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I've been dating this guy but he told me that he has 3 other girlfriends including me and on one of our dates he asked me to talk to one of the girls and I told him no. Also, he has told me stories about them and stuff and allowed me to see the text messages they've sent him. I'm wondering why he is telling me all this, if has he says, that I'm his girlfriend. Do you think he genuinely appreciates me or should I stop talking to him?
You should stop talking to him. Really and I can leave it at that. However, I'm curious to know why you would think that is something that you deserve. Nobody deserves that type of treatment. You are special and wany to be with someone that shares the feelings that you have for them. You deserve better than how he is choosing to treat you. Can I ask you how old you are? If this is a serious relationship then you are being disrespected badly. Has he asked you to do other things with these women besides talk?
So you ask for assistance and I give it andtell you that you deserve better and you disagree, sometimes we are not happy hearing the truth. Good Luck with that.Quote:
Originally Posted by MsMewiththat
Well, the word "girlfriend" usually means "exclusive". I guess it doesn't HAVE to mean that, but I detect your dissatisfaction with this whole thing is that you actually want it be more meaningful with him that he is indicating.
So, as to your questions:
Why he is telling me all this, if as he says, that I'm his girlfriend.
I think he's continuing to underline the fact that he has every intention to keep dating several girls and wants you aware of it. His PERFECT world would have you even approving of it, even liking the other girls. His ULTIMATE world would be all his girls going out with him at the same time like his own little harem.
He sounds awesome.
Do you think he genuinely appreciates me...
I guess so. I'm sure he only dates girls he actually likes... all of them. Liking someone or appreciating them, that doesn't really take any work, you know? That sort of just happens on its own. Its instinctive. The only thing you can gauge or measure is his actions, not his feelings.
So, does he encourage you? (and the other girls?) Even though he's not exclusive, do you enjoy his company and find he doesn't mislead you and makes you feel comfortable and secure? Even with all the other girls, does he still manage to make you feel special?
... or should I stop talking to him?
You should only stop seeing him if doesn't match what you want in a boyfriend. Most girls are seeking an exclusive man to grow close to and find out if you can stay together forever. If you're NOT doing that, this guy could be a lot of fun.
If you ARE looking for a serious guy, I put the question back to you... "How can keep dating a guy who doesn't want what you want?"
You're dating a jerk. He is a jerk, trying to prove he's a player.Quote:
Originally Posted by shanny_2006
You're disrespecting yourself by hanging out with someone who blatantly disrespects the others he dates.
I helped raise my little sister (I'm the 'big brother') and one thing you should know, is that all 'well behaved males' WORK at being well behaved. It's not easy. IMO, all men are pigs - it's just that we have the ability to DECIDE if we ACT LIKE A PIG or not.
He's a pig.
Don't play in the mud. You'll get dirty, and you have no control of what you wallow in.
My $0.02.
He has told you quite honestly what he is doing, and if you continue to be with him, it will be on those terms. So not to be rude, that's what he expects of his girlfriend(s).Quote:
I'm wondering why he is telling me all this, if has he says, that I'm his girlfriend.
Hi Shanny,Quote:
Originally Posted by shanny_2006
I feel bad for you, I really do. When I was 18 I met my kid's mother. I loved her too intensely for human words; every third thought was of her, every thing I wanted to do included her. This is not explaining to you some sort of obsession but to show you that every relationship involves the smallest or the mega mega, intense super-connection amount of love. When you love (or like) someone, when you are a true boyfriend, 3 other girls never enters your thoughts. He sounds insulated from reality.
I love my kids mom into the next seven lives, although she has done wrong to me repeatedly. Real love however small or large means you don't expect the emotional and physical benefits of being with that person but that since you hold them dear, you find no choice but to drizzle them with steady support, emotional responsiveness and in every day you know you have tried to add to their happiness in which, is with you.
On the human level, I have felt many times what you are going through right now.
My best advice by experience, would be to improve this brief phase of life. (Brief phases can affect a lifetime.) Step one would be to forget about this person that doesn't by what you described, seem to care about you for what you need nor for what you feel. If this lasts any period, it will eventually drain your emotional energy which is needed to get through every day of life. It could affect your emotions, your sleep, eating habits and your other relationships, etc...
This advice is not gender specific. Learn from life and improve yourself. And, when yourself becomes someone more wonderful to be around one day, an unlivable regret will remind him of the minute that it became acceptable to inflate his ego at another's emotional expense.
God bless, the purpose
The life motto we all hope to never live again: If at first you don't succeed, just keep on blowing it.
Glad you feel that way, because he is leaving his options open, and not committing to being exclusive.
On the flip side, you have the same options as he does. You can date who you want.
How long have you been dating as if its been more than 6 months, he should be able to tell ( and you also) if you want this to go to the next level, which is exclusive dating, to see if you click in the long term.
Its simple, if he is unsure or unwilling to take that step, then he is history.
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