, it ought to be only a set amount, but he will be expected to pay that or sit in jail... I've never understood what good that does a kid, but I don't make the laws.Regarding the matter of an attorney, I'd see what I could get done without one(I'd probably find I'd get nuttin' done... 'specially since I don't speak the "Kings English"), but I'd definitely not recommend for him not to get one.He'll have to have one from Texas though If he wants to see his son, I'm sure he could discuss that matter with the attorney general to, though I don't know what kind of chance he'd have on that issue. Texas has very firm child support and custodial laws... but it is not impossible for one to get things worked out with them.Heres a link that may be handy.

Texas Attorney General

He should not agree to anything without an attorney, and I think it's about time to get one in order to put things in place. He also needs to keep record of every payments made.

About you getting married, I would suggest having a prenuptial agreement.

Not sure about a prenup but as far as the child support goes he will be paying on it for a very long time depending on the amounts and what state your in. If he is in arrears he can't leave the country, He has no rights to his son, He also may be paying interest on what he owes and that could be a bundle that has him paying well beyond the child's 18th ( or 21st ) birthday depending on the state.
He made a big mess and now he should be responsible enough to own up to it and do something. The amount of child support isn't set in stone it can change as needed depending on the situation and can be reviewed every 2 - 3 years depending on many factors. Get a lawyer and have them guide you as to what has already happened so he and you can make good decisions.

Texas is one of the states that stops child support after rights have been terminated. The fact that it is coming out of his check makes me think that a couple things happened. 1) His rights weren't actually terminated and he signed a bogus document. 2) He was in arrears (that amount is still due even after termination) or 3) He was supposed to be paying through the court system and not directly to her. In Indiana where a lot of support laws are the same as Texas if someone is ordered to pay through the court then the court will only accept one personal payment a year. All others are considered to be gifts. He should consider getting a lawyer in order to find out exactly what is going on.

Frankly, your boyfriend sounds like a wimp. A father has rights, but he often has to fight for them and it sounds like your boyfriend didn't. He made big mistakes in the way he paid support then in stopping it. By signing over his rights he basically became a stranger to the child, he would have no rights whatsoever to him.

Stinawords is right about the three reasons he is having support garnished from his pay. It also sounds like he's not telling you all the facts. If you get the facts, you might find a different story.

I think what happened is that he and his ex had no court ordered arrangement, and he had been giving her personal checks. When he "signed his rights away," the state hit him with back child support. If I am correct, this is all he will have to pay + more than likely some interest, unless he can go back to court, and present them with documentaion supporting his claim of paying her all along, or he wants to fight for visitation of his child, in which case they'll tack on more back child support, and he will need a very pricey attorney. I am not trying t discourage the latter, for if it were me I'd spend every dollar I had to be sure I get to know my child
... again, good luck

If trandy is right and it is because when his rights were signed away they hit him for back support then he has no right to file for visitation. He has no rights. That is the purpose of terminating parental rights. It means that his checks will be garnished until the set amount of back support is paid in full but he can not file for visitation or any other type of custody.

Well I'd hope that the guy might be able to work something out with his ex then... What a terrible thing to have to live with... When we're young, the easy way always seems best doesn't it.

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Poor guy!!