Ask Me Help Desk - Can they make me stay?

Can they make me stay?

I am in foster care In Michigan. I was put in the system when I was 17 years old. Because I was not put in care because of anything I did, I don't understand why I was put in care at an age that you are considered by law to be an adult. I am now turning 18 and I am pregnant. All I want to do is move in with my soon to be husband and father of my child but the system wants me to stay and get services. I do not want these services and I also do not want my child to be born with me in foster care and have to live with strangers like I do. If I am 18 and don't want anymore help can I just leave?

Yes you can... if you ask police,or law officers theyr'e to kick u out att 18teen if they don't u have the right to leave... good luck wit your baby

When you are eighteen you can opt out of the system
Having said that, the services you could receive are very valuable. You may want to see if you can still receive these services even after you move. Have you talked to your case worker about not wanting to stay? Exactly what services would they provide? They are really just trying to look out for you and give you recources.

What state are you in?

In reality you should be able to receive W.I.C. which could help with some foods and formula, but there is still the other expenses like making it to the end of the month, or your renewal day. Also, diapers. The diapers expense is always there. You see they are just trying to help you to help your baby.

At 17 you can not leave the system, since you are not in most states in the US an adult till you are 18. At 18 you should be able to leave the system. In fact normaly unless yo
U are still in school, you are automatically kicked out since the money for foster care ends at 18. It is best to speak to your forster parent about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by startover22

What state are you in?

She's in Michigan. It's in the original question. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

She's in Michigan. It's in the original question. ;)

Yuppers, I noticed that right after I asked;)

Dear Look - Yes, I understand you were not put in foster care because of something you did. Believe it or not, the "system" is trying to take care of you - which I know you do not agree with. If the Court is involved, you cannot leave until the Court and/or Social Services deems it is appropriate for you to leave. In most states you can remain in foster care until age 21 years. The issue is not your age, it is that the Court had jurisdiction over you when you were a child and must help establish you with services as a young adult.

The thing that worries me is this - with a new baby on the way, you may need more help than you realize. For a lot of young women - they feel it is enough that they have a boyfriend - they feel they can manage. Most times, the boyfriend has no resources, no money and is not much older than the girl. The reason they may want you to stay is to make sure that you get your high school diploma, that you get proper medical care for you and your baby, that you have an appropriate place to live, and any other services that you may need.

They may believe that since you have no experience of your own - of making your own money, having your own apartment, looking for a job and services, getting your own medical care - you may be at risk along with your baby. The fact that you have a boyfriend does not guarantee that you are going to make it on your own with your baby. He leaves and drops out of the picture and you are on your own - without any job skills, no diploma, no apartment, no way of caring for your baby.

They may know that you have no family to turn to for help for you and the baby. This may or may not be your reality - it is their job to make sure that you and the baby do not end up alone, in poverty, with no one and nothing to turn to. You may not have the skills to even get help for yourself and your baby.

If I was working with you, I would want to wait until the baby is born and perhaps 6 months to a year thereafter - 1) to make sure your baby is healthy and receives all the proper medical care, 2) to make sure that the Hospital and/or services works with you and helps you to learn to take care of your baby, 3) to make sure that you receive Medi-Cal and/or Medi-Care, 4) to make sure that you receive your high school diploma, 5) to check-out your boyfriend and if he has a place to live and how he makes his money, 6) to make sure that you receive instruction on living skills - taking the bus, opening a bank account, how to apply for food stamps, how to fill out a job application, how to get a job, etc. 7) to make sure that if you are eligible for Social Security benefits and/or other services you get them, 8) to make sure that you have a support system in place and not only your boyfriend. This is a lot of work and is to help you.

A lot of teenagers leave the system only to wind up living under a freeway pass, alone, and in poverty or in a shelter or in jail - this sounds terrible but statistics are facts. I need to protect you and your baby and offer you everything I can to make sure you make it. I would not leave you - even if you wanted to leave just because you are 18 years old.

