I'm an insecure boyfriend, and don't want to hurt my girlfriend. Jelous and insecure
Hi, thanks for coming to help out. I don't want to go on a whole large rant, but I do want to make sure that anyone reading this truly gets what I am talking about.
My name is Kevin and I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year now. I met her in High school and she is a year older than me. She went to college for a year and I finished up high school and now we are going to be going to the same college. We lasted a whole year of long distance, and are happily togeather.
Before I tell you about myself, I want to say some things about her. She is an amazing girl and girlfriend! She is not one of the girls with a sexy flaunty attitude, but instead, she is an intellectual with a cute attitude and a very cute look. She works hard at school and barely ever parties, and when it comes to guys, she tries to stay away from them all.
Me on the other hand, I am an intellectual as well and study hard and, because she does it, I stay away form girls as well. Even though we are basically the same, I am a <b>LOT</b> more insecure and jelous than she is. When a girl talks to me, she does get a little upset, but when she is around boys, I am always nervous and have to ask if she thinks that he is attractive and what not.
There has been an incident once, when we were 4 months in, she was at a party in college and was with her friend and a drunk boy walked up to her from her old school and they were talking. When she was walking out, he pulled on her shirt and she said she had to go. The guy quickly dove in a kissed her, and she says she pulled away right away! She told her mom, her friend, and therapist this but me, I find it hard to believe. I know she is tellign the truth, but my mind just won't let me accept it.
She has never given me a reason to doubt her. She even told the boy a couple days after that she has a boyfriend and can not do anything with him.. I guess he was just a gdrunk guy looking for a hookup. The same happened to me with a girl and I feel horrible. After that we decided we would not drink without each other tc.
Anyway, I need help. I am over jelous and controlling. She has ever tough a guy other than me, and I have had sex with a couple other girls, yet I am so so so jelous with the fact that she kissed a couple guys, and had her shirt and bra off with one of them.. You guys don't understand, whe I think about it, my heart feels like there is a knot around it. And after I think about it, her going anywhere without me makes me feel like she likes someone else. When I don't here from her wfor a while, it makes me feel like she is losing interest. When we are togeather, its amazing.. she never lets me forget the fact that she loves me, but when we are apart, I am a mess..
I don't sleep when she is out with friends and can't concentrate when she is out, and I alwayse bring up her and the past guys she kissed and the college situation
I know I have a problem and I need to fix it. I don't want to lose this amazing girl because of my brain..
I believe it comes to me because I had a relationship before where the girl cheated on me twice and I was a mess, but I can't give excuses.
Can someone please tlak some sense into me.. I don't want to waste my happiness thinking about how she might break up with me or is losing interest. She loves me so much and is not one to ever cheat on me.. she likes to promise me we will be together forever..
I don't want to hurt her anymore and do not want to push ourselves away. If someone cal please suggest some ways to feel better and stop, I would really appreciate it. I want to go to therapy and get everything worked out.
Thanks for taking this time to help me with my problems..
Kevin