Ask Me Help Desk - Calming My Parents Fears

Calming My Parents Fears

Hello Everyone,

This may question may be slightly out of topic in this forum, but seeing that most of my friends usually only visit this location I figured I would ask here. Besides we all have relationships with our parents :)

Well here goes. I will be leaving to Central America very soon for a few weeks and my parents are terrified. I remind them that I'm 22 years old and that I can take care of myself. They're happy that I'm doing something I want to do, nevertheless they are still very worried. In fact, this morning my Mom started crying. Like I said, she is happy for me but is still terrified that I'm leaving to what she considers a more dangerous part of the world.

My question is, how do I make my Mom and Dad feel better? How can I ease their fears and concerns? I'll admit, I'm a little scared myself since this is my first real traveling experience but I want to let them know that I have it under control and therefore they shouldn't worry. Can anyone give me some advice? Thanks!

Why are you going to Central America, and what parts are you going to?

I think, before considering making your parents feel that you are safe doing this, it is essential to show that you feel confident, and that you have considered the risks sensibly. I am sure your parents know that they have raised a sensible adult, and I wouldn't necessarily associate the crying with them fearing for your safety... even if they say that is the case... Like many parents, they have probably dedicated a lot of time caring for you, and as you grow into new adventures, they are - maybe unreasonably, but very humanly - a little afraid that you are leaving for good... so, talking about how you'll feel when you get back, how you'll miss them and reassuring them that you will return... is a good thing... don't be too obvious about it;) Maybe ask them what they would like to do to celebrate your return... maybe a night out at a favourite restaurant?

Why not ask them questions... about how you should stay safe... and what to do in an emergency? Then reassure them that you will do that... make sure you have done sensible things like going to the doctor to ask about protecting your health (do you need shots)... and talk about the friends you are going with, and maybe tell a story of someone else who went and had a fabulous time, and when they came back they were much more able to look after themselves...

Showing you have considered the risks, and are acting like an adult, is a good way to reassure them that you will be safe.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Why are you going to Central America, and what parts are you going to?

I will be going to Guatemala with a class from my University (about 20 students total). We will arrive at Guatemala City and then take a 5 hour bus ride to Quetzaltenango. We will then each be placed with a Guatemalan family. During the day we will learn Spanish and in the afternoons we will be working with children from poverty stricken communities and teaching them art as a way of healing. It will last a total of 3 weeks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by confused25

I will be going to Guatemala with a class from my University (about 20 students total). We will arrive at Guatemala City and then take a 5 hour bus ride to Quetzaltenango. We will then each be placed with a Guatemalan family. During the day we will learn Spanish and in the afternoons we will be working with children from poverty stricken communities and teaching them art as a way of healing. It will last a total of 3 weeks.

I say share the experience before you leave. In other words: Let them in on what you plan to do when you get there.

Sounds like the trip is organized, something common, chaperoned by a responsible academic group... about as safe as one can expect.

The trip is dangerous in all the ways they fear it is. The world is dangerous. You're 22 now, though, so facing the world without being controlled by fears is what grownups do.

You have to do things like this. Go on your trip. Enjoy it, try not to fret your parent's fears too much. Be sure to write.

You can't make your parents feel better. Not going to happen. But you CAN accept their fear as normal, hug them and let them know how much you appreciate the way they worry about and love you. You love them, too.

Tell them decision is made and you aren't talking the "danger talk" anymore. After that, whenever THEY start in, give them a hug and leave the room without responding.

Its normal for parents to be like that. My parents get scared and nervous if I go downtown on a Friday night, lol.

Good luck with your situation, and have fun on your trip.

Inform them on the area you are visiting, and I agree with jrsg parents are just going to worry not matter what I imagine 10x as much if you are leaving the country... Good luck and have fun...

Thanks for the advice everyone! It is very much appreciated!