As an 18 year old - if there is Court involvement - you can ask the Court to release you, if I was working with you, I would recommend that you stay - if the Court disagrees with me then you leave. A lot of things are a lot worse than living with strangers - the goal here is to protect and help you and your baby.

A lot of teenagers turn 18 years old and leave home - sure, they have supportive parents, they are moving on to collage to learn a trade or get a job, they have a bank account Mom and Dad set-up, they have their high school diploma, they have Grandma and Grandpa to help with money, they have an Aunt or Uncle they can move in with if something happens, they received good parenting and know how to take care of themselves when they turn 18. And sometimes these same 18 years old still need Mom and Dad to figure things out - and sometimes to help out financially.

Hang on while you can here - now it is not just about you - its about you and your baby. You want to be able to make it on your own even if you have a boyfriend. Yes, you are going to be 18, yes it means you are an adult - but no, it does not mean you know how to take care of yourself and your baby. For your baby's sake, hang on and ask for all the help you can. If your boyfriend cares for you and the baby, he will wait for you and understand the situation.

I really do feel for you and your young age, your need to be free. You will make it but make sure you have the knowledge and skills before you get out there - your baby will thank you for it. Take care darling.

ur 18 do whatever u want to do they can't stop u and their not ur boss plus they have no rights to u or ur child so just leave besides u dont have to be in foster care to get help fom the government there is a thing called wic

Illusion is absolutely right the court might have jurisdiction over you until 21
If they do not have reason for keeping you until 21 then you are free to leave and you can sign up for programs like WIC without foster care.

What you can do is when you turn 18 be in a program called independent adult program which you still have a case worker but you can get a check of 795.00 each month till you turn 21 years old. I know this because I've been in the system since I was 11yrs old. I'm now 20 and you just have to meet with your caseworker once a month and either go to school full time or job full time or both. It wonderful has helped me a lot. And there's a lot more they can help you with there's a program called etv and you get 5000.00 in a check if you go to college. You can live in your own apartment or house. I think you can benefit from this and your unborn child.

The independent program is good if she decides to stay in the system but
Seems like she wants free from their rules and out on her own.
Check ALL options like the independent program, programs for low income, etc.
If eligible, you might want to even check into ssd.

Not an answer but a follow up question... I thought if a ward of the state had a baby that baby would a ward too... isn't that what happened to some of the mormons in Texas?

Quote:

Originally Posted by looking4truth

I am in foster care In Michigan. I was put in the system when i was 17 years old. Because i was not put in care because of anything i did, i dont understand why i was put in care at an age that you are considered by law to be an adult. I am now turning 18 and i am pregnant. All i want to do is move in with my soon to be husband and father of my child but the system wants me to stay and get services. I do not want these services and i also do not want my child to be born with me in foster care and have to live with strangers like i do. If i am 18 and dont want anymore help can i just leave??

YES. The first day I turned 18 I made sure I left the grouphome. But they do have a lot of programs to help you. But there was no way I was staying in a grouphome. The day you turn 18 is the day your chains are unlocked weather they like it or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by looking4truth

I am in foster care In Michigan. I was put in the system when i was 17 years old. Because i was not put in care because of anything i did, i dont understand why i was put in care at an age that you are considered by law to be an adult. I am now turning 18 and i am pregnant. All i want to do is move in with my soon to be husband and father of my child but the system wants me to stay and get services. I do not want these services and i also do not want my child to be born with me in foster care and have to live with strangers like i do. If i am 18 and dont want anymore help can i just leave??

I have been in the systom now since I was 3 and I was pregnant at the age of 14 I know what your going though and yes you can just leave but its much harder on your own then it ever would be with all the suport that they can give you u would be better off I know I made that mistake along time ago.

Do the rights change in canada like my sister is 18 I'm not so sure that she can just leave like that.. if she does they take her child..

This is an old post and the OP has not been back.