My brother died unexpectedly yesterday moring and the wife refused autoptsy for that they are jewish ands against there religion. But there is a great chance he died of blood posioning. On may 9 2008 he had a wound that was infected on may 14 2008 I convinced him to go to the hospital we went they gave him a tetnus shot and antibotics they swab the wound but there was no blood taking at all. Then a week later in may 21 2008 he went to bed and never woke up. He was only 39 years old and was in good health

I'm so sorry for your loss, the shock is the first hurdle, once past that you have a lot of grief to get through.

But it sounds like you need some answers, can you discuss your shock with his wife and explain that you need help with finding closure and an autopsy may help, also if it was a gene fault it could help protect kids or family (be very careful however, you don't want to alienate her... she is in the position of power to make the choices for what he would have wanted.)

And at the end of the day even with an autopsy, you may never, never know why this happened. At some point you will want to focus on the memories and it's at that point healing will start for you. I wish you well and know that there are other people like myself who have been through the death of close family, use as much support as you can...

My opinion is that unless some other legal arrangement was/is in place, final arrangements, including the issue of an autopsy, will be the choice of the widow.

If the matter is important enough to you to deal with problems that might result in your relationship with your sister-in-law, you could consult a lawyer immediately to see if there are any legal avenues open to you re an autopsy. Or you might try speaking to the doctor first and inquire with him/her.

I suppose it is a question of the need to know and the long-term value of that knowledge as weighed with the value of allowing the widow/sister-in-law to go forward in a way that will facilitate her own grief.

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