Are men afraid of showing their weaknesses partly out of fear of women exploiting them?

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Originally Posted by frangipanis

are men afraid of showing their weaknesses partly out of fear of women exploiting them?

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What sort of weaknesses are you asking about and what do you mean by exploiting, please?

Ahh, I thought someone might ask that question, Clough. Glad it was you :)

Well, there are lots of fears about feeling weak that we would all rather hide, I suppose, whether male or female. How about the fear that the male isn't strong enough to face another challenge just at the moment, whether psychological or physical, yet doesn't want to show it in case his partner talks down to him, maybe. Is he likely to be more demanding at that time, or more withdrawn, like going into the shed for peace?

I don't know, that's a poor example. I guess I'm fishing, wondering what fears men might have in relation to women. And why they act the way they do at times.

Just like women, men are just as insecure. There are a lot of things we fear but in today's society most men try to show the tough guy face as it is easier to face other people. However I don't agree that men are afraid showing weakness to their partner, whom they trust with the information they are giving them. If they don't that shows a lack of trust on their side or they will in time as it takes time to get comfortable enough with a person to show all the things that make them tick.

Some guys get reserved when facing a problem and some share it really depends on the person. I don't know if this helped but I tried.

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Originally Posted by mrchef1110

i don't agree that men are afraid showing weakness to their partner, whom they trust with the information they are giving them. If they don't that shows a lack of trust on their side or they will in time as it takes time to get comfortable enough with a person to show all the things that make them tick.

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Thank you!

I read an interesting quote a couple of months ago. It was what is the most basic fear of men and of women... deep down fear... man v. woman. For a man, it is being laughed at. For a woman, it is being beat up. I thought that was interesting.

I think it is a basic inbred, perhaps genetic, that men don't want to seem weak to women. The male role throughout the millennia has been that of protector of women and children... pregnant females with children have always needed help to survive until just very recently.

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Originally Posted by Choux

I read an interesting quote a couple of months ago. It was what is the most basic fear of men and of women....deep down fear...man v. woman. For a man, it is being laughed at. For a woman, it is being beat up. I thought that was interesting.

I think it is a basic inbred, perhaps genetic, that men don't want to seem weak to women. The male role throughout the millennia has been that of protector of women and children....pregnant females with children have always needed help to survive until just very recently.

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I agree, that is an interesting thought. Our deepest fears may well be the fear of being laughed at (humiliated) and beaten (physically ruined). And yes, I also think there is something fundamental (without being fundamentalist) and core in our make-up that renders women totally reliant on someone to protect them during pregnancy and the phase of raising small children, and that men, under normal circumstances, instinctively want to provide this for women.

Thank you very much for your thoughts, Choux.

I am fine with telling people my weaknesses, whoever I tell we just have a joke about it. I don't like acting like the big man and I don't want to be looked at one challenging to be the big man. Im myself and myself is letting people know my weaknesses, to friends or anyone, its good to have a good laugh about yourself :D

I like your attitude a lot, it's nicely relaxed. I'm sure it makes you easy to get along with :)

I think a lot goes on the mans age and in what era they were raised.
Lots of men who are maybe late 50's, don't like to cry in front of anyone, usually because then they were raised to believe that it was a sign of weakness for men to cry... it wasn't the proper thing to do... wasn't considered manly.

Then, they were considered to be the soul supporter of the family, having to deal with all the family financial matters with sometimes very little income at that time, but still they would not consider asking for help, it was their duty to provide so to speak , if they fell short ,then they were looked upon as weak, not a man, unable to support his family and so on... remembering we are talking 1940's then.

Through the years society has changed, in as much as, it is recognized that to bottle up your stress and feelings can be damaging to your health.

Today mens weaknesses are different... now its all about self image, if you criticize a man in front of his mates... e.g.. He turns away from a challenge, someone insults his girl friend and he walks away, he prefers a cuppa to a pint down the pub... to anyone looking on, this shows as a weakness and it will be a long time before they let him forget it.

There are to many examples to put down, but hopefully you'll understand what I mean.

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Originally Posted by Choux

I read an interesting quote a couple of months ago. It was what is the most basic fear of men and of women....deep down fear...man v. woman. For a man, it is being laughed at. For a woman, it is being beat up. I thought that was interesting.

I think it is a basic inbred, perhaps genetic, that men don't want to seem weak to women. The male role throughout the millennia has been that of protector of women and children....pregnant females with children have always needed help to survive until just very recently.

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Interesting.

I heard that the two most common fears were:

Biggest fear is of speaking in front of a large group.
Second biggest fear is of dying.

The old saying was, that most people would rather be in the casket, than giving the sermon to the large group of people attending the funeral.

I'm a guy

Have you heard the stereotype that men are the dominate species. And I personally hate this stereotype, while I was dating this girl I found she was dominate in our relationship she likes to have everything. But she has a sweet soft sensitive and I poured my heart out too. And I feel its endearing.


Plus I have a good amount of friends but more of the percentage is girls and I've told them all my life secrets and everything I feel that iwas horrible I've done.



Personaly it helped because know if something comes up they wll know and help me out.

Hope this helps

I was glad to read this, thanks Orphan: Through the years society has changed, in as much as, it is recognized that to bottle up your stress and feelings can be damaging to your health.

progunr: what you're saying is that certain fears are universal and non-gender specific. I can certainly relate to the fear of speaking in public which is probably my biggest weakness... totally freeze in front of a group. Much prefer one-to-one communication or small groups of people I've gotten to know well.

Mrcuddlesworth: thanks for that. I think love is at it's best when two people can safely share their life secrets and everything they feel. You're very lucky to have experienced that and to have made life-long friends as a result... friends you can always count on being there for you and who already know how you feel about things. It's a reassuring sign we're making some progress.

I really appreciate people letting me know how they feel about these things... it's helping me sort out a few important things I'm needing to understand at the moment, which is great.