Ask Me Help Desk - I dumped him, now he says its different

Me and my boyfriend had been dating for about a year and a half and things were getting uneasy in the past week because of graduation and stress. After a crazy series of events, I snapped and called him up to dump him. As soon as I did it, I regretted it and called him up the next day. He wouldn't pick up and was really hard to get a hold of. When I finally did get to meet up with him, he told me that he was still upset that I broke up with him and he doesn't know if things could ever be the same again. He also said that he didn't know if he could be serious about me again and he needed time to think about getting back together and that he wasn't ready to get back together. He says he cares about me... blah blah blah blah. But even though I'm apologizing and crying to him, he asks for "time to think about it and that he's not ready" I have NO IDEA what that really means. If he is just trying to be nice about it or something. He still wants to see me and we are supposedly hanging out today, but with us going off to separate colleges in a few months, that makes everything else complicated. I love him so much and I really want him to realize that nothing changed just because I broke up with him on impulse. What should I do?

Sorry to say this but ITS YOUR OWN FAULT! My ex did the same to me 2 weeks ago, she got really annoyed at me and then dumped me instantly! Unlike you I don't think she wants us to get back 2gther, but I tell you now from a boys point of you, if my ex asked me to get back with her id need time to, because how can he trust you won't just dump him again. He will constantly be paranoid that u'll just do it again and has seen you in a new light! Just leave him be and I'm sure he'll soon come round and you 2 will get back 2gther, but if you don't then maybe its for the best! There are times when I wanted to dump my ex but knew I shudnt because if I did I would regret it instantly, but the fact that it was ever in my mind, I was being told something!

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I really want him to realize that nothing changed just because I broke up with him on impulse.

That where your wrong as his feeling had to have been hurt, and if you did it once, what would stop you from doing it again. Your impulsive behavior may have cost you this relationship as no way I would go back to someone who cared that little for my feelings.

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What should I do?

You have already apologised, so back off and give him space, to think about what he wants to do.

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Originally Posted by heartbroken_sad

But even though im apologizing and crying to him, he asks for "time to think about it and that he's not ready" I have NO IDEA what that really means.

It probably means he's not ready and needs time to think about it. Maybe this experience will help you learn some impulse control.

I'm continually amazed that when men speak, the girls simply don't take his words to be factual. They MUST insert some deeper, sinister, selfish "meaning" other than exactly what he said.

You broke up. He accepted.
He is willing to see you, but doesn't fully trust you anymore. Fine.
He still cares about you. Perfectly reasonable.

Just because you apologize and cry doesn't mean he has to forget how weird you've been. He can accept your apology, wait for you to finish crying, then pick right back up where he was... going slow and knowing you're weird right now.

You two are going your separate ways in a few months. I doubt you will be able to keep him after that, especially not by crying.

You need to give him some time. He has every right to be hesitant about being with you. Try not to push him! He may come around, but he may not. Only time will tell. Pushing him will only push him further away.

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Originally Posted by heartbroken_sad

me and my boyfriend had been dating for about a year and a half and things were getting uneasy in the past week because of graduation and stress. After a crazy series of events, i snapped and called him up to dump him. As soon as i did it, i regretted it and called him up the next day. He wouldnt pick up and was really hard to get a hold of. When i finally did get to meet up with him, he told me that he was still upset that i broke up with him and he doesnt know if things could ever be the same again. He also said that he didnt know if he could be serious about me again and he needed time to think about getting back together and that he wasnt ready to get back together. He says he cares about me.....blah blah blah blah. But even though im apologizing and crying to him, he asks for "time to think about it and that he's not ready" I have NO IDEA what that really means. If he is just trying to be nice about it or something. He still wants to see me and we are supposedly hanging out today, but with us going off to seperate colleges in a few months, that makes everything else complicated. I love him so much and i really want him to realize that nothing changed just because i broke up with him on impulse. What should i do?

Well he told me he's not ready to get back together after we talked. Then he called me the next day to say "i thought about it, and i dont think we should get backtogether rightnow." isn't that exactly what he said the day before when he needed time to think? And he is still agreeing to go on the overnight trip with me and my friends! I'm so confused